Phasing out co-sleeping with a toddler

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

2.5 year old has gone through different phases with his sleep (for a brief time sleeping through reliably in his own bed) but we’ve got in the habit of co-sleeping in my bed and I’m getting fed up of:

• having to lie with him until he goes to sleep, which can take ages and eats up my evening

-poor quality sleep because he tosses and turns -him being distraught if he ever wakes up and I’m not there.

I feel like this is just a habit we’ve got into but I don’t know how to break it - in particular I really really want to get my evenings back as i just don’t have enough time to keep on top of everything when I’m spending so long waiting for him to sleep.

Make him choose a big boy bed for his room or new sheets and put him in. Stay with him until he falls asleep then leave. If he cries comfort him until he sleeps then leave. And make the entire routine as regular as clockwork. He will eventually get used to it

What GrumpyHoonMain said sounds sensible, certainly worth a try.

The other thing you could do is keep him downstairs with you for the evening and put him to bed when he goes to sleep. He'll amuse himself with toys on the floor and then cuddle up with his parents on the sofa when he's getting sleepy.

We stayed with her in her toddler bed to get her to sleep to start with then gradually moved to sitting next to her bed, then standing by the door etc. I always go back to her if she calls me but then leave again now. We aimed for starting the night in her own bed to start with and let her come in during the night if she woke. We then moved the time she was allowed in later and now it's generally if she wakes up post 5. She doesn't wake up often in the night now.

Ah, so you have two children! Your little girl's sleeping pattern sounds good now.

Thanks for the suggestions.

How long does the ‘gradual retreat’ approach take?

I think it’s the fact he’s so dependent on being physically close to me at night that is challenging (he’s generally very confident and independent during the day, far from clingy!). We only stopped breastfeeding a couple of months ago and since then he’s become more demanding in terms of wanting me close - he’s not happy unless he’s got his head in my armpit or resting on my stomach.

I used to sit in his bed until he went to sleep but since we stopped BFing it can take him sooo long to settle and it was just so uncomfortable cramped in a toddler bed that I started laying with him in a double instead.