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Breastfeeding/sleep advice - newborn

18 replies

BeyonceKnows · 12/10/2019 12:24

Posting here for traffic... Had previously posted in feeding but no responses.
I have a 2 week old. She's breastfed and took to it perfectly, immediately after birth. We've had no latch problems. I have no pain. She often has milk around her mouth after feeding and is gaining weight (not quite back to birth weight but MWs reassure us they aren't worried).
My concern is, she wants to feed constantly. Literally 2-3 times an hour, every hour. If she is upset, the only way to settle her is to feed her.
She won't be put down at night time even if she has fed the entire day. I'm exhausted.
Initially I thought it was cluster feeding but it is literally the entire day.
I'm terrified of cosleeping but I have dozed a few times because I'm just so tired.
We have a next to me but she cries even in that.
Please somebody tell me this is normal and will end soon. I don't expect a feeding routine but I'm basically tied to the sofa all day with her and awake all night.

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littlemissminor · 12/10/2019 12:32

Very very normal, don't worry! It is hard work, but it does get easier Flowers

Sevo7 · 12/10/2019 12:32

My dd was a very ‘sucky’ baby and the only way she would sleep was attached to my boob! It wasn’t so bad in the day but exhausting at night as I had to half sleep propped up with her latched on. She refused to be put down and if I tried the second I put her down she woke up screaming. She wouldn’t take a dummy at first but I kept preserving and by about 6 weeks she took to it and then dropped her feeds down to every 3 hours but would still only sleep next to me or being held. It may be worth giving a dummy a try if you don’t think she’s feeding for hunger.

Ludos · 12/10/2019 12:41

It's normal and will pass. Be kind to yourself, keep yourself nourished and accept all offers of help. Congratulations Flowers

ButterflyWitch · 12/10/2019 12:45

totally normal. She wont have regulated day versus night yet, she'll be feeding all the time to get your supply up, and of course she doesn't want to be put down when she's used to being warm and cosy in your tum!! Sounds like you're doing great, ps congrats

Sunflower160 · 12/10/2019 12:55

It’s completely normal. I nearly stopped breastfeeding because for the first three or four weeks DS was latched on nearly all the time and I was so exhausted like you describe. I am so glad I carried on. It passed. At the moment she will be increasing your supply which is totally normal. Keep going, it’s beyond tiring but you’re doing a great job.

Boobiliboobiliboo · 12/10/2019 12:58

My concern is, she wants to feed constantly. Literally 2-3 times an hour, every hour. If she is upset, the only way to settle her is to feed her.
She won't be put down at night time even if she has fed the entire day. I'm exhausted.

There’s a massive growth spurt at 2 weeks.

Google the fourth trimester which will explain why she doesn’t want to be put down.

I'm terrified of cosleeping but I have dozed a few times because I'm just so tired.
We have a next to me but she cries even in that.

Look up the sage bedsharing guidelines on the Lullaby Trust website and follow them. It’s a completely biologically normal thing for mothers and babies to do. We’ve done it for centuries. Modern life hasn’t altered human biology.

BeyonceKnows · 12/10/2019 12:58

Its such a relief to hear that it's normal (and that it'll pass). I love her so much but its so much more intense than I expected. When people said you won't even be able to shower, I thought they were exaggerating. Luckily, my partner is fantastic and is doing EVERYTHING for us but he goes back to work next week and I'm panicking about how I'll cope on my own with the feeding machine 😂 We'll just take one day at a time and try to remember that one day she won't want to cuddle me so I'll make the most of it now!
Thank you all

OP posts:
Spam88 · 12/10/2019 14:53

Can you encourage her to take more at each feed? Try breast compressions to make your milk come out a bit quicker. Change her nappy after she finishes to wake her up a bit, then put her on the other boob.

If she's feeding 2-3 times an hour then I guess she isn't feeding very long each time?

Kimberleigh · 12/10/2019 17:58

Hi OP.

Well done and congrats.

EBF is tough. I intended to EBF when I was pregnant and we started off that way in hospital. She had all my colostrum, But back home on day 3/4 she become hysterical every time i put her on me, screaming none stop. I tried and tried. I was absolutely convinced i had no milk. Her cry was heart breaking and so Upsetting.

We had the breast feeding consultant over and we were told to formula feed to get her eating, and express every 2 hours to get my supply going.

It was soooo hard. I was recovering from c section, tired, emotional, crying ALOT and stuck to the settee for hours on end pumping the life out of my poor nipples!!

Hubby was, and still is amazing. He did everything else.

So now my milk is great, we have still stuck to combination feeding. I think because A) we had no choice to bottle feed and she takes to both great, and B) it gives me a break and the chance for hubby to feed

If you feel like trying it, you should. Its working amazing for us. We all get the best of both worlds. Baby gets booby, i get a break and hubby gets to do feeding and bonding time.

upups · 12/10/2019 18:02

Yes totally normal and it will pass. I know it sounds hard but try and enjoy these precious moment between you and your baba. You are her everything at the moment and it's so special. My little one is over a year now and still breastfed but I miss the days we could just cuddle up and feed all day. Keep going you're doing a fab job!❤️

particularsrequired · 12/10/2019 18:06

Mine was like that. Once I accepted that that was how it was, I absolutely loved being stuck on the sofa with her all day. Enjoy it if you can; it'll be over before you know it, even if it feels endless at the moment. I look back on those months with great nostalgia.

madroid · 12/10/2019 18:11

In the day you could try putting her in the pram and taking her for a walk for 30-60 mins. When you get back she'll be starving and have a longer/ bigger feed. So should sleep longer and reset a bit.

On the other hand she might just be stimulating your supply still. Eat and drink really well. Rest a lot. Don't worry about anything else except the two of you. Internet shop easy nutritious meals and snacks.

Congratulations!

Bobbybobbins · 12/10/2019 19:18

Totally normal but the first few weeks are so tough. It's probably partly that she is still building up your apply.
Agree with pp that a walk with the pram when she's asleep will get her to have a long feed when she wakes up.

EMILYSSTAR · 13/10/2019 00:27

Currently just home from the hospital with the little one who is 3 days old. He is our first and I am also finding the lack of being able to get any sleep very difficult.

He is quite happy to sleep on either myself or DH but as soo. As he is placed in the loses basket within about 20minutes he is screaming bloody murder and wanting fed.
Both if us are currently dead on our feet and struggling to stay awake.

DH even tried taking little one out the room so he couldn't sense the breast milk but that made no difference. Hoping it will settle down soon as I finding this so difficult.

WMPAGL · 13/10/2019 04:21

OP, this would break me!

Is she not feeding for very long each time? What saved my sanity was getting my little one to have a prior 'meal' each time by actively waking him up when he started to doze off on the breast rather than allowing him to snack.

It can be hard work keeping them awake at that age but nappy changes, stripping him naked, gently blowing on his face or at a push gently dabbing him with a wet wipe tended to do the trick! Feeds then went to once every 3 hours and then once every 4 for up to an hour at a time which was much more manageable even if I had to be much more active during the feeding hour. Good luck!

Jent13c · 13/10/2019 04:50

Mine was like this. I gave a dummy on day 5 which he wasn't really a fan of but he got there eventually. Some babies need the comfort of suckling all the time and before I had my DS my children were never going to have dummies Confused. In a way it does make things quite easy eventually as all problems are solved with a feed!

BrownBirdsFly · 13/10/2019 05:18

Hi OP. Firstly, congratulations, not only on your new baby but on the breastfeeding. Unfortunately you’re finding out what many, many breastfeeding mums before you have found out that I don’t think is always talked about - it’s so hard! There’s definitely a lack of conversations about the reality of breastfeeding.

It’s intense! You will spend days where you feel like all you’re doing is sat with a baby on your boob. This is because baby is building your supply and because babies do also suck for comfort etc.

I’m now breastfeeding my second, who is 4 weeks old and the difference this time is that I KNOW it doesn’t last. After 6-8 weeks the cluster feeding will reduce, you’ll be spending less time on the sofa and start to find some spacing between feeds. You won’t even notice it happening - but it will.

My advice - embrace it! You’re on mat leave to care for yourself and your baby. Get a box set on the tele, snacks and lots of drinks and set up base. Feed, rest, cuddle. Try and get out for fresh air and a walk once a day.

Finally and this was the game changer, co-sleep. We resisted for many miserable weeks with our first. But for breastfeeding mums it really is the biological norm. Set up a safe sleep space in your bed, drink no alcohol and do not smoke. And feed your baby lying down! You will barely have to wake and both of you will drift in and out of sleep and feed. This is much safer than becoming so exhausted to accidentally fall asleep on a sofa etc.

Oh... and I’m next to my unused bedside crib currently. Babies don’t want to sleep alone! Use a sling in the day - they really work! And enjoy the cuddles at night. I promise my 3 year old does not want to sleep in our arms anymore and you won’t create ‘bad habits’ or a ‘rod for your own back’.

Sorry that’s long. Hope it helps. Happy mum, happy baby! Good luck x

BeyonceKnows · 13/10/2019 05:48

Thank you all for your advice and support. Currently feeding after she slept from 1am. In her crib! I feel like a new woman!
She had much longer feeds today, partly her choice, partly encouraged by me following the advice on here and so fed much, much less. Was happy to lie with her dad for long periods so I could move.
I think yesterday must have been a growth spurt.
I really appreciate you all taking the time to respond, it's very overwhelming at times and just that reassurance that it's normal helps massively.
Emily Congratulations on the birth of your LO. Please take comfort from all the responses on this thread... It really will get easier. For now, just enjoy your tiny baby (ours has already changed so much in 2 weeks, it really does fly!) and try to rest whenever you can.

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