12m still wakes every 2-3 hours for a feed - any way to reduce this?

[Experiment627]

My beautiful baby boy is still waking every two to three hours at night for milk (bottle fed). This has been the case pretty much since birth and on some occasions (like last night) it is even more frequent.
He is generally pretty good about getting back to sleep - we co-sleep (might tackle that once I can get more sleep).
I have tried upping the milk given - this has not changed the frequency
I have tried reducing the amount - this has resulted in screaming
I have tried offering water - this has resulted in refusal
HV suggested giving him a bigger dinner - this has made no difference at all

BTW He is not at all piggywiggy - he is at the 50th percentile

Any top tips would be gratefully received. Thanks!

Cows milk instead of formula? A sippy cup instead of a bottle?

Whatever you try, you’ve got to grit your teeth and do it for a fortnight. No kidding. And only expect results after the fortnight.

Although tbh I would tackle the co sleeping first.

You could try and give him more milk and food throughout the whole day. We don't wake up at night because we eat enough during the whole day so you can start there. How much milk does he drink at night?

I think tackle the co sleeping issue may help - could he be waking up as your movements disturb him? Then the routine is to have milk and go back to sleep.
I would feed him dinner, milky snack before bed ?cereal maybe, then only offer water through the night. Yes he will scream or refuse - it takes roughly 3 days to break a habit I think so you will have to persevere.

It sounds like he's waking out of habit, rather than because he's hungry. I would probably just stop offering the milk, only water overnight. It's really hard but you might have to put up with a bit of screaming for a few nights before he learns how to put himself back to sleep. The screaming is because of frustration that you're not doing what he expects, not because he's starving.

I really do get how hard this is - I never did it with my pfb and he's still a shit sleeper at 3y. I was too knackered to put up with bad sleep with a toddler and a baby, so I've been tougher second time round (no choice) and any sleep issues got sorted swiftly and he's a much better sleeper.

It sounds like a comfort thing rather than a hunger thing. He will refuse anything different to begin with. When getting my daughter to sleep through the night with out waking up for bf we mentioned it every so often through the day (my big girl doesn't need milk tonight, etc). Then the first night was horrible, the second night better and she got the idea after there the third night. There was lots of comforting though. My original plan was if she was hysterical after the third night I'd try again in another month. If you give in half why through the first night I think it sets the idea that if the cry enough they'll eventually get the bottle.
It's horrible hearing them cry but just tell yourself there are babies that are 8 weeks old that can sleep through the night, he doesn't need it. That mantra got me through x

Have you tried the little ones sleep programme. Its very gentle and promotes self settling (no CIO) with a focus on food during the day and nap times as it hes over or under tired, or still hungry that will make a difference. Is it possible that you're disturbing each other by co sleeping? I appreciate the benefits of co sleeping but DD who I couldn't safely co sleep with due to her low birth weight is now sleeping much better than her peers. When I've now co slept with her (she had a virus a few months ago) it was the worst night's sleep I've had since she was a newborn as she basically kicked me in the gut all night and pulled my hair when she normally would have settled herself back to sleep. I second cows milk at night to. At 12 months you dont need to be paying out for formula.

We had this. Tried everything as you have. The screaming for am hour plus was unbearable. Eventually I booked a week off work and vowed I would just stay up all night comforting the wee fella whilst refusing drinks, even borrowed a camper van to retreat to for sale of neighbors. He slept through the first night. Ha.

It seemed like we did nothing different to previous attempts, he was just ready. He was 18 months (sorry). I'd still try all the usual things, but be prepared for hellish nights. We also broke the cosleeping, at least until 4am when he might get upset and we bring him into big bed for a few hours. He sleeps fine now, and sleeps through a few times each week 8pm- 7am.

It does end!

• for sake of neighbors!

In the nicest possible way, you need to stop. He's 1, he absolutely doesn't need milk at night. If he refuses water he's not thirsty, but you can offer it anyway.
You need to break the cycle, he's used to you feeding him so he's going to wake up for feeds. If he stops getting them eventually he'll stop waking up for them. It will take a few awful nights but just keep strong.
Big dinners with loads of yoghurt afterwards. You can give a big bedtime milk feed (warm cows milk) and then the bar is closed until 7am.
Personally I'd get him in to his own bed now to mark the start of a new routine and help him to learn to drop back off without you if he stirs in the night.
It will be tough but you'll come out the other side soon, and you'll be able to sleep!
I've just night weaned, my 12 mo he has now started to sleep 7:30-6:30. If he does wake and starts to cry, I just go in and rub his back and shhh for a minute and then come out. I repeat every 5 mins until he's asleep. I see him wake on the monitor now and he mostly just has a little roll around and nods back off by himself. I used to be up feeding for 2-3 hours per night.
We are both happier in the day, and he's eating more food now too.
Best of luck!!

Thanks all!

We are currently on a mixture of cows milk wit formula - just using up my last box. I imagine in a week we will be completely on cows milk.

I will try offering water again... I guess like all of us the prospect of getting even less sleep than now is not a good one... I may need to book time off work but only have 3 days left this year - so it may have to be a Christmas switch... let me have a think.

How much milk does he get during the day? How much solids?