How can I (gently) stop co-sleeping with my 3.5-year-old?

[Lavera]

DD is 3.5 and we have co-slept since she was a baby. I did this with other DC (beginning with a co-sleeper cot until older), and they naturally transitioned into their own bed (cot) in their own room at age 1 or 1.5.

DD didn’t - howled whenever I’d try to do that.

Right now, she has a lovely bed set up in a shared room with her sibling, who she gets on with (for the most part!). I’ve made a real fuss over her bed, making it cosy and fun and she loves it BUT she won’t sleep in it - only with me.

While I wouldn’t mind if I knew she’d naturally just get over this soon, lately she’s disrupting me quite a lot in my sleep. Rolling over into me, landing on my pillow, kicking me, and so on. I’m starting to feel quite sleep-deprived and co-sleeping was (in part) my way to make sure we all got maximum sleep.

Now that it’s not working anymore, how on earth do I persuade her to sleep in her own bed?

(She’s a very early riser, and the sibling she shares with isn’t, so I can also see this being a problem...)

Would her bed fit next to your bed for a while? So she can get used to sleeping in it but still be close to you.

Not easily, brittlestar, but not impossible (her mattress anyway - her bed is the bottom bunk of her sister’s bunk bed). I will try that tonight!

Imaging her rolling under my bed though...

First pick a time. I would opt for half term so you have a week and so her siblings can recover from the disruption. Tell her she's a big girl now and must sleep in her own bed. Buy her a gift, maybe a night light/ torch. Get a book about big girls in their own bed and read this to her a few nights before you do the move. On the designated day do her usual routine and put her in her own bed. Say goodnight and leave. Be prepared for tears and tantrums. Be prepared to keep taking her back to bed continually for the first few nights. Stick to your guns. Do not cave. Don't get into bed with her. Don't let her back in yours. It may be an idea for the sibling she's sharing with to 'camp' in another room until she stops with the drama ( not yours!). Finally pour yourself a large 🍷 and reclaim your bed.

Also don't engage with her once you have said goodnight. No talking to her, no explanation etc. She needs to know bedtime is bedtime.

What happens if you lie with her in her bed and then leave once she’s asleep? We co slept with my son and then when he turned 3 we started putting him into bed in his own bed and the leaving once he was asleep. Now he comes and finds us in the night, sometimes not until 4am so I’m hoping that gradually he’ll just stop waking up - following for any better advice though!

Following , I'm exactly in this predicament but I have the added pressure of baby no 2 being here in 4 weeks! I break up for mat leave in a few days so will try what @Redwinestillfine has suggested and hope for the best!!