A question about daytime sleep ...

[thecatwiththesilveryfur]

So DS isn't a bad sleeper at night but is disastrous during the day. He usually manages 20 minutes in a nap, once or twice a day, only goes to sleep if in his pram or fed to sleep (and that's getting unreliable), and by bedtime he's crying with exhaustion. So I need to improve his napping!

The thing is, I can't figure out how. I know the theory: dark room, clear cot, put them down relaxed but awake - but what I can't figure out is, what next? What do I do when he doesn't go to sleep? I can pat, shush, soothe, etc., but it doesn't make a difference: he gets more and more distressed and doesn't go to sleep. So, short of leaving him to cry it out, what do I do to get him to sleep?

All advice gratefully received!

Have you tried a sling? And if the pram works, I would just keep doing that. I still haven't found the "Drowsy but awake" setting on my baby, I think it's a load of bollocks made up to taunt sleep-deprived mothers.

What age is he?

He's five months now (and I keep reading that six months is the key to having good sleep - eek!).

Thank you burrito - I completely agree that it's made up to taunt us! He loves his sling but doesn't sleep in it. I suppose I'm worried about when he has to go to nursery and not being able to settle himself.

I'm kind of on the team where if he's a good night time sleeper then I'd worry less about the day sleep

@thecatwiththesilveryfur oh my goodness! I can could have written this when my DD was 5 months!! She's now 14 months.

I too couldn't find the drowsy but awake button either! At 5 months it was all about 30 minute car naps ...three times a day! Sometimes only once!!! I remember getting the kettle filled up prior so as to not waste any more of my 30 min cuppa and feet up!!

Seriously I just had to go with it and then by around 9/10 month she started napping for longer. Now at 14 months she can nap for up to 3 hours!!

I still breastfeed to sleep and for naps but those early months are still a mystery on how to get them to sleep longer.

Hang in there. Swaddling helped as did black out blinds.

Oh God, mine (4.5 months) is still taking his day naps on top of me. As the 4mo hit, his naps are now 30min each, and he is feeding to sleep.
Night wakings are hit and miss, between 2 and 4 times.

Sorry no advice to offer, just venting!

Worried about the future of his naps and the BF to sleep dependency...

I could have written this about my DS when he was that age. It drove me insane and was super stressful, he's 12 months now and goes down in his cot for a full 2 hours a day. It got better when he got mobile and it just got better and better from there. It gets easier, keep doing what your doing and it'll improve.

Oh, thank you, thank you! I can't tell you what a relief those stories are! I feel like I'm second guessing everything and sleep seems so crucial to life that I worry I'm destroying his future life chances by not training him properly! (Why yes, I am a bit sleep deprived, what made you ask ...?)

to everyone for advice and to everyone trying to get sleep right!

Between 3 and 5 months my DS only napped for 20-30 minutes at a time and it was a nightmare. He always fell to sleep being rocked or fed to sleep and by the time I’d waited a good 10 mins before putting him down I had no time to get anything done. At around 6 months he randomly started having longer naps and the very occasional self settle. I did absolutely nothing different, it just happened. I think it might have been partly to do with him being more active, attempting to roll around and constantly kicking those little legs. Hang in there!

Drowsy but awake is bullshit. Babies get tired and want what they usually use to go to sleep - mum and milk. That equals cranky. I don't know where you get peaceful drowsy babies happy to be plonked in a cold cot!

But but but - sleep is a lot about associations. They associate milk and mum with sleep like you associate a duvet and pillow with sleep. Keep putting them in the cot and they'll eventually associate it with sleep.

We did sleep training with dd and it was grand. At the right point, it's not about leaving your baby to cry for hours, it's about facilitating them learning how to get themselves to sleep with the result that there's much less crying, because they don't get distressed if they wake and you're not there.

Don't worry about missing some crucial point. It'll happen in good time.

@7Worfs Hi - don't worry about the feed to sleep decency. My DD is 14 months and sleeps well at night now and has good day naps. It took a while!! Don't get me wrong, but I'm still breastfeeding to sleep and found it really helped get us to where we are now...
Yes she depends on me but it settles her really quickly and she sleeps really well.

Hang in there! You're doing great.

That should say dependence 😊

Thanks, @Bronnie2018
I hope for the best, I’ll have to wean before I return to work, but that’s some months from now.

My DS goes in stages, he was really bad at 5months but then got a lot better. He's bad again now but that's sleep regression.

I had to enforce quiet time before his nap of reading books and singing in a quiet bedroom that was darker. Then I would feed until asleep and plonk him in the cot. Enough so he'd stir and I could run his back and get him back to sleep. Over time he got the sleep association of the cot and I could put him down drowsy but awake. Bare in mind at first they need to be very drowsy as in you think that he's asleep but when you put him down he figgetts to get comfy. There's some trial and error involved in finding the sweet spot. Once it's working next step is to put them down more and more awake. Which is wbir I am really struggling with! Enjoy!

Mine is 10.5 months and now does two half hours a day. She’s always been a half hour girl and while it did make her overtired at your LO’s age, at about 7 months she kind of grew into her nap routine and now thrives on it!

She naps in a buggy only, with Snoozeshade over and her white noise toy on....yet at nursery and at night she self settles no issue. Her night time sleep is fine so my theory is if it ain’t broke....

So glad I found this thread! My 6 month old LO sleeps 11 hrs at night but will mostly only nap during the day in the pram, car or on me.i totally agree this drowsy but awake stage is a load of rubbish. I’m hoping in time she will get better at napping during the day but I am thankful she sleeps at night which is a lot more that other babies are doing at this age! Glad to read others comments on this & fingers-crossed her napping will improve x