Childminder/relatives let baby sleep all day

[Blindspot82]

So frustrated! Have just gone back to work after 10 months off with baby. Worked really hard to get him into a good sleep routine - a little morning nap for 30 mins and a lunchtime snooze at 12.30 - 2pm. He was doing so well! Bed at 7pm and slept through until 6am! Cue childminder and well-meaning relatives (husband's parents) who have him on Wed and Thurs each week respectively. They just let him sleep pretty much all day, as much as he wants, when he wants. Sometimes up to three hours at lunchtime. As a result, he's not tired come bedtime and I now have to battle with him to get him down. Feel really pissed off and upset. Have told childminder and relatives what his normal routine is, they just won't bloody stick to it! I get that it's easier for them if he sleeps in the day but don't think that's very fair of them when I've put a lot of groundwork in. Suppose I should have posted on the AIBU board but would it be out of order to speak to them about it and kindly ask that they stop letting him sleep all fucking day lol

As for the childminder, I’d be shocked if an experienced CM thought it was fine to let a 10 month old sleep all day instead of socialising with the other mindees and playing.

I'd have been horrified if the our childminder had been routinely waking DS up 'to socialise' when he was 10 months, or even now - but he's like peachgreen's DD, he is awful if woken from a nap and I never see a correlation between his naps and his nighttime sleep (which is generally very good). I also don't like the idea of keeping a clearly tired baby awake so they'll sleep better at night, but again that's probably because DS is so unhappy when he's tired that it would feel cruel - I know not all babies/toddlers are like that

Worked really hard to get him into a good sleep routine - a little morning nap for 30 mins and a lunchtime snooze at 12.30 - 2pm.

That’s very precise - but as baby’s grow up their napping needs change and they’re not going to stick to a routine forever. I don’t wake my DS up unless it’s a bit late for a nap or we’ve got somewhere to be. Besides, how do you stick to that ‘routine’ where you’re out and about? He’ll probably drop that morning nap soon anyway and need a longer nap in the afternoon - and how long can depend on how busy he’s been and how tired out he is. Spending time with different people and doing different things may well make him need a longer sleep - my DS slept for just over three hours after I took him swimming for the first time!

Use a nursery, they have set naptimes. Ours are the same as the ones you’ve got him into

DC1’s nursery lied about nap times! IME based on the four nurseries we used, and CMs, the latter were much better for tiny DC.

Have you ever tried to deal with a 10 month old who is crabbit and crying, because they are not allowed to sleep, with potentially 5 other children to look after?
I would love to know how they are managing to get a 10 month old child to sleep ALL Day! What are they doing drugging him?
Also if a 10 month old child needs to sleep, then they need to sleep. Itt's cruel to try and keep them awake, just so you can have an easier time of it at night, and get him asleep for 7pm. Basically what you are saying is, you want the cm and grandparents to put up with a potentially crabbit baby, so you can get him down to bed nice and early and don't have to put up with him

I think children should be allowed to sleep as long as they want and don’t think it actually benefits them in any way to be woken up from a nap
Maybe your free childcare believe this too

Childminders are unlikely to keep a baby awake or restrict their sleep as it's considered poor practice. No one would wake a 10 month old during an Ofsted inspection so they shouldn't be doing it any time.

10 months is very very young for such little sleep. I'm a childminder and I'm led by the child usually. What time is he actually going to sleep at night? It may just take a little time to get into a routine when he's going to childcare instead of being home with mum. They usually need more sleep when they've just started as it's quite a lot of stimulation and I'm sure you wouldn't want little one upset when still settling. I would just give it a few weeks and see if he settles into a new routine

@SpaceDinosaur to be fair a good childminder won't be comfortable with waking them after 90m or whatever either and ofsted wouldn't approve either. I usually advise giving it a bit of time as they will usually get into their own routine at home after childcare but if it still causes very late nights I might be comfortable to make a bit more noise after they've slept a while and make sure they wake up.