Six month old - hardly naps and wakes hourly at night

[physicskate]

Help!!!

She has two, maybe three naps a day. Each is 20-45 mins. She will immediately wake if I stop rocking her. She's never been a good napper. She Will. Not. Nap in her cot. Only in her bouncer, the car or our bed.

Our night sleeping went to shit about three weeks ago. It was fantastic! She slept from about half 7-5. Then would wake for a feed and sleep again until 7ish. Naps were rubbish.

Now she goes down (sometimes self-settles, sometimes not) same time (730ish), occasionally fights it. Then she starts waking anywhere from 830-10. And then every hour (we got a two hour stretch last night from 430am!!).

As I breastfeed and it's the only thing that seems to settle her at night, so dh can't help.

I'm not really functioning... I'm irritable and starting to become tearful. I worry about driving.

We've started weaning in the last week, starting with baby rice and now veg.

If someone could guarantee that if I switched to formula, we'd get longer stretches, it would have happened long ago.

She's just woken from her 5 minute nap, despite consistent rocking!!!

Her eyes are red. She rubs her face and ears. She yawns a lot. If I'm tired, she must be absolutely knackered!!

I thought we had the four month sleep regression a bit before 4 months for 10 days, but maybe this is it and it's late??

Phew. She fell asleep again. Sorry for the long (desperate) post. Trying to avoid dripfeeding!!

Firstly, you have my sympathies, my first born was a dreadful sleeper. Here's what I learned which may or may not help you.

You won't get a good night sleep without good day sleeps so you need to fix them first. Baby is waking at night as overtired. How long is baby awake between sleeps? Are you mindful of maximum awake times for age (1.5-2.5 hours at 6 months)? What's the set up in baby's room? Dark, white noise etc, what have you tried? Have you tried hands on settling techniques when baby stirs? Do you feed baby to sleep or rock every time? What happens if you leave them for a few minutes?

That's a lot of questions, all things to think about.

One thing with babies sleep, it's constantly changing, so keep the faith it'll likely improve

Sorry should have as

Argh. Should have said, day naps need to be 1-2 hours at this age ideally. If you feed baby back to sleep every time they wake at night they'll continue to wake to feed, it's a vicious cycle

Thanks for responding!!

If I just rub her tummy or sing (or both) or try to settle her at all, she gets more worked up.

Her bedtime routine seems to work really well, so I partially repeat it in the day. Naps: She had a small fan on (pointing at the ceiling I) for white noise. I start by putting her in her sleeping bag, then we have book. Then boob. Then bed. I give up very easily, but she isn't sleeping if she gets more wound up. So after a few mins of shushing, patting, singing, etc... (not at the same time obvs!!) I abandon and retreat back to rocking or taking her into our bed because our room is darker (blackout stickers for her windows arrived today and dh is putting them up tomorrow). I start nap times about an hour and a half after her previous waking. If our dark room doesn't work, I offer boob (again). If that doesn't work, I retreat to rocking her in her bouncer.

Her day feeding has become worse as a result of all this night feeding. I can't seem to crack this vicious circle!!

Sorry if I repeat, blather on - I swear I'm now t usually this incoherent!!

And she just woke up again... so that's what, 30 mins from the last time? Not terrible for her...

I find o generally spend more time trying to get her to sleep than the amount of time she sleeps for. I know it's not right, but everything I try hasn't helped...

But there probably isn't a magic cure-all!!

Bedtime here (not UK) so I'll reply properly tomorrow. First thing that stands out is to separate boob from sleep. It's not a helpful association and will be contributing to the waking. Eat, play, sleep is what's recommended.

I started by still feeding before naps but downstairs before taking baby to bed (eventually no boob before bed!) Then into swaddle etc and into bed. Sit next to cot, one hand firmly on babies middle, one on mattress and pat mattress heartbeat rhythm whilst shushing. And persevere. At first it will take a LONG time. If baby wakes before 45 mins (one sleep cycle) try to resettle.

Long term, withdraw assistance until baby can go into bed and self settle.

Sorry, rushed reply, will come back

You said "If someone could guarantee that if I switched to formula, we'd get longer stretches, it would have happened long ago."

Have you tried this yet? It worked for me. I had a BF baby who only napped during the day for short bursts if being held and rocked.

At night we co slept which is something I never thought I would do, but it was the ONLY way to get any sleep. It was hell on earth and I had bad PND.

At 6 months I gave in and started formula - instantly a totally different baby who started having proper naps in their cot, it was fucking liberating not having to hold them 24/7.

I would recommend giving it a go.

Have you tried stretching her awake times? An hour and a half is quite low - my DD is only three weeks older and is usually up about 2.5
-3 hours between naps now and has been for a few weeks. Is she showing tired cues and that's why you're trying to put her down after a shorter time? What happens if you leave it longer before starting nap time?

I was in the same situation.. would all asleep after breastfeed for 5 minutes... longest nap 30 minutes. Was then up all night. Changed to formula at 5 months and baby now has 2 long 2 hour naps and sleeps through.

Also it's not popular on MN but we stopped linking boob and sleep. She now gets her last feed downstairs at least 45 mins before bedtime. If she wakes before 2, she just gets resettled with other methods. After 2, she gets boob and that generally does her till 6.30ish.

Have you tried swaddling?

I had to switch as I had zero family help just me and partner ... I was so tired one day i nearly fell downstairs also I walked into a wall and got heart palpitations through tiredness and stress. I now have to live with the fact I stopped breastfeeding earlier than i expected to but at least I get some sleep now and baby is happy during awake time nor cranky and overtired

She shows tired signs most of the time. Can't focus her eyes, rubbing eyes/ ears, yawning. Also I want to make sure we don't miss that 'sweet spot' for sleep.

My worry about switching to formula is that I'd lose my supply and it still wouldn't help.

I'd LOVE to break the feed/sleep association, and it generally is my last resort (in the day. At night I just don't have the patience anymore)). I generally start by putting her down sleepy but awake. The only time this actually works is as bedtime. About 80% of the time at night she goes down awake but sleepy with no fuss. The rest of the time it's a nightmare.

And I'm not willing to just let her cry.

I would try breastfeed , play. Sleep and then during night would she take a dummy ? Then if wouldn't settle you could feed

She goes in her sleeping bag. Midwives at the hospital put me off swaddling because of the risk of overheAting? I have tried it a few times and she just thrashes in it and gets more upset.

We've tried to get her to like dummies. She hates them with a passion.

We did the stay and support method but there was some crying. But they're not 'left' to cry as you're there soothing the whole time. Unfortunately I think some babies just do cry at bedtimes or when learning a new skill, no matter how gentle you are. Sometimes it's worth a few evenings of crying for a happier baby and mum the rest of the time IMO but I know others will disagree. But I know sleep deprivation makes me unsafe to drive and a shitty parent and human being generally, so a few unpleasant evenings with some crying was by far the lesser of two evils for us and she now sleeps generally very well, although she's always been a decent sleeper.

Hope you find something that works for you

She's a bit old for swaddling, presuming she can turn over now. It's not recommended when babies can roll as they can get trapped if their arms aren't free.

My ds was like this at 6 months. Was awful but it didn't last!
Up the food, giving porridge before bed and two other meals a day

My DS is 7 months and sleep has gone to absolute shit since starting solids. No advice just solidarity!

Can't you just BF and top her up with a bottle? If it works then you can either continue doing that or knock BF on the head?

Sleep training could help a lot. This sounds a lot like our dd, started one day after 4 months and went on for months. You're not leaving them to cry you are soothing them at intervals. Read the Dr ferber method. I don't know where we'd be without it .

My solution has been cosleeping and I've totally given up on naps, but if they happen they happen, usually on pram, arms or sling. I think books give false expectations about what to expect from babies, at least my baby. I felt better once I gave up trying to get her to do something she was "supposed to" do. She sleeps well when she is next to me, and she feeds while I'm asleep. When she isn't she continues to wake regularly. This has been the situation from about 4 months to 9 months and it's fine as a solution for us!

May you find a solution that works for you, whatever that may be! Good luck!

xtinak we have the same baby, she's refused to read the books, my happiness increased a billionfold when I did the same as you. We do all sling and pram naps, occasionally a nap lap on the rare occasion she feeds to sleep in the day. Feed to sleep at night, cosleep, it'll work itself out eventually.

(After colic from weeks 4-14 where she just passed out from screaming, I'm not giving up feed to sleep! It was hard-won!)