Is she sleep walking? Is it night terrors?

[Mumoftwo12345]

Our 3 year old had a full blown NT in March. I knew exactly what it was as she had a temperature which triggered it, was glazed eyed, staring at 'something' in the room and screaming bloody murder.
Since then we have had episodes but im not fully convinced they are NT or just horrendous tantrums.
She will wake and either cry in her bed or come into our room, if she comes into our room I cba and just pull her into bed. Job done...but now it's a habit of course. Yay me!
She will not have her dad at all during the night, screams until he gets out of bed and the poor sod goes on the sofa downstairs.
If I go to her in her room when she's crying, if I'm lucky she will settle by just having blankets pulled back on her. If not, well it's a shit show tbh.
Screaming, kicking, thrashing, hitting me, telling me to get away, she doesn't want me, but if i back away she screams louder. She will kick the walls so hard I'm worried she's going to break a bone so I have to restrain her. At this point DD1 is woken and terrified because in all honesty it looks like an exorcism. So then I have two crying children, neither of whom want their dad!
Last night DD2 woke at 1am and flounced into our room, desperate to break this habit I told her I was taking her back to bed which erupted in another said exorcism. This time she was on her hands and knees racing around my room in terror shouting at me to go away, she doesn't want me. Etc etc.
I've been in tears because it looks so bloody awful, she's such a happy sweet girl during the day, loves her mummy and daddy but at night it's like we're monsters to her.
I'm not sure if it's still a kind of NT? Could she be sleep walking into our room and not fully aware of what's happening? Do I seek a gp's advice?
We try to ask her but of course she's not fully understanding the questions and just says 'yes or no' on any given day.
Sorry this is so long, if any of it is familiar to anyone I'd love an insight, or just some sympathy! I'm so bloody tired!!

This exact same thing happened to us with our DD3 a few months ago. I did exactly as you did in the middle of the night and she got into bed with us. She was having about 1 a month only wanted me but didn't want me as well if that makes sense? She would also wet herself as needed the toilet but couldn't/wouldn't go. It's exactly as you described. We haven't had one in a few months but I would just sit in room with her or wherever she was. It could take 10 mins or a couple of hours to settle. Sorry if this isn't much help as I don't really have any advice but know how you feel.

Thanks for the reply. It's horrifying isn't it? I feel like if anyone heard her they would think we were abusing her!
It's happening more frequently now, I think she's so overtired but absolutely will not nap in the day unless it's in the car. I'm tempted to take her out for long drive tomorrow just to get her to take one.
She's back at preschool now too which I assume tires her out more.
She had the same episode on Thursday night but it was before she'd even gone to bed which makes me think it's tantrums but I'm at a complete loss as to what to do.

To be honest what you describe does not sound like the night terrors or sleep walking episodes either of my children had. However I am not an expert so your lo might have a different kind. My DS were definitely not 'present' when having them. They would not respond to anything you said or did and it made no difference who was there or where they were. We would comfort them but more for our own emotions rather than the impact it had.

In your shoes I might treat it as a tantrum but be mindful that it maybe a NT. So do some ground work on making the bed a special place, trying some 'magic dust' for a good nights sleep. Trying some special bedtime bath stuff. At night I find it bloody hard work to be patient, firm and consistent as I am usually exhausted but I would tell your lo that she sleeps in her own bed. You could do the calmly taking her back every time she gets out but I find that exhausting so I would probably sit with her and just ignore the behaviour.

If it is a night terror it won't make a difference what you do anyway. My ds had more night terrors when over tired but other than that they just grew out of them.

Thank you. I remember the terror she had back in March and this is nothing like that, you are right she didn't recognise us or even interact with us, whereas this time she's fully looking at us and being very vocal about how she doesn't want us anywhere near her.
Sounds like i do need to work on her bedtime routine better, like the magic dust idea. It was so much easier with one! I remember my first had such a brilliant routine, but now there's two it's slipped into chaos, and time races away after school/dinner.

I find bedtime/ night time issues that hardest to deal with as I am so tired. I personally find having a 'plan of action' really helps as it focuses my mind when all I want to do is relax on the sofa or sleep in my own bed (with just DH ideally!!!)

Good luck!

Really appreciate the advice/sympathy! I normally keep a cool head but feeling like I'm back at newborn tired stage is taking its toll.
Hopefully working on a routine will help, it sounds so simple but we've just got into a funk of shipping one off to bed then the other, you forget the basics. Cheers.

Mine both had NT and 1 sleepwalks.

In all episodes, they have no idea Im there. With NT they scream and cry for me even though Im right there
They look through me and DS1 had a lovely line in puking during a NT.

Sleepwalking DS1 doesnt interact either, but is quite malleable and reasonably easy to get back into bed.

At no point have either of them expressed desire during a NT or sleepwalking (no refusing DH, demanding mummy etc....they saved that for the numerous other times a night they woke lol)

I used to have all kinds of night terrors and sleep walking as a child and do remember waking up confused, downstairs, being shouted at for what seemed like a tantrum.
My son also would have "night rages" rather than night terrors at that age. And was aware we were there but obviously angry about something in his dream.
Whatever the situation your DDs night issues can only be helped during the day. Is there something in particular she is anxious about? If not then try making some extra time for cuddles, stories, playing together during the day. She may be feeling anxious in general and it only comes out at night.
At night I'd just let her get straight into your bed. She just needs the reassurance. Or get in her bed with her (If you fit). It won't be for long. She will grow out of it when she feels less vulnerable.