Joining sleep cycles

[SecondTimer2019]

I'm stuck in 30 minute nap hell with my nearly 5 month old.

I have to bounce him to sleep. I put him down early. I put him down late. I catch the first yawn. I stretch him beyond the first yawn. I feed him before. I feed him after. He goes to sleep easily. He goes to sleep with difficulty. But. Every. Effing. Time. He. Sleeps. Thirty. Minutes.

I can usually resettle him but God help me if i try to put him back down: game over. So I end up standing up and holding him for the rest of the nap, which is never very long
He hasn't slept more than 50 mins in one go (during the day) since about 6 weeks.

Every single nap I give him practice at self settling but there is zero progress. I know he's still tired because when I give up and get him up to feed him he will doze for a while on the boob but never enough to actually get back to sleep.

I used to do all naps in the sling but have the same problem. Even in the car he only sleeps 30mins.

When will he learn to link sleep cycles? I don't see that there's much more I can do to help him. My first was similar but did occasionally surprise me with a 2hr nap. I worry this one is not getting enough restful sleep during the day.

Mine is the same, 30 minutes except for the occasional random boob doze. I don't worry it tbh (beyond being annoyed that 30 minutes is never quite enough time to read all of the internet do anything): if she needed more sleep she'd sleep longer, I reckon. Evolution isn't going to produce creatures who need sleep to develop but can't do it. I'm just banking on her naps getting longer as she gets more active.

Yesterday I could have written your post. I can literally predict the minute that DS wakes up and he will only ever nap for 30 mins at a time regardless of whether he is in the pram, car, crib or on me. This afternoon for the first time since a newborn he’s had a 2hr 30min nap! No idea why - I did nothing different at all. I’m assuming it will just be a one off. I don’t have any advice I’m afraid, people have told me that over time his naps will lengthen. Not sure if this is true but we shall see!

I came here to post the same and to ask what I can do to help him link his cycles, but we are the same as you so I guess it just time. Joe will sleep for longer in the car though. I wouldn't mind if he also through but he's still up for 2 feeds a night 😭

@MissSmith80 Swap you for my hourly waker…

Oh god, mine is basically awake from 3am onwards. I would also take two night feeds!

Thanks everyone. I think sometimes you just need to hear you're not alone.

And hi again, @burritofan!! Every time I read your posts I want a burrito...

::waves to SecondTimer:: I see we still have the same baby! To be honest, endless burritos are all that's keeping me sane...

You're right that it's nice to hear other people are having the same issues, it makes me realise it's the baby who's bad at sleeping, not me being bad at getting her to sleep.

This was my little girl from 3 months old. I stressed and stressed and tried every trick in the book to make her nap longer. One day I just accepted it and decided I’d let her sleep her first sleep cycle while I ate and done a few bits round the house then just as she was waking I’d rock and cuddle her until she fell asleep and get on the couch or in bed holding her and watched some telly or messed about on my phone. I use to hate it when people said relax and enjoy the cuddles, now I’ve got a 13 month old who won’t cuddle at all and would never sleep in my arms and I miss it so much. Life became easier when I just accepted she’d only nap one sleep cycle. At about 8 months that nap went to about an hour and now it’s an hour and a half

Thanks @SS1987. This sounds very similar to what I do, although I tend to have to keep some movement. I seem to remember things improved with my first when he dropped the third nap around 8/9 months, so maybe if I just hang in there...

I've started to make an effort this week to get out of the house and go to some baby groups even if his naps are rubbish and it's making me feel much better already 😊

My eldest did 30 minute naps till she was 8 months. Drove me nuts! I just had to keep putting her down often - she had way more naps than the internet said she should, but it worked okay (although I had no time to get anything done!) Then eventually she did start doing longer. Daytimes felt like constantly fire-fighting to ward off tiredness!