15 week old sleep getting worse - constantly fighting it

[Mikewazowskismrs]

Hi all, looking for some thoughts/reassurance/advice in regards to my 15 week old sleep.

For the last few weeks it has got progressively harder to put him down to sleep at night as he constantly fights it and wakes himself up. He will also only nap in the buggy during the day and sometimes fights this but getting him into his cot for naps is a problem for another day.

At night he used to fall asleep whilst being fed (I bf but he sometimes got a bottle of ebm or formula for his bedtime feed if my partner was here). We could then put him down and enjoy an hour or two before bed.

In the last few weeks this has all went tits up! I feel as though his little brain is in overdrive since 12 week growth spurt as he can be falling asleep but next minute his eyes ping open. He can’t self settle and needs rocked to sleep but even though he is exhausted he will often physically fight it and thrash about in our arms. After a couple of hours he tires himself out and falls asleep.

This takes about 2.5/3 hours every night.

He gets good naps during the days and I don’t knowingly let him get overtired.

He did begin leap 4 a few days ago so that may play a part but I’m wondering if anyone shed any light or similar as it’s really wearing us down

P.s this started roughly when I cut out dairy from my diet just over 3 weeks ago to help some tummy issues he has with trapped wind but not sure if that’s just a coincidence”e.

Hv thinks he may have silent reflux and after my dairy free trial will see about medication but it is only the last few weeks he has been this way

Not sure about dairy/reflux issue, but my DD did very similar at that age. I think it was the 4 month sleep regression.

It was exhausting and I thought it would never end, but it did. Now she is nearly 3 and I strangely miss those hours spent rocking and singing and cuddling. I am 32 weeks pregnant with no2 now though, so I am sure I will be back in your position soon!

Sorry I can’t be any more help, just keep telling yourself “this too shall pass”.

Thanks major I am clinging on to that in the hope it’s the regression.

I wouldn’t mind rocking and cuddling him but now, even though he looks like he’s in a deep sleep, will just suddenly thrash about trying to fight it for whatever reason and this repeats constantly until he eventually falls asleep.

Hopefully your new little one won’t give you the same troubles 🤞🏼

Hi op. Ours was exactly the same, sorry but nothing worked until we sleep trained at 7 and a half months. ( ferber method, book was very good). Much better since, had to do it once or twice since. There was far less crying in the two nights it took to train than there was trying to get her asleep before then

Hey, definitely sounds like sleep regression we are just coming towards the end of it (17 weeks). Honestly hang in there, stick to your bedtime routine as much as you can (if you have one) and keep persisting. My lo slept through for the first time ever last night, after weeks of fighting sleep/day time naps and overall being quite fussy when awake. I honestly wanted to rip my hair out. Has your lo started rolling yet? I found all this fussiness led to rolling both ways, and think we hit a growth spurt whilst going through regression. I ended up feeding him loads in the day when I could, then a big feed before putting him down and if he gets fussy I would leave him in his bed but if he really cried go comfort him.but otherwise try to let him self settled. To be honest you just wing it through this period, there is no predictability. Good luck, get some rest when you can but this will soon pass!

Also if you aren't already, whenever your lo looks tired/ready for a nap I usually feed in dark room, wait until he is calm and then lay him down. Seems to work, even if mine does lay awake for a bit before he eventually drifts off. But if you are finding rocking/motion of the pram works do what whatever you can do, don't worry about creating habits right now they can be sorted later on down the line x

@whatashitshow1 thanks for sharing your experience, I’m praying for a miracle and that we’ll not have to sleep train but I very much doubt that 😂

@CourtneyB123 I really hope it is, don’t know how I’ll cope if it’s not 🙈 my partner often has to work away and I’m dreading hearing those words from him!

Was your wee one the same at night? We do have a bedtime routine but not always at same time depending on his naps and feeds as I feed on demand so they vary. We’re going to try and put him down a bit later tonight but agreed, we are totally winging it !

He’s not rolling yet but other things he wasn’t great at have improved drastically (tummy time, grabbing toys) so I’m hoping it’s all part of the growth spurt.

He won’t self settle for the life of him but I’ll maybe just stay near him tonight althoigh he’ll probably still scream!

Oh yeah 100% he was the same at night, really fussy up pretty much every other hour it was a struggle! I can totally sympathise honestly it's hard work. Well I reckon he is probably going through mental development learning new skills by the sounds of things that goes hand in hand with sleep regression. Haha honestly mine didnt self settle until this week, he still struggles now but I let him lay down and when he fusses go back in comfort for a few minutes and just keep doing it until he eventually drifts off, takes a lot of patience and persistence but I promise you, you'll get to the end of it 🙈 we just had 16 week jabs and he has been really unsettled again and is running a temperature so happy days

Are you still room sharing? I've only just the last few days begrudgingly moved our boy to his own room so we could all get some sleep and he has slept so well its incredible the complete change in him! Good luck and just remember this too shall pass haha!!

Hope tonight's going better for you, let us know how you're getting on. I second too what Courtney says...don't worry about habits, just do what you need to get through this, if you don't want to train or it doesn't work, bed share, putting little one in their own room, whatever gets you through until it passes. I'm not sure what we would have done without bed sharing actually, until we trained.

@CourtneyB123 that’s great about the selfsettling, has he just started doing it himself then really ? Oh god we have our jags on Tuesday, I really hope they don’t make things worse or I may end up in a nut house 😂

We are still room sharing he’s in a snuz pod but he’s quite long so not sure he’ll last in jt till 6 months.

@whatashitshow1

That’s great he’s sleeping well in his own room, hope your relishing your much deserved peace!

@whatashitshow1

Thank you for asking.

Well it was the same again last night he was absolutely shattered when bedtime came (had good naps through day & didn’t let him get overtired) but as soon as we try to put him down all he’ll breaks loose.

I lay with him first holding his hand and rubbing his head singing to him but he was still crying which turned into a scream.

When I picked him up and rocked him he would be asleep then suddenly jerk out of it, doing hit thrashing, arms flailing everywhere so my partner took a shot and after some time managed to get him to sleep.

I was in tears exhausted with it all

Just up for his first feed which isn’t too bad , just absolutely dreading doing this tonight again already!

Sorry @whatashitshow1 I didn’t mean to tag you the first time in the previous comment the bit about own room was to courtney

How did your night go? Also do you try dream feeding? Okay so what I was doing originally when this regression started was out for a walk in the pram, but then he got to a point he didnt sleep in the pram so I moved him out of moses basket into a travel cot in our room to see if he needed more space, he was settling a little better but was doing the same as your little boy thrashing about, slamming his feet down on the mattress and it was just keeping all of us up. This happened for about 3 days and I couldn't take anymore so I decided to put him in his cot for one night in his own room and he slept like a log and still is. I usually bath him around the same time every night 5ish he has a feed either before or after then lay him down for the night. Dont get me wrong, sometimes it takes him half hour or so to settle, I keep popping in every now and then he can get wingey but I just leave him unless he is screaming and it does work. For nap times in the day as soon as he is looking tired I try and put him down because when he gets over tired we have a major battle on our hands😂 honestly though this took a good few weeks of persistence, sticking to the same thing every night and he is getting there now. Just keep doing whatever you're doing, you're doing a brilliant job! I promise he will settle down, he could possibly started teething also so just throws more spanner in the works. Try and get plenty of rest where you can just through this period so save your sanity Haha!!

Also mine picked up a feed again at 3am which was a total nightmare because I found that he wasnt actually hungry, he was just getting up at that time because he knew I think that I was coming Haha! So we had the job of trying to break that habit too, because really babies of their age should be able to go at least 5 hours now without a feed in the night. God I could go on, I totally feel your stress op!

@CourtneyB123 sorry for the late reply been a busy couple of nights!

During the night has been ok albeit he’s up for feeds (but then goes back down) although I keep having to bring him into bed about 4/5am as he gets unsettled.

That’s amazing I bet you wished you tried him in the cot earlier!

Do you breastfed? I find it hard to put him down at the same time every night as his feeds and naps vary from day to day but always follow same bedtime routine.

I do the same for naps but he will only nap in his buggy just now if I try to put him in his cot/crib he goes mental so we’ll work on that properly once this passes (if it does!)

He was doing the same again tonight but thankfully went to sleep quicker.

I sometimes dream feed again it just depends on timings and when the last feed was.
The last couple of nights he’s sleot 4 hours before needing a feed but I just can’t see him getting to 5, when he wakes in the night and I pick him up, 9 times out of 10 he’s rooting for the boob, he is such a grubber !

Thank you for all your advice and info though I really appreciate it