3 week old

[AngC273]

Hi, I'm wondering if someone could help me please?
My 3 week old sleep terribly and takes ages to get to sleep.
She will only fall sleep on me or hubby. We then have to leave her about half hour before we put her in her Moses. She will then wake up after an hour still tired and grizzly but will continue to fight sleep!
Her Moses is in living room with us during the day.
She is FF and loves her milk. She had about 4-5 oz every 2 hours.
At bedtime, I do get her to sleep in her nursery where it's dark and quiet.
She will eventually go down but during the night she wakes every 1-2 hours.
The Moses is next to our bed.
I don't want to co-sleep with her as my hubby smokes (away from her and changes clothes)
She hates being swaddled! I just would like her to sleep a bit more. She is so overtired!
I am suffering with PND so everything seems twice as hard!
I let her sleep on us as she is still so tiny, I figure I need to give her what she needs!
Any suggestions as to what I can try next please?

Sorry, waking that frequently overnight sounds pretty normal at 3 weeks, as does wanting to sleep on you or falling asleep on you or while feeding. To help her settle in the Moses basket, you can warm the mattress first with a hot water bottle (take it out before putting the baby in!) and wearing the sheet under your top during the day so it smells comforting to her. Neither of these tricks worked for me.

You might get lucky and start getting longer and longer stretches that then turn into sleeping through. Or you might start getting used to the longer stretches and then the 12-week growth spurt hits… then the 12- and 16-weeks vaccinations… then the four-month sleep regression… then teething… ::glares at DD who succumbs to every no-sleep trick in the book::

Could your husband sleep in the spare room and you co-sleep? My DD still wakes every 1-2 hours but settles v quickly (except for 4am babbling practice) in bed with me. And it's cosy. Otherwise try white noise, blackout blinds, very strong coffee, a hot shower each morning and fresh air (those last ones are for you).

I'm sorry, but that sounds entirely normal for a 3 week old. It will get better! Try and take care of yourself as well as you can, but it's hard with no sleep.

Hi, you sound just like me! My LO is 3 weeks tomorrow and he also only sleeps 1/2 hours in his crib at night. He wakes up almost hourly for a small feed, sleeps then wakes up again. Like others have said, this is pretty normal given their age but doesn’t make it any easier. I tend to put him down about 15 mins after falling asleep, he will moan, sleep then wake up anywhere from 40 mins to 2 hours. Occasionally, I will keep him on me, but he still will wake. It’s just how it is really. Me and OH take in turns in feeding him and I found this helps. From 8-12 Oh let’s me sleep. Even though I’m half awake, it prepares me for the whole night. At 6am OH takes over again and I prep for the day ahead. So finding a routine that works for you both is important.

I’m not there yet, but everyone tells me it does get better, they do sleep more and it passes quick. Some days and nights will feel longer than others but it will improve. We’ve made it 3 weeks already! Don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t have much advice to offer, just letting you know I’m in the same boat as you. Wishing you all the best and for longer sleep 😅

Your baby should still be inside you. Read up on the fourth trimester.

As the others have said it’s completely normal at that age!

My DS is 6wks. Some nights he’s started going 2 hours between feeds. Sometimes he’ll settle in his snuzpod, otherwise we co-sleep. during the day he won’t sleep anywhere other than on me and DH.

The fourth trimester is very interesting to read

The whole fourth trimester thing that other people are saying is definitely true , but the fact is the baby isn't still inside of you- they're here and keeping you awake at night. This is totally normal and expected, but doesn't make it any easier and those first few weeks/ months are so difficult.

As you are formula feeding, you and your husband take turns being on baby duty in the night? I'm assuming he's back at work already? If this is the case, could you find some pattern that would work for you both?We took turns when ours was newborn and it definitely saved my mental health. Maybe he could look after baby and take care of any wake ups or feeds until say 1am and you can go to sleep in another room/ on the sofa until then and then swap ?

These early weeks are tough and I'm sure you will find a way of making them work.

@AngC273 sounds normal or my normal ... I remember it well.

It’s really hard and I was stuffing with pnd too which makes it a bit harder the sleep deprivation I am sure makes the pnd worse.

Check she is t suffering with wind it’s prob normal 3 week old behaviour but me and do had it for 3 months ... silent reflux and wind where part of the problem ... if she sounds pained in her cry’s and rubbing back while
Laying down helps try infracol before a feed to help get wind up.

Split the night ... one of us would sleep downstairs with baby half the night and the. Swap around so both of us got sleep when she went back to work I would go
To bed at 7pm get up at 9pm while he had baby do the night and then he would cover me 4 am to 7am ... on the weekends we switched it the other way around ( except he slept in longer as we had no where to
Go ) it helped massively ( or if you have a spare room )

Watch as much tv as you want if you are not
Able to sleep newborns don’t care Netflix binge time and hurrah you can drink coffee too!

I was combo feeding at first but when I gave it up the bliss of caffeine !!

It’s a really tough time though weirdly I have a 9 month old and I look back on it with rose tinted glasses as I am over the for the most part ( luckily ) and sleep is more of a friend ... at the time I wondered what I had done .

Just keep going it does get better just try all the methods until you find one that works x x

Thanks for all of your help & advice. Bubs is now just over 5 weeks and her sleep as got worse. She sleeps on average about 6-7 hours every 24 hours. She literally wakes after 20 mins and then takes ages to get back to sleep!
I'm pretty sure she has reflux and give her infacol but nothing I try seems to work!
I am Alison suffering with PND so re lack of sleep is not helping my recovery.
My OH can do some of the night feeds but he works a mix of day and night shifts which are 12 hours, so he needs his sleep.
However when he is off shift he expects me to eat dinner with him at 7.30 and then go to bed at 10 like we used to.
He doesn't understand that sometimes I just want to sleep at 8pm if I have the chance.

What your husband expects here is a bit unfair on you. Your baby is still at the age of ‘you sleep when they sleep’. If you can get a couple of hours at 8pm, go for it!

Lovely my son is nine months and sometimes hubby still has to entertain himself at night 😂

Take your bub to the doctor or speak to health visitor about your concerns, you could perhaps try changing formula if she is throwing up a lot after ? Or she may have silent reflux ( acid come up in back of the throat ? ) gripe water 30 mins after milk can help, and holding baby at an angle
For 30 mins after each feed in arms ( that’s roughly how long it sometimes worked in the early days he is now good
To go down after 10 mins ) or get a sling so you can potter while you do the upright time? ( potter more like try not to pass out )

If hubby has beans to stay up until 10 pm he can keep baby down with him until then you go to bed after dinner and grab a couple of hours.

It is such a hard time but every 20
Mins is a killer and your not wrong to check with a professional if there is anything else they suggest? Gaviscon or a special milk may help encase it’s allergy’s

Your doing an amazing job just one day at a time is all you can do.

And you and your husband are not going to be anything other than a tag team for your baby for a while ... it eases up but your sleep is so important it makes the day so much more better x x big hugs x x

However when he is off shift he expects me to eat dinner with him at 7.30 and then go to bed at 10 like we used to.
He doesn't understand that sometimes I just want to sleep at 8pm if I have the chance

In MN parlance you don't have a baby problem, you have a DH problem. My daughter is almost 5 months and I go to bed with her at 7pm every night; partly as she won't settle otherwise, partly to survive the 8,000 wake-ups. My DP's take on this is "Woohoo, I can listen to obscure records all evening!" It's for such a short time; yes I miss my evenings and don't quite know how I'm going to get them back, but in the grand scheme of life will I really care about a few missed dinners with DP?

I would do whatever it takes to survive the poor sleep – we're cosleeping – and talk to your DH. If he can't understand it, don't hesitate to wake him up every single time the baby wakes. Forget about his work and shifts, show him what real sleep deprivation is. Wake him up. Keep him awake until the baby settles. Again and again.