Night feeding toddler

[HappyHen17]

Hi, I'm in a bit of a desperate situation-or at least that's how it feels-our son is 20m old and has been co-sleeping and breastfeeding to sleep and as he wants in the night until now. However, I've found out that I'm pregnant and due in April plus I'm doing full time degree so I need my sleep and I need to stop feeding as I won't be able to feed both at night and function.
I've been trying for the last few nights to soothe him back to sleep when he wakes with cuddles, offering water, singing, stroking but he screams, hits and makes himself sick with hysteria until the point (2hrs later) that I relent and bring him in bed.
My husband has tried to help but he does a lot of night shifts so it really falls to me. I'm a sobbing mess and I know I've created this problem and made things difficult for my son but it was done out of love, please has anyone got advice on what I can do? I just feel so alone in all of this and like I'm failing him 😢

I weaned at 18m, was working shifts from 8m and would work all day and feed all night...pretty exhausting stage. He seemed to ramp up the feeds at that stage as if he knew I was getting ready to wean so I just decided enough was enough. I had a full busy exciting day for him so he didnt feed then he had his first sleepover at grannies and when I got him the next day we kept busy all day so he never fed again. That second day was difficult because I was engorged and desperate to feed! The next night I slept in a double bed with him (thick pjs so he couldn't access easily) and he woke up 4 times, had a sip of water and a cuddle and went straight back down and has slept though ever since (now 2.5).

I personally had a very boob obsessed little boy and cutting down feeds just didnt work, I had to be physically away from him for that first 12 hour gap. Can you give him to a grandparent for a sleepover or can you head to a hotel for a night and get a rest and look after yourself? Just be very very cautious if going cold turkey while pregnant that you dont get mastitis, pump for comfort if you need to and check temp regularly.

Watching and wishing you well. I'm in a very similar situation with my 20 month old. He's always been a rubbish sleeper... but he got loads better for a few months and I thought we'd cracked it - nope, he's now getting progressively worse again and it's exhausting. He goes to sleep fine at bedtime in his cot - but wakes by 12 and is in with me. I just can't seem to re-settle him without co sleeping and breastfeeding, which I'm desperate to give up.

Currently also battling him to nap in his cot, rather than next to me again n bed, so it feels like everything is a miserable fight at the moment

Night weaned at 21mo. Very gently as I can't bear DS crying at all. DH doing overnight didn't work as crying and I pulled the plug by 11 the one night it was tried.

Read 'loving comfort, a toddler weaning story' with him for quite a long time, talked about how Jack stopped having milk at night then gradually reduced how long feeds were at night, and a countdown for when they would finish- he often delatched and rolled over himself.

Then when we went for it, was only 3 nights of him asking for it and then he was ok with cuddles. Still bedshared though as I didn't want to remove all the comfort. First time he ever slept through was shortly after that. We stopped the bedtime feed soon after that (he'd not fed to sleep at bedtime for nearly a year anyway)

He is now 2.2. Still a beggar to get to sleep but sleeps through one - two nights a week on average and often only needs a cuddle about 3-4 am (and I usually just get in with him so I don't have to think about creeping out and maximise my own sleep)

We still talk about mummy milk sometimes but he knows it's all gone (well that's the official line, I haven't actually dried up yet)

No reason other than I'd had enough a long time before but wanted him to be ready. And the minimal fuss it took tells me it was worth waiting

Thanks for all the replies, I've managed to stop him having day feeds except if I'm around at nap time but otherwise he can nap without it. He's sleeping 6-7 hours in the cot after his feed at 7pm but then is in with me and has 2-3 feeds, normally a long one at 5am but after that he accepts the milk is sleeping! Hopefully we can gradually reduce the night ones, he settled with a cuddle one time last night so here's hoping! I'll look at that book, thanks xx