Two month old sleeping in their own room?

[khalisey]

Hi all,

Mum to two month old son who absolutely loves to fidget in his sleep. My partner can usually sleep through it - however I'm such a light sleeper I barely get any shut eye once I've gotten up with LO in the night for a feed as he tends to do most of his fidgeting then (it's not wind/reflux or colic as we have no problem settling him at night for the first part of his sleep). So we are attempting him in his own room for the first time tonight. I bought a baby monitor and his room is right next to ours... however I'm a little worried because of the whole sleeping in the same room as you for the first six months things/SIDS gets brought up a lot 😕
Basically I'm just after reassurance that I'm doing the right thing 😅

When I couldn't sleep when DD was fidgeting I'd go out to sofa or spare room so she was still with DP, newborns are really noisy in their sleep. You could also try earplugs? I use them every night even now. I wouldn't have slept a wink with DD Inna separate room, sorry if that's not what you want to hear.

The SIDS advice is to do with them hearing you breathe and it reminding them to breathe so the monitor and it being the room next door makes no difference I’m afraid

I don't think anyone will be able to reassure you, because no one can know. Statistically it is a bit riskier.

Maybe consider what other risk factors you have? If the baby is breastfed, full term, good birth weight, sleeping on it's back, no smokers in family etc you might decide it is worth the risk, if baby is bottle fed, born early etc it might not be.

You do what you need to do. Of course ideally they're in your room, but weigh it up against the possible dangers of you being so overtired something bad happens. You could try it for a few nights and decide it's not for you

Sorry OP but the SIDs guidelines are evidence based and imo not worth the risk. I know what it is like to have a fidgeter though - could you try a next to me crib or pull the cot up to the bed? I found it invaluable to be able to stretch across and pat or a little reassuring stroke to settle the fidgeting.

You’re increasing the risk of sids so, no, I can’t reassure you. But you weigh up the risks and make choices that are right for you. I (or do) was in the room for all of my baby’s sleep until she was six months.

As others have said, you assess your own risk with this one. You are increasing the risk of SIDS, but probably from very small to slightly less small. Only you can decide whether it’s worth it.

You’re increasing the risk of sids so, no, I can’t reassure you

This said by a PP.

Personally I wouldn’t risk it. I’d never forgive myself if something happened.

Why don't you keep your baby in with your partner and go sleep elsewhere yourself? That way you can all sleep and your baby isn't alone.

Don't do it. You will never forgive yourself if the worst happens. The baby can sleep in the room with his/her father, who should then wake you when he/she needs feeding.

@littlestrawby has got the right idea I think.

Op, you’re obviously tired and need some rest but the SIDs guidelines are there for a reason. Between 2-4 months is the peak age so I’d say you’re taking an unnecessary risk putting him in his own room. Why not leave him with your husband and you take the monitor if need be - that way, he’s with someone, and you can wake when he does if you’re feeding him.

www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids-90-P02412

Ps...a baby monitor and room distance have nothing to do with protective factors so I wouldn’t consider either of those things ‘safer’ imo

You should sleep in the other room and leave your baby in with his or her dad if he can sleep through the fidgeting and you can't.

A 2 month old needs to sleep in a room with an adult because they need to hear your breathing and have the increased co2 in the sleeping room to regulate their breathing. It'd be foolish to reassure you that you're doing the right thing when you aren't - you're increasing SIDS risk and it's nothing to do with baby monitors.

As others have said, the monitor and being next door make no difference at all. Leave the baby with your partner and also in another room yourself. You may still find it hard to sleep, I know I did as a new mum, I was hyper aware of the babies.

I think the baby either sleeps with his father or you get soft earplugs to muffle the fidget noises a little. Not what you want to hear, sorry.

If you absolutely insist on the baby being in a different room at least get one of the breathing alarm mat things.

I've had a couple of fidget pants and solved the sleep thing with foam ear plugs. It meant I could hear them when they cried but not the minor fidgeting. Babies could hear me and my husband breathing (which I think helps babies from what I have read) and knew we were there. Just took the edge off.

No one can make this decision for you. If you want reassurance I could tell you quite truthfully that I never slept in my mum and dad’s bedroom. Neither did my siblings and we all lived to tell the tale. We were even put to sleep on our stomachs with tucked in covers to keep us warm and had bumpers round the cot as soon as we grew too big for the carrycot. Apparently that was the way things were done in the early 80s.
I was tempted to move mine into a separate room after 3 months but didn’t feel able to ignore the SIDS guidelines. I couldn’t have lived with my actions had the worst happened.

Baby should be with you untill atleast 6 months old

DS was in his own room before he turned 3 months as he had outgrown his Moses basket. I slept on the floor for a few nights and then next door with both doors wide open. He's still alive and kicking.

I think there is a lot of scaremongering with the whole SIDs thing and it had me completely paranoid for a while. Have a look at he numbers in the link and see what you think.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/professionals/statistics-on-sids/

Not worth the risk one bit

www.nhs.uk/conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids/

And notice how the NHS does say that's it's rare and probably caused by a combination of factors.

Scaremongering? Lots of babies slept in separate rooms and are still "alive and kicking". Some aren't though. Not a risk I'd be willing to take.

The risk is low but the effect would be catastrophic. It's not scaremongering. Tell that to the people that have woken up to dead baby. Leave the baby in with DH. Go sleep in the baby's room.

I swaddled my baby and it helped I also wear earplugs as my DH snores like a bear

millymae 230 babies died of SIDS in 2014 compared to the 1593 babies who died of SIDS in 1988, before the safe sleeping campaign.

SIDS deaths have started rising again for the first time since the 80s, presumably partly at least because of a false sense of security and reduced spending on awareness campaigns.