Why to bed so early then up so early

[DungeonDweller]

Ours is only a few months old but sleep looking like this:

• Wake up with us around 8am

• Nap on and off during the day (sling if out or popped into rocker if looking tired, basically), usually 2-3 hrs napping on avg day

• Go to bed with us at 10.30pm-11pm ish

• Strict sleep hygiene (blackout blinds, same music toy wound up during final feed, same sleeping bag as have multiple identical ones, no talking in room after light off)

We're now managing that period from 11pm to 8am without wake-up or problems settling.

But I'm nervous our sleep routine might hit a regression or bump, because I was talking to a neighbor who asked how bubs sleeps

She was absolutely horrified that baby is up with us in chair or on our lap all evening & kept up until adults go to bed. Said we're creating problems for future?! Didn't elaborate.

Anyway, after asking in antenatal group chat and reading threads on here, it sounds like babies are normally put down 6om-8pm to bed then up really early, like 5-6am?
Why do they need to go to bed that early?
Is it an age thing? Do older babies and toddlers need earlier sleep?

I'm not asking to be goady or judgemental as one womanin antenatal said, I honestly don't understand why most babies are put to bed so early then up so early. One of the benefits of maternity leave is no 6am work shift alarm

Can someone explain/should we be changing this by a certain age?

I don't have a choice, that's when my baby chooses to sleep. I mean, obviously I could try not to do bedtime routine with her for a 7pm bedtime, but then she'd be a crying mess. So 7pm it is. Then she wakes up at 6-7am (I mean, after multiple wake-ups at night) and won't stay down. I would happily swap

If what's working for you isn't broke, don't fix it. Some people want their evenings back sans baby, maybe? I don't get my evening back as I go to bed with her at 7pm otherwise I wouldn't get a block of sleep longer than an hour.

All of mine seemed to hit a wall at about 6.30pm, after that they were impossible to soothe they just needed their cot. If yours copes with being awake all evening fab, mine would have grizzled non stop.

Some babies rise with the sun, even when the room is nearly 100% blacked out - my ds2 and ds4 do. DH is the same! When this happens, there's not much else to do but do an early bed. Winter is much better for us this way.

However I also think that a lot of babies are actually more flexible than UK parents give them credit for (like my ds1 and DS3) - there's a culture here of people putting babies to bed at 6.30 and being confused by 5.30am wakings.

In my parents' home country, babies go to bed late with the family. Some still wake up early, they just nap more in the day, and children also keep an afternoon nap for longer, nearly until school.

If your baby is under six months they should be sleeping with you anyway. So what you describe is probably normal for lots of people (it was for us). Around 4 months old our DD started to settling down for proper sleep at around 7 and has done ever since (not saying she sleeps through sadly)! - absolutely nothing we did, it just happened. I wouldn’t worry. Everyone has an opinion and not all of them are welcome! Just do what works for you.

At a few months old i doubt you'll be creating problems for the future. As the baby becomes more active during the day they may need to go down earlier. I would have been very happy with that schedule at a few months old!

We were very like you @DungeonDweller and everyone had grim prophecies of him never sleeping, being up all hours etc.

Fast forward 4 years he goes up at 830, sleeps through every night and gets up about 7.15, which is just right for school etc. Happened naturally as he got older, but hes still really good if we stay out a bit late or at a relatives etc. We are probably very lucky!

My dd, now 3, has always gone to bed on the later side. We've done it to coincide with morning routine as to me it's much easier to get ready in the morning on my own, wake dd up at 7.20 (if she's not up already), get her dressed then straight in the car to nursery where she has breakfast. We're on summer hols at the moment so we've been having some lovely family lie ins!

I think it depends on the baby and the parent. If it works for you then crack on with it.

Mine stayed with me in the evening for a few months. It's absolutely fine. Baby should be sleeping in the same room as you for the first few months anyway.

I'd say if you are getting from 11 to 8 am without being woken up, you can't be doing much wrong

Under 6 months they are supposed to stay with you in the evening.

You either get an evening or a lie-in with small children - some people prefer a child free evening and will sacrifice the morning.

We all have to be up by 7 anyway so a 7-7.30 bedtime makes sense.

I think a lot of it is actually dependant on the baby! Ours rises at 6am, goes down at 7pm. Have said and tried before to put him down at 8 to get till 7 and he still wakes at 6, and is just grumpy for that hour. He actually needs his bed by then.

Depends on age of your baby too, if only a few months this is normal I would say. I'm sure my youngest didn't start going to bed at that time until about 5 months. Before then he was with us and then up to bed at same time as us too

Anyway just do what works for you

What you’re doing is totally fine if it works for you. Lots of babies sleep like that.

You might still hit a regression all the same, but it won’t be because you’ve done something ‘wrong’, it will be because baby sleep changes as they grow.

Ok good, it sounds like there's no clear child development/physical reason that we shouldn't be keeping bubs up with us then! Neighbour reacted like I'd admitted to putting a baby to sleep front down or something!

Thanks!!

Neighbour reacted like I'd admitted to putting a baby to sleep front down or something. Lots of people have very strong views on parenting, often with never even reading a single piece of evidence on the subject.

My eldest was put to bed 7pm-7am religiously. She's 18 now and hates me for that, she feels she missed out on a lot
My middle child wasn't as compliant and rarely went to bed before 10pm, but she'd sleep in until 9 am until she went to school.
My youngest is the same now.
Do what suits you and your family, no one else matters, it isn't a competition.

We did what you did. DS started struggling to sleep in the living room with us so we started putting him upstairs earlier from about 6months.

He wasn't a great sleeper until he was 1. Always got up at least once, usually twice. But it got better over time

Now at 2 he is absolutely fine and has been for months. Goes to bed about 7pm and gets up at 8am.

Just do it the way that works for you. Mine became naturally tired at 7pm anyway but I went back to work at 6 months and we had to leave the house at 7am so wouldn't have liked to have trained her to go to bed later anyway. Plus I function better at 6am than I do at 11pm, have always been like it

Not sure how old your baby is but 11-8 plus the upper estimate of naps of 3 hours is only 12 hours- under 1 year mine would have been knackered on that. Under 6 months mine were downstairs with me until we went to bed but they were asleep not up. Average is probably nearer 14 hours sleep in 24, which is more like the 7-6 night plus 3 hours worth of naps your friends are having.

Always confused me, but then we did afternoon preschool to avoid early mornings

You either get an evening or a lie-in with small children
Or you get neither! ::yawns::

We had no strict routine until my DC was atleast 18 months !!! Babies have so many developmental leaps and changes its pointless trying to stick to a routine that will change in a matter of weeks. I wouldn't worry about what other people do anyway, all babies are different. My 2 year old still doesn't sleep through his bedtime is 7pm, he wakes at 3am then will sleep till 5/6am so tbh I'd stick to 11pm-8am and enjoy the lovely sleep you are getting!!! Lol!!