Help! 3 month old suddenly screaming at bedtime!

[MrsLBxxo]

Help guys please! I feel like I’m close to having a meltdown 😭

My baby girl is 14 weeks old. from being 8 weeks old she has slept through the night roughly 7pm-6:30am.

During the day for all naps Willow puts herself to sleep. I can pop her down in her cot in the dark with her white noise machine on, and guarantee that within 5/10 mins she will be asleep. She rarely fusses during this period and never cries, she just babbles to herself and chills until she nods off.

The same goes for any wake ups during the night. Occasionally she will wake and babble to herself for a little while in the night, but she never cries and always settles herself back off to sleep. I don’t remember the last time I had to get up to settle her in the night.

Historically this has been the case for bedtime too, but about 2 weeks ago she started having an absolute meltdown at bedtime. Not just a little cry, a full on screaming until she is sick meltdown, has to be rocked to sleep, wakes up every 20 mins screaming for about 2 hours after being put down.

When this began it was as soon as her head hit the cot, but for the last 2 nights the screaming has been as soon as we’ve started her massage (routine is bum change, massage, sleep sack, bottle, story, bed with white noise and black out curtains and a blind).

Nothing has changed in her routine, we ensure she has enough awake time to be sleepy at bedtime but not overtired. It’s absolutely killing me. 1 because of the manner in which she screams, it’s awful, you would think someone was doing something awful to her. And 2, because it’s come from nowhere and we just can’t work out what’s happened to cause it.

Willow has been diagnosed with reflux, however she is on the max dose of her meds for her weight (I had it revised when this started) and has no issues sleeping flat in her cot at any other point, so I’m reluctant to blame it on this.

Does anyone have any suggestions, or at least has experienced this so I don’t feel so alone? As soon as the screaming starts I just feel so low, I want to crawl into my bed and never come out, i have a history of PND and this is really getting to me 😭

Wow it's amazing how well she has been sleeping so far!!! My four month old was sleeping 10-5am, which I was thrilled with, but it's all gone to shit too. There's a massive sleep regression at four months, plus he's got his first two teeth so I'm hoping it's a phase and it'll pass. Perhaps the same issues for you? Maybe try a little bonjella or calpol to cover that base?

Also I think what you're describing is COMPLETELY normal for this age and you've been really lucky so far. Try to relax a little about it, as it won't last forever and she will sleep eventually

It’s not the not sleeping that’s the problem. She does sleep eventually and is still sleeping great overnight, it’s the absolute distress she’s in suddenly at bedtime that’s causing me to get so upset 😭

Sounds like for some sudden reason she's got bad associations with bed time? My DS was like this for ages and I wished I'd switched up his bedtime routine a bit to make it different or less rushed and more soothing? Sounds like you do have a nice little routine going though. Maybe something that projects lights on ceiling as a distraction? I did try this for me DS and it didn't work, but he did eventually grow out of the bedtime crying. It reallt used to upset me ending the day like that.

Hugs

If she's crying pick her up and cuddle her until she stops. Let her fall asleep on you and then put her back in. It's amazing that she's going to bed so early and actually sleeping through. Your routine sou ds lovely but she is way too young for it and mainly needs cuddles and closeness for her emotional development, not independence and white noise.

Willow is never and has never been left to cry. Since this started we have been cuddling her to sleep but she still more or less cries herself to sleep in our arms. My concern is whether this is a normal phase that she’s going through as it started so out of the blue and we can’t work out a cause. Willow has always been a very settled content baby; and we’re very lucky that she is able to self soothe and sleeps through the night for her age, but we put that down to how content and secure she feels. She was always been drowned in snuggles from both me and her dad, and I don’t believe she should need cuddling to sleep every night for her emotional development if she will fall asleep just fine without that attachment. I love my baby girl dearly; I don’t appreciate being made to feel like I’m some how hindering her emotional development because I’ve posted about a change in her behaviour that’s really concerning me.

That's good. She's so tiny, she will cry sometimes even if she didn't before. My babies' true personalities started to show more from about 4 months so she could just be more aware that you've put her down.