Will this work re ending cosleeping?

[AreWeNearlyHairnet]

My 14 month old has been cosleeping with me for about 6 months now and I've decided I'd like it to end. I like the cuddles but I feel trapped in the bed, stressed about rolling onto him and my back is getting extremely sore.

So two nights ago I decided that I was just going to keep putting him back in the cot. However, it's killing me!

The first night he didn't sleep longer than 90 minutes, often only 45 minutes, and he took over an hour to get into his cot as he kept waking and screaming as soon as he touched it. I got maybe 5 hours of sleep over a 12-hour period.

The second night is nearly over and he has slept a little better (a couple of 2-hour stretches) but he's still taking almost an hour to get back down. I also gave him Calpol this evening as he has a giant molar coming through, so that might be why he's doing slightly better.

I still feel exhausted though, and the thought of doing this for a third night is making me feel sick.

Is this worth persisting with?

He still feeds to sleep at each waking, so I'm not sure if I'm actually teaching him to self-settle. He slept for much longer periods in the bed with me, but still fed several times per night.

Any tips? Advice for giving up cosleeping much appreciated.

Get a bigger bed? I don’t really get the concern about rolling on him?

Might not be much help but we tried to do the same and put in a cot at 18 months, my little one was having none of it. She hardly napped in the day so we all needed a good nights sleep. Gave up after 3 nights and went back to co sleeping (we sidecar her cot so plenty of room). Tried again 2 months later in her own bed and she instantly took to it- now sleeps in it happily all night.

I have king size bed already, I just always end up perched on the edge as my DS takes up so much room! He stardfishes out and I have to have what's left

It's not just for that reason that I want to stop though, it's mainly because my back is getting really sore sleeping on my side.

I want to have a duvet pulled up properly, to be able to get out and go to the loo in the night without worrying about him rolling out, and I'd also like my husband to come back in the bed! He's currently sleeping in the spare bed and I miss him.

Personally I'd keep at it, I'd aim for a week of effort, if no improvement then maybe go back to coslesping and try again in a few weeks.

A week sounds (and feels!) long when trying a new routine but in the whole scheme of things it's not. It takes time for all of us to adjust to new sleeping surroundings
Best of luck!

Thanks @Mrsducky88 - that's what worries me, that he's just not ready. I'm going to try one more night of this I think then i might have to stop. I've been awake since 4:45am now trying to get him back down.

Thank you @louise987 - I'll persevere for a week if I can.

I reckon feeding him back to sleep is making it harder. I have a 19 month old who starts in the cot and ends up in my super king bed and I found a co sleeping night blog really helpful.

Will see if I can find it.

I moved DD into her own single bed at that age after cosleeping from birth. I understand the bad back and craziness of how a little person can take up so much bed space! Single bed still had enough room for me to feed to sleep and cuddle at bedtime, but I could roll away without disturbing her once she was asleep. She didn't sleep through for another year but it saved my back and I did get a smidgen more sleep that way. Putting him in a cot will probably be too different to sleeping in a bed, you can try just a single mattress on the floor at first Montessori style (this is what I did) with foam barriers to stop them rolling out.

Dr Jay Gordon

I’ve now managed to separate going to sleep and bfding which means she sleeps longer

You write 'and I've decided I'd like it to end' totally understandable, but also totally confusing for your 14month old who probably doesn't want it to end.

I don't think it's worth the worry or the hassle of persevering if your baby is not ready and agree with pp who say get a bigger bed or make a small bed up right next to your bed.

It's frustrating I know, but I think for you to suddenly decide you want it to end when your baby has had the comfort of being next to you for so long is a pretty high expectation for them to understand you've suddenly had enough.

Cuddle up, get some sleep. Seriously. Your baby will be a teenager before you know it!

Good luck x

Where does he nap and how does he fall asleep then?

You need to stop feeding to sleep and he needs to learn how to fall asleep without the breast. When he’s moving between sleep cycles he’s struggling to get back to sleep because the only way he knows how is with the breast.

If you are struggling to sleep and want to bring it to an end that is perfectly ok. I co slept with DD until she was 16 months. Her sleep was absolutely horrendous and she relied totally on the breast to get her back to sleep every time she stirred. I was on my knees so went to a gentle sleep consultant who helped us get her into her own bed and night wean. It was a quick and easy process, she was never left to cry and within 2 days was sleeping for much longer periods and within 2 weeks was reliably sleeping through.

It’s absolutely fine to want your child to sleep better and to want your space back.

Thanks so much everyone, I'll definitely read that blog @MarshaBradyo

As for naps, he usually sleeps in his cot (breastfed to sleep) or sometimes in his pram if we're out.

I totally agree that although I want this to end, nobody has explained this to my son. I'm going to persevere for a few more days I think and then maybe try again in a couple of months.

Let me know what you think. It’s the first thing I’ve read about sleep that really helped and made sense