Help me please - my 10 week old is only sleeping for 2 hours a night!

[Hopefulbride18]

My 10 week old DS has terrible wind which seems to be keeping him up at night. Last night he only slept from 11-12 and 3-4ish. At 5am I woke up my DH because I was just so exhausted and couldn’t stay up anymore. He was with him until 7am when DS needed feeding again and he needed to get ready to go to work.

Despite the extra 2 hours sleep I still feel awful. This is becoming pretty standard sleep pattern for DS too. On a better night he may sleep for 2 2 hour blocks. I’ve worn myself out further this morning just crying about it all. I’m trying baby massage, more tummy time, keeping him more upright during the day, tilted the next to me, infacol, gripewater... anyone else got any more suggestions?

I also just generally feel like I’m failing at this because I just can’t hack these nights with only 2 hours sleep so DH is having to wfh much more or DM or PILs are having to come and help me

Anyone have any suggestions or been through similar?

Can I just ask is baby bf or bottle and how does he sleep during the day?

He’s bf, he sleeps okay during the day I would say maybe 4-5 short ish naps either on me, in sling, in rocking chair or in the pram (around 30 mins?) I struggle to get him to sleep much longer... the problems usually start about 6pm for the good old witching hour! Around 2 hours of crying usually ensues. Ironically, last night he was better and much more settled before bedtime so I was actually feeling quite optimistic about the night before bed.

I had a similar sort of problem with my DD who is now 6 months old. She would sleep okay during the day and then it would get to 6pm, she would cluster feed and just cry until 2am. She just seemed more active at night. I paid for a lactation consultant who advised me to wake her up every 2.5 hours for feeds during the day as she seemed to think that she had her days / nights mixed up. This did seem to really help and after about a week the night times became a lot more bearable.

She did also suffer with chronic reflux and I did all of the things you've already mentioned in your post. Have you tried putting her cot / Moses basket on a slight incline? That helps if it is reflux. Can't remember if you've mentioned that already. If you really think she's struggling with something like this then speak to your HV or GP. My DD was on various meds for it.

Forgot to say, don't feel like your failing. It sounds like your doing a great job so just hang in there because it does get better! Don't be so hard on yourself and take whatever help is offered!

My DD is 10 weeks and a couple of weeks ago she was screaming from 7-11pm which we assumed was colic. We tried two things - put her on a feeding routine of every 3 hours Instead of feeding on demand in case I was inadvertently feeding over trapped wind and making it worse. Secondly we started a bedtime routine ti get her down between 7-8pm to prevent overtiredness in the evenings. These seem to have helped.

Are you eating and drinking regularly and properly op? Your food intake will dramatically affect your milk production and I had difficulties with feeding by the end of the day as I didn't eat well enough in the early days. I also used to express excess milk in the mornings to top up the evening feeds. You are not failing you are doing your best, and asking family to help is not failing I'm sure they are happy to help. Chin up it will get easier

Gina Ford routines saved my sanity. She is like marmite though, some dislike the routines but I needed sleep so followed her routines to the letter and worked so well for us. But that includes daytime naps, blackout blinds, waking them at set times etc.

Yes the next to me is on a slight incline on HV advice - what would be the indicators of silent reflux ? I think I googled it and didn’t feel it was likely to be that.

In terms of the day sleep, I try to make sure he doesn’t sleep too much which he doesn’t tend to now, I think sometimes by the evening he’s over tired though?! We started doing 3 hourly feeds for that reason as well but obviously in the middle of the night it all goes to pot and I feed him when he asks for it!

I think the eating and drinking was a big problem at first and I was doing the same - topping up in the evenings ! But I’ve really made an effort to keep hydrated (especially in the hot weather) and eat regularly!!

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement

Do you use a dummy? If my DD wakes up early at night I give her the dummy to see if it's really hunger or comfort she's after.

@VaselineHero no he will not take the dummy as hard as we’ve tried!!

Have you tried infacol? Tried different dummies?

DD is formula fed so I can't offer much advice I don't think but she definitely had colic which started later on at night.

I know we're told not to bath them as much but I find bathing dd gets her lovely and sleepy especially with a bit of bedtime bath in there. Even if you do this 7, 8pm then go to bed when he does you might get a few straight hours.

You're not failing BTW. Babies are tough and that much sleep is not enough for anyone. You're doing great!

How do you feel about cosleeping?

Oh noticed you mentioned wind, dd was ridiculous with wind had to change her formula but also used colactase drops which helped tonnes. You can use these when breastfeeding, worth taking a look at colactase seeing if you think it might help?

Boots sell it.

www.basisonline.org.uk/

You might find this useful

@Hopefulbride18 see, I was told that not sleeping enough during the day made babies sleep less/worse at night because they get overtired.

We did find a dummy helped from about 4 weeks on. DD will ONLY take a Philips Avent and gags on all others, possibly the shape? 🤨 so if you can, maybe try different brands?

Feed 2 hourly in the day, ensuring full drainage of breast. Let him nap as he pleases in the day and whatever it takes to get him to sleep in the day at this age. Don’t let him sleep past 5.00pm. At 6- yes 6pm - upstairs, curtains shut and dim the lights and get his bedtime clothes out - feed in dim light- quiet bath - into darkened bedroom and bedtime babygrow and sleeping bag. Feed again, winding thoroughly. Then settle in Moses or cot - May need to shush pat to get him off if you sure he’s had enough milk. He should be in bed between 6.30-7. All feeds after this point upstairs in a darkened room and back to cot/Moses after each one. Be regimented about the bedtime bit for a few weeks.

3 ebf babies, 1 settled, 2 nightmares. Made them all settled and good sleepers. It was my first that made me realise she was completely over stimulated when I cluster fed her downstairs with lights on and tv blaring. So I started this routine at about 6 weeks. With the other 2, didn’t even chance it! Just did this from day 1.

It is normal, you are doing a great job and it will get better! He's only 10 weeks. X

Cosleeping saved my sanity and we started that around 4 months. Also just accepted a 9 or 10 pm bedtime as 7 seemed too early for her and it was a losing battle. You will find what works for you. But we never had to deal with wind, just unexplained not sleeping! What are the indicators that it's wind? You could try cutting dairy from your diet? That is said to be an issue for some babies.

My DD will only take a mam dummy, they are a flatter shape. Boots sell them.

She is also better in the evenings if she's napped regularly throughout the day. I was told don't let them go over a 2 hour awake period at this stage. For my DD this looks like 1.5 hours awake (including feed) and 30 mins getting tired. Look for sleep indicators like yawning or rubbing eyes. Seems to work well for her.