Toddler hysterical at night. Feel like I’m losing it :(

[Greenpastures]

Hoping someone can help please. DD is 19 months, and for the past 4 weeks has been waking screaming in the night. Like hysterical rolling around in cot snot bubbling sort of crying. She’s wide awake, and if I pick her up she stops crying immediately, points to the door as if to say ‘downstairs’ or asks for daddy. It can be any time between 11 and 4. She used to be a great sleeper, and she self settles no prob at 7. I’ve been trying the controlled crying technique tonight. 11.40 till 1.45. She’s dozed off a cpl of times in the last 30 mins but then woken crying again. Do I now start the time back at 2 mins again as she was quiet/asleep? Or if the last length of time I left her was 15 mins, and she falls asleep but then wakes crying, should I be continuing from the 15 minute timing? Do you time when they’re not crying?! It’s breaking my heart though, I’ve cried so much I think DH may start controlled crying technique on me I find I get so emotional/frustrated listening to her and even shouted at one point

Looking back at the days when my DD's did this, I wish I'd just put them in my bed with me. It's so hard on them.

we co-slept - my DD used to have night terrors, and I just would turn over, give her a pat and a cuddle and we all went back to sleep.

She eventually had her own bed and room with her brother - they are only little for such a short time!

obviously its not for everyone, but don't worry about it becoming a habit - just do what needs to be done for now, so that everyone can sleep, and then tackle getting her back into her own bed when everyone is less sleep deprived.

hang in there - this too shall pass

Is it everyday, sporadic or after nursery/childminder days?

I don’t have any brilliant advice, I just wanted to chime in and say that we always just co-slept with our kids until they let us know that they were ready for their own beds. We tried sleep-training but couldn’t hack it.

I suppose that co-sleeping isn’t for everyone, but it was the easiest solution for us, and so we had four kids with us over the years.

Oh my gosh don't let her cry! You'll all get more sleep if you just bring her in with you! If you're crying because she's crying, why are you making both of you so upset.

Just bring her to your bed. It won't be forever and it'll make everyone's life easier. I did the controlled crying thing with my ds and I wish I hadn't.

I feel for you- we had similar around that age. Have you checked for teething signs? If it's that then some pain relief might help.
If controlled crying is your thing then stick with it- every baby and family is different.
For us bringing dd to our bed was not an option as she stayed up playing all night and was climbing everywhere and out of our bed etc. It took us three nights to crack it- ten min intervals, and each night got a little better. You will get through this!

Have you tried bringing her into your bed to see if she will settle? Co sleeping isn’t for everyone but if both you and DD are so upset then it’s probably the way forward at the mo, it’s a long time for her to be crying of and off and is sounds very distressing for you both. Don’t worry about creating bad habits as she can be transitioned back to her room when everyone is happier and less sleep deprived.

Stop letting her cry! It’s breaking your heart which tells you all you need to know.
Just bring her into your bed. She’s little and scared and she needs you.