Feel at a total loss and over it

[mumma90]

DD now 12 months and I don't know if it's teething or development..,I cannot get her to nap in the day on any schedule.

I'm totally lost. I've lost my confidence in anything I do. We had a good pattern of her taking a 90 min nap at 10.30/11 when she was around 8/9 months. Sleeping ok overnight - couple of wake ups.

Now it feels like I spend all evening trying to settle her. She wakes at 8am most mornings. I try for a nap at 11am but nope so it's sometimes 12.30/1 when she'll sometimes take a 90 min nap. Sometimes!!! Must days it's 30 mins at 3pm!!!
Then it's trying for bedtime at 8pm ends in her waking every 40 mins to 11pm when she finally sleeps through to 8am if I'm lucky!!! She can wake at 3am.

What the hell am I doing wrong? I'm still breastfeeding her ... she eats well in the day and now has a Toddler follow on milk for drinks.

I'm losing it. I feel like all day and all night I'm caring for her. I've zero time for myself.

Anyone??

It may just be that she's no longer ready for the morning nap, and the cycle of desperately trying to persuade her off to sleep agitates her - then by bedtime she's overtired and it disturbs her sleep. Maybe? Could be worth trying for on later nap - don't bother trying till 1.30/2ish? Just a suggestion! They're little buggers for pulling the rug from under you when you think you're sorted!

At 12 months my DS only had 1 nap a day around 12-12.30 for 2 hours after waking at 7am. It might be your DD is transitioning to 1 nap a day at 1-1.30ish if she wakes at 8.

Thanks @EdwardGorey

She slept 11pm to 9am yesterday! With a few 40 mins between 8pm and 10.30pm. So night time sleep isn't too bad I suppose,

You are right - it's a constant rug pulling from under your feet!!!

Day before she didn't nap till 3pm again!! That was after trying the 1/2pm. Even a walk after lunch didn't work.

I'm going to keep going with the 1/2pm nap.

Just worried she needs 2 naps a day. She wakes anywhere between 8 and 8.30 am

She wakes quite late compared to most babies, so maybe that's why she needs a later nap? I think I'd stop trying for a nap at 11am and focus on after lunch.

@Pineapplefish do you think I should wake her earlier?

Say 7.30am?

I tried 8am thinking she will settle for the evening at 8pm but it goes on till 10pmish. Even with a 90 min nap around lunch.

I don't know. As my evenings are non existent I take the morning lie in where I can but maybe I'm doing it all wrong.

Maybe I should try for 7am wake and 7pm bed.

I’ve never really understood ‘nap schedules.’ My DS napping needs seem to change from month to month as he can go longer and longer without a sleep. Also for a long time he would only sleep for about 40 mins at a time and then it was suddenly one nap a day for an hour and a half/two hours (he’s 15 months now). I would advise to just go with the flow - or out in the pram. I’ve found that trying to get a baby to nap at home when they just don’t want to is a path to madness!

I don't think you necessarily need to wake her early.... I just think that if she wakes at 8.30 she probably doesn't need a nap at 11. You're not doing it all wrong OP - you're listening to your baby's natural rhythms!

Maybe I should try for 7am wake and 7pm bed.

Absolutely! Having your evenings back is well overdue.

Thanks @PixieLumos
I am with you there and the no napping at home madness feels!!! I do ty and just get out of the house and for a nice walk everyday if the weather is good...and when I know the nap isn't going to happen!!
I think overtime I've just got myself wound up by the baby books/guides on what schedule my baby should be on. Constantly worrying if she only takes a 30/45 min nap that I'm doing it all wrong...

I don't know! It's changed rapidly at the moment plus I think we have our first molar teeth coming through!!!

Teething is always going to turn things upside down, don’t be hard on yourself OP. I think getting up earlier may be worth a try (easier said than done when you’ve had a long day and late night, I know!) Say 7.00 am, keep her busy and get outside in the morning - and then just wait until she seems tired or falls asleep naturally to give you a better guideline as to how long she can comfortably stay awake. If you want to put her back down at about 7 or 8 in the evening I would try and avoid sleeping after 4 pm (I was mean and would wake my DS up if he was still asleep at that time at that age - DH works abroad a lot and we have no family close by, my evenings are precious to me!)

So last night was good... DD slept 8.15pm to 9pm then 9.30pm right through to 4am...short wake up then through to 8am.

The lunch nap didn't happen when I tried - 12.30/1pm. It was later...2.30 to 3.30pm... just an hour...

Shall see how the next few days goes...big molars still lurking!!

So last night was good... DD slept 8.15pm to 9pm then 9.30pm right through to 4am...short wake up then through to 8am.

The lunch nap didn't happen when I tried - 12.30/1pm. It was later...2.30 to 3.30pm... just an hour...

Shall see how the next few days goes...big molars still lurking!!

So last night was good... DD slept 8.15pm to 9pm then 9.30pm right through to 4am...short wake up then through to 8am.

The lunch nap didn't happen when I tried - 12.30/1pm. It was later...2.30 to 3.30pm... just an hour...

Shall see how the next few days goes...big molars still lurking!!

So last night was good... DD slept 8.15pm to 9pm then 9.30pm right through to 4am...short wake up then through to 8am.

The lunch nap didn't happen when I tried - 12.30/1pm. It was later...2.30 to 3.30pm... just an hour...

Shall see how the next few days goes...big molars still lurking!!