Anyone used a dummy and NOT had to do 54336 dummy runs every night?

[PleasetellmeIWillsurvive]

So DD (2nd baby) is 12 weeks now and a massive dummy addict. I don't have a problem with dummies in general, but I do have an issue with having to reinsert it overnight if that is going to become a problem come the 4 month sleep regression.

How likely is she to start waking for it multiple times in the night?

At the moment she will go down for naps and bed time 50% of the time with no dummy. I just put her down in the dark with white noise, swaddled and off she goes without a peep! If she cries, or to be honest, if she even makes a sound, I pop in the dummy and she's out pretty fast, within minutes, usually.

I can also pull it out when the eyelids start to drop and she will then usually go off without it, so technically she can self soothe? I haven't taught her this, she just seems to be one of those babies who doesnt need much help getting to sleep which is fab. However, if she wakes mid-nap (she rarely makes it past the 40 min mark) I ALWAYS reinsert the dummy and never remove it as she's in such a light sleep I am pretty confident she wouldn't go back down without it.

In the early morning hours I also sometimes pop the dummy in if she wakes to get a bit more sleep out of her in the morning if she's not long fed.

I have massive fears around the 4 month sleep regression and sleep. (Am being treated for post-natal anxiety and it's all about fear of losing control of sleep). DS learnt to suck his thumb and somehow avoided the regression entirely and I'd really love DD to do the same, but she hasn't started doing this yet.

So, should I be doing more to try to make her less reliant on the dummy? Should I stop feeding back to sleep at night feeds (how is this even avoidable?!) And should I try to teach her to re-settle without the dummy when she wakes mid-nap?

She's just such a good baby at the min and I really want to do all I can if possible to avoid massive problems come 4 months as if we do encounter issues I know it will send my anxiety through the roof!

I know I am being ridiculous, but please be gentle with me!x

I'd say that if you think that the dummy affecting babies sleep is going to be a serious problem in terms of your anxiety, then yes I'd try and wean baby off it

DS has had a dummy since he was about 6 weeks old. He's 15 months now and I think the MOST dummy runs I had to do in one night was 2. He did something similar to your DD - once he was asleep it just dropped out, was how we knew he was asleep properly.

I don't think you'll have an issue but it may be worth rethinking either the dummy or the swaddle. DS would fetch the dummy himself most nights if it was in reach and he needed it during the night. Good luck!

Also there's no guarantee she'll hit the regression - she may just breeze straight through it!

A family member with 4 children gave me her top tip with dummies which was to have loads and scatter them around the cot at night so the baby could always find one. This was actually genius! Much easier than trying to mean them off when they are so tiny. By the way we weaned easily and very happily around 18/24 months by putting them in an envelope in the post to a friends new baby. My DS had reflux so the dummies were incredibly helpful.

We always left a 'halo' of dummies in the bed so they could easily grapple for them. Both DC shocking dummy addicts. Got rid at approx 2 years old with the older with no probs. Little one still 'using'

Dd is 7 months and had one from newborn. Hers drops out and she will happily sleep without it in fact I don't think she has ever woken me up to reinsert.

I don't think the baby understands your anxiety so she'll do what she pleases at 4, 5 or 6 months or whenever.

I seem to remember DS was similar in that I was up inserting the dummy all the time for a while and he couldn't get enough. I was completely exhausted. The guidance we received was to use it till 6 months as beyond then it's more of a bad habit than a need. We finally mustered the courage to wean him off it at 8 months.

DS3 has a dummy from a few weeks old. Other ds’s were thumb suckers so I was dreading the dummy runs. DS3 still fed quite a lot at night until around 6-7 months so usually wanted feeding rather than the dummy. We had a couple of weeks of dummy runs around 7-8 months and then I bought a whole load of glow in the dark dummies in the next size up. That along with helping him to practice during the day putting it in himself and he cracked it. Even now at 1.5yrs he has about 6 glowing dummies in his cot each night! I never have to replace it as he just sorts himself out!

Another dummy addict mum here. Ds1 wasnt like this at all but for some reason ds2 had to be fed the dummy through the night for first few months (at one point it was every 30 mins through the night but he was sleeping right next to me at that point so I could pop it back in and go back to sleep) then as he got older and could put it back in himself we gradually increased the numbers in his cot. Hes up to 7 now at 14 months but I occasionally have to go in if hes feeling lazy.

I used to hate dummies but I limit them to sleep times only and they fall out of his mouth once hes asleep anyway. Plus they comfort him, why wouldn't I give him something that gives him comfort?

I used to put my dummy addict baby to sleep with one in her mouth, one in her hand and about another 3 around her as above like a ‘halo’ of dummies so she could flail about and grab one. Worked a treat!

Scatter several dummies round the cot so she can find them herself.

I bought dummies that came with some type of clip, that could be attached onto night wear etc, can barely remember now!
So if it fell out, it never fell far, was a top tip from health visitor.

We used the clips, and later the multiple dummies scattered around the cot technique, with both our dc and both were fine; we rarely had to get up to re-insert them.

And ime dummies are far less damaging than thumb-sucking, and easier to give up. (I sucked my thumb for years as a child, ended up needing braces on my teeth)

Keep in mind the waking may not be the dummy's fault. The baby isn't necessarily waking because the dummy fell out, they are probably waking for some normal baby reason or no reason, then the dummy helps them get back to sleep. If they didn't have a dummy they would still wake and you'd be going in to soothe them back to sleep in another way.

And don't panic in advance about the sleep regression - some never have it (mine didn't).

Just saw that your dc1 didn't either! Although a lot is written about the 4 month sleep regression, it's not rare not to have it either.

Thanks so much everyone for your replies!

@SAHM2019 you are right. I think the approach will be to try to use it as little as possible. Actually she's on her third nap without it today!

@Rarfy @mooity great to hear stories of babies who had one and it didn't result in endless dummy runs!

I think I'll continue to try not to offer it too much and give her as much chance as possible to find her fingers.xxx

I didn't even explain why I said that too. But my middle one who is 3 now is a dummy addict (still) and still occasionally wakes in the night for it and I've been unsuccessful at leaving extra dummies around her bed. She just cries with her eyes closed until her older sister gives it to her or I get up and give her it. It's a real pain and I just think if you were to have a situation like that and its gonna make your anxiety really bad you should do whatever you can to try and lessen that in advance. Obviously we cant control and plan for much with babies when it comes to sleep, I think its luck of the drawer... but anything you can put in place to take care of your own health, do it. Mum needs to function for the family to function properly. Good luck x

@SAHM2019 Thank you. You're so right. She actually got a really good latch on her thumb yesterday evening whilst sat in the bouncy chair, so I'm really hoping we can transition her gradually from thumb to dummy.

Good work from your daughter putting her sister's dummy back in though!x

@PleasetellmeIWillsurvive yeah from what you've said, your baby doesn't sound like she's completely addicted 👌 hopefully she never will be 🤣 the dummy is both a blessing and a curse! And ha, my eldest has been doing that since she was 3. They went into the same room together aged 1 & 3... I think that's partly why the middle one has never got up to find her own dummy as she's always had big sis on hand to do it if mum doesn't go in there first so been a but spoiled I suppose. I'm really looking forward to hanging the dummies on the xmas tree for Santa to take away FOR GOOD this year 👋