Self soothe help!!!

[meandbump2019]

Hi all. My daughter is now 4 months old and until recently was excellent at sleeping. However she now fights sleep and has to be rocked to sleep and wont self soothe to sleep.

Once asleep in my arms , I transfer her to her crib and she will continue to nap (all of 40 mins).

My questions is this.... any tips to self soothe or is she too young? Are 40 min naps normal?

I would love to be able to just pop her in the crib when the tiredness kicks in and for her to sleep (I'm sure you all would!). Any advice or experience would be greatly recieved:) xx

My baby was terrible at daytime sleeping and wouldn't be put down to sleep. We did controlled crying at 5 months and it too 3 days before she got it.

I know this isn't for everyone and some people will probably think we are horrible for doing it but she didn't cry for that long and she know sleeps really well.

We gave her a comforter and small teddy that we'd carried around (one by me, one by DH) so she had something to comfort herself that smelt of us.

She's now 10 months and has consistently slept well in the day and night since. She occasionally wakes but settles herself down again, normally after grabbing her teddy or comforter.

Good luck 😉

Thanks for your advice. I will try anything, even controlled crying!!

She seems to nod off well with her dummy but she always knocks it out and then crys, I appear to pop it back in and then her eyes are wide open and shes giggling at me 🤦‍♀️.

I think I have made a rod off my own back with the rocking and cuddling, but I also love a cuddle with her.

I'll have a look into how to do the controlled crying and maybe start at 5 months (people say 4 months is too young?) Its all so confusing, and stressing me out (as if being a mum isnt stresfull enough already).

Thanks for the advice xx

Not sleeping is so stressful. For us the controlled crying was about her learning to sooth herself. Which is why we gave her the teddy and comforter. We also made sure she was getting enough milk throughout the day, and this was tough as she wasn't a big fan. And then gave her two feeds, an hour apart, before bed. We wanted to make sure she wasn't waking because she was hungry.

We also had a routine. Baby was much happier once she was used to it which only took a few days.

She’s too young to self soothe. There’s a sleep regression at 4 months so that could be behind the change in her sleep. There are lots of different things you can try without resorting to leaving her to cry. Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s book “The gentle sleep book” is great for explaining the different sleep patterns babies experience and has advice on ways to encourage better sleep.

What Creature said ^ babies need to be responded to and cuddled, especially during leaps and sleep regressions. There is no such thing as a rod for your own back. Keep cuddling!! Your instincts are there for a reason.

4 months is too young to be linking sleep cycles and self soothing. My little boy couldn't nap for more than 45 mins until he was 6.5 months ish I don’t think.

Thank you everyone! Really appreciate your comments and you sharing your advice with me!! Its made me feel alot better and that I'm not doing all this motherhood stuff wrong! Xx

The best book I could recommend is 'teach your child to sleep'. It is full of facts and practical suggestions. Whilst it does explain cc I think it does not recommend until 6 months and gives you lots of other options too. We saw it as a gradual process just like learning any other skill. Some babies find it easier than others but you will get there in the end! Do what you feel comfortable with!

Babies don’t “self soothe” at a few months old they just give up crying. Using self soothing in this context is a euphemism people use to make themselves feel better about leaving their baby to cry.

Suggest you read The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read.

Comforting your crying baby is responding to a normal maternal instinct.

Oooh the 4 month sleep regression!! Been there 😁 At night we swaddled our little one and she seemed to take well to it even when she woke for a feed. But she didn't start to self soothe till about 7 months onwards when we put her in her own room.

Two days of controlled crying and she'd cracked it - our bonus is that she sucks her thumb to self soothe (never really took to a dummy).

As for naps in the day I just used to bang on Netflix, surround myself with food and let her nap on me. She hated being in her Moses basket other than when we were all going to bed together!! 🙄😁

My daughter is 13 months and still doesn't self soothe. She gets cuddled/fed to sleep!

She has a long morning nap, a short afternoon nap and generally sleeps 11 hours at night. I'm scared of rocking the boat to be honest.

I'll probably continue until she doesn't want me to... my son decided to get himself to sleep at 12 months so I'm clutching at straws it will be soon... 🙄

But I agree it's probably a sleep regression, it's bloody hard but mentally you just need to have no expectations and then it's easier to bear!

our bonus is that she sucks her thumb to self soothe (never really took to a dummy).

Mine did too.

And still does sometimes. (She’s nearly 9 )now.

The four month sleep regression is a stinker. Honestly I wouldn't fight it, it passes before long and things will settle again. If she wakes and won't settle back, get her up, make a brew, feed, change, play and rock back off when she's had her awake time. There is no point in stressing out about self soothing or creating bad habits. Right now she just needs you to hold her and soothe her. She'll get back on track.

@MoreSlidingDoors I did too as a child 😁 gave up when I was about 6!

Our little one only sucks her thumb when tired so I'm hoping it won't turn into a constant thing, like me!!