My 18MO still doesn't sleep

[mude]

It's fighting sleep never nap and every bedtime
Wakes multiple times a night just shouting about nothing
Can someone please help
I just tried controlled crying but he worked himself up so much he vomited so now I have that to deal with
I'm so done with this
Please help

Sounds over tired. Could you get him to sleep in his pram then he might not be as tired at bed time and settle earlier?

@SS1987 seems unlikely an 18 month old would fit in a pram!

I'd keep going with controlled crying (maybe leave it for tonight though!), he needs to learn to settle himself

You sleep in a cycle. It starts with non R.E.M. sleep. This is a heavy sleep. Lasts about an hour.
You then go into R.E.M. sleep which lasts an hour or two ish.
After that you partially wake. You stir half awake. You check you and your environment. It's at this point that you could wake up. If you need the loo, your cold , your other half is snoring etc. If nothing has changed you don't wake up and go straight back into non R.E.M. and the cycle continues.
If your babies environment has changed they'll wake. Eg in your arms now in their cot. Light on now off. On the bottle now not. Dummy fallen out. Downstairs now in their cot. You in room now your not.
They need to be asleep how they went to sleep.

Also how does your child self sooth. If you rock them, rub their back to sooth them they have not learnt to self sooth.

To fall asleep your brain needs to produce a hormone called melatonin. You can not fall asleep without it. The dark is a trigger for your brain to produce it. We do a 15 min bedtime routine in a dulled room so the brain associates producing melatonin with the routine as well as the dark. That's why you're told to do a routine.

If you're not already do a routine. It will take a few weeks to start working.

Don't do controlled crying. Do rapid return.
Do the routine. Have a saying. Like. Night night sweetheart. Lay him down and leave the room and shut the door. As soon as they cry go in and lay them down. Say nothing and leave. Repeat repeat repeat. Do not give in. He will know you will always come back but it's not getting him anywhere. Once you decide to do it do not give in. It will be hell for four nights. You may go in 40 odd times. But do not give in.

It works but if you give in they learn how far to push you.

seems unlikely an 18 month old would fit in a pram!

Seems to me glaringly obvious that pp means a pushchair/buggy/whatever you prefer to call it when it doesn’t have a bassinet attached.

OP I don’t do sleep advice as I’m really no expert, but I wanted to add that night waking and difficulty falling asleep at 18mo is very very normal. Fine to look for ways to improve it if it’s not tolerable for you, but if it’s at all reassuring (as it is for some!), your toddler is behaving normally.

(I’m about to night wean my 16mo in the hopes of better sleep. I err on the very gentle side of things, but I’m struggling with tiredness so giving this a try to see how it works out for both of us.)

No advice but I'm right there with you. I went to my health visitor for help last week and they are sending me a Hv who specialises in sleep to do a home visit. Haven't heard from them yet, but might be worth a try.

@Choice4567 obviously mean pushchair but I’m guessing you knew that

I never did controlled crying, I don't like leaving my DS crying when I don't have to, yes he needs to learn to self settle but will do so with other methods and in our own way and a bit of when he's ready thrown in.

I did more of a return method, with nighty night sweetheart, big kiss, leave the room, then returning by just placing him down and continuing to do that.

To start with he was back up shouting before I had even left the room, so return back to him and place him down with no talking, it feels like you are doing it a million times to begin with, but for me that was OK as he wasn't upset but got the idea.

It then became less times of laying him down and his sleep massively improved.... For 3/4 months, then he hit 18 months and it all went to pot for 3 weeks, then settled back down again.

If he is just shouting in the night and not upset, what happens if you leave him to it ?

I call what I put my 2year old in a pram???!!,!!.?.

Mine doesn’t either, so watching with interest. Turns out his older sister was less hard work than I thought at the time.

@SS1987 no sorry thought maybe you'd not seen the age and were advising based on a small baby. My mistake. Apologies all.

Thank you so much for your replies everyone
@rosedream thank you for yhe information, especially about the sleep cycles/hormone release.
The joke is, he has a really good bedtime routine (following on from his 3YO sister)
I remember when she was little (maybe about 12months?) I thought to myself I need to teach her how to sleep by herself. So naturally did the dim lights and soft voices and teaching her to lie down and stay still and quiet and relaxed to fall asleep and it worked a dream, I didn't know what any of these sleep techniques were called because I didn't need them!
So I tried to do the same thing with my son.. didn't work. And have now tried so many of the techniques and none worked ! Controlled crying really was my last resort and I haven't tried it again since. We've been on holiday so all plans have been halted for now as husband is here every night to take over and give me a break !

Actually come to think of it. The best night sleep he had on our holiday has been when he had a huge amount of nap time in the day: maybe he is overtired and I need to increase naps?

Daytime sleep and nighttime sleep definitely go hand in hand imo. DS is 19 months and has only slept through for the last couple of months. As someone else suggested above we did rapid return with him. It was hard work, it took about a week and then another week of having to go in to him occasionally later on but it's been life changing. He now goes to bed on his own and sleeps all night. He's also napping better in the day - increased from 1hr to around 1.5hrs, not loads I know but both of mine have always been awful day time nappers.