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Sleep

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Original poster

Crying before sleep

23 replies

ellasmum · 21/08/2002 19:38

Hi..

I have managed to get my 19 week DD to go to sleep on her own ie. without feeding.

However, she quite often cries for a little while before going off to sleep. Sometimes it is not at all, other times 5 minutes and sometimes for longer.

The crying is usually not very hard and more moany than anything else.

Does anyone else experience this? I don't do anything differently on the nights she cries for a long time so am wondering what the problem might be?

OP posts:

calcium · 21/08/2002 20:18

Sounds like you have an ideal baby. 5 minutes of moaning is great! My dd who is 11 weeks howls I have tried for 2 hours to get her to sleep once, going in settling her then leaving the room. The minute I go she screams. Only once did I put her to bed and she go to sleep silently. I do think there is any problem at all, she sounds a very contented baby. lucky you!

calcium · 21/08/2002 20:19

Sorry meant to say I DON'T think there is any problem at all!

Bozza · 21/08/2002 22:08

I think Ellasmum that this is maybe just your DD's way of settling herself, if its just a whingy cry. Maybe when she gets older and a bit more vocal she will chatter herself to sleep!! Anyway you are doing great that she can do this on her own.

Is it possible she is more or less tired on these days?

ionesmum · 21/08/2002 22:26

Ellasmum, dd ALWAYS grizzles to sleep, crying for longer the more tired she is.

MABS · 21/08/2002 22:30

Ionesmum - same for mine exactly.

Ellasmum - well done , sounds like you're doing well

JayTree · 21/08/2002 22:44

Totally agree with Bozza and Calcium on this one - sounds really normal to me. My little one is a happy healthy soul and almost always has a little cry at night.
It may well be other factors affecting her such as how tired she is, if she is slightly under the weather, teething, hot night, over excited, a little thirsty etc. etc. I doubt it is anything you are doing wrong.
The way I judge how to react to my DD?s crying is by the tone more than the length of crying - eg. a little moany, intermittent cry is often when she is tired and a bit grumpy so I leave her to it and she normally falls asleep fairly easily and quickly. For other cries I react differently - crying is just a form of communication and doesn?t automatically mean that there is a problem. Afterall, I moan a lot but that doesn?t automatically mean that there is a real problem every time !! The best bit is that she is actually sleeping each night.. don?t knock it!

sjs · 22/08/2002 05:33

My dd is also 19 mths old and nearly always cries for 5 mins - sometimes just a whingey/moany cry as you discribe, but other times heart wrenching screams of indignation!

It's been going on for a month or so, on and off. As with you and your dd, she has the same routine every night, so it's not that we are doing anything significantly different, but I put it down to not wanting to be separated from us and all the fun. She is however, tired and very much ready for bed.

We leave her to cry for a while and if she hasn't settled after a few mins (max 5) and is still crying hard, we go in an resettle her/lie her back down.

95% of the time though she cries for a couple of mins and then it all goes mysteriously quiet as she has keeled over and is out for the count.
She then sleeps long and wakes up happy, so we have decided it works for us.

Azzie · 22/08/2002 06:38

When she was a baby my dd used to cry for a little bit before she went to sleep. I remember thinking that if she had been our first baby, I would have rushed in there and picked her up, jiggled her about etc, and generally got worried about it - whereas because she was baby number 2 I just thought 'oh, she's tired' and left her to it to drop off.

Original poster

ellasmum · 22/08/2002 08:38

I completely jinxed myself by writing this thread!! Lat night DD screamed for over half an hour and no amount of work on my part seemed to help. I can't decide whether she was overtired and couldn't wind down or whether she just wasn't ready for bed yet?

She was giving all the signals of being tired so am v. confused.

Also, can you tell me if this happens to others as well?? My DD slept through the night for the first time on Sunday and then again on Monday (hurray!!). Tuesday she woke up once and I fed her v. briefly and she went back off to sleep. The problem arose last night when she woke up 4 times and each time I had to feed her back to sleep because I had a blocked duct and was v. keen to get it unblocked before it turned serious.

I am annoyed with myself for doing this though as I have spent the last 2 weeks getting her to not feed at night and settle herself and now think that all my hard work has been wasted in 1 night.

DP thinks that all will be fine again and that DD will eventually sleep through consistently - is this true?? Am I expecting too much for her to sleep through day after day?

OP posts:

Bozza · 22/08/2002 09:12

Ellasmum had the same problem. We had to go to DS 4 times last night after a run of sleeping through since the weekend. Of course, it is worse for us because he is 18 months but better because all we have to do (usually) is pull the covers up/turn him over and tell him to go back to sleep.

It sounds like Ella is doing really well and hopefully if you can get your duct sorted out this should be a temporary blip as she gradually gets used to the idea. I think DS was 6 months before he stopped feeding in the night. So stick to what your doing. I know the disappointment when you think you've got past the stage of getting up several times a night and then it starts again. It somehow seems worse, doesn't it?

aloha · 22/08/2002 09:25

Ellasmum - your dd is doing brilliantly (as I'm sure are you). My ds didn't sleep through consistently until nearly 8mos, but found once he'd done it a few times he was well on the way and any probs were just blips. And yup, he usually whinges and even sometimes yells himself to sleep. I think of it as his way of saying, 'oh, I'm soo tired and exhausted and fed up....'

florenceuk · 22/08/2002 10:16

Congratulations Ellasmum! Sounds like she was a bit overtired maybe, but she is still quite young and I'm sure she will get better. DS (9mths) tends to yell more when things are a bit "off" - like when we were on holiday a few months ago. But lately he has gone down like a dream - yay! Funnily enough I've become more relaxed about feeding "out of schedule" as DS has got older and better at sleeping - I know he can go to sleep without it, but sometimes it is the most comforting thing you can do.

ionesmum · 22/08/2002 14:20

Ellasmum, we still find that dd will go for several nights really well and then have a night of screaming for an hour or more before she goes to sleep. They are becoming less frequent but still happen, it's as though dd gets into a complete state and can't get to sleep even though that's what she wants. Sometimes we can pinpoint a reason but more often than not it's just one of those things.

Original poster

ellasmum · 22/08/2002 17:13

Thanks for your messages!!

Fingers crossed tonight is a quiet one and not a screamer!! It is so difficult trying to work out what the problem is when you havn't done anything differently.

Might try an earlier bedtime. Is 6.30pm too early to be asleep? I find that she is really grumpy after her final nap (usually wakes up at about 4.30ish) having slept for about 30 minutes and that the pre-bath time is quite hard work.

Does anyone else find this and have any tips?

OP posts:

musica · 22/08/2002 17:21

We used to have to pace the room for about 40 mins, with ds screaming on shoulder until he finally fell asleep, but he, almost overnight, stopped this, and now he gives us a little smile and wave when we put him to bed, and then lies quietly until he falls asleep (he is 14 months) - so even if Ella is a bit screamy at the moment, don't despair!

Bozza · 22/08/2002 17:21

Depends what time you want her to get up. My Mum claims to have had all 3 of us in bed (in the same room) before Crossroads (which I believe was on at 6.30 on the original run).

Original poster

ellasmum · 22/08/2002 17:23

She seems to wake up at 6.15 irrespective of bedtime.

OP posts:

Original poster

ellasmum · 23/08/2002 14:26

Aaaargghhh!! Am totally p**d off. DD woke up 7 times last night!!!

She went down quite easily but then woke 45 minutes later and screamed for ages.

Then woke a further 6 times and didn't sleep for more than 1.5 hours in one go.

I am exhausted today. I hope this a blip, I am going to be tough again this weekend and not feed her in the night - didn't have the energy for the crying last night so kept feeding her back to sleep.

I hope it gets better as I really can't carry on feeling like this.

OP posts:

ionesmum · 23/08/2002 17:16

Hi, dd decided to stay awake until 2a.m. although she did sleep after that. Just wanted you to know you're not alone!

I think dd has bad days when something new is introduced e.g. yesterday we tried breakfast as well as lunch and dinner.

Original poster

ellasmum · 23/08/2002 17:20

Thanks Ionesmum.. It is good to know we are not alone at 2.00am (and 3.00am etc..)

Am trying to work out whether I am putting DD down too early at night. She gets so grumpy at about 5.45pm that I assume she is tired and start bath etc... She usually has had a short nap at about 4.00pm. Am loathed to keep her up too long in case it makes the screaming worse.

OP posts:

aloha · 23/08/2002 19:49

Oh, it takes me back. As I have said endlessly, ds didn't sleep through really until nearly 8mos, but is now the sleeping angel to end all angels. Up at just after 7am, then asleep for an hour between 9am and 10am, asleep from 1.20 until 3.15 and back to bed at 7.15 without a peep. I never thought life could be like this when I had a baby who woke very 20 mins (at his nightmarish worst). There is hope!

ionesmum · 23/08/2002 21:46

Ellasmum, I have no idea if you're putting your dd down too early as dd sometimes goes to bed between 8 and 9 but is usually up again by 9.30, has her last milk any time between 10.30 and 11.30 and then...well, sleep could be any time! We do get into a pattern for a week or more but then something will upset it; however, things are better than they were. I find that weaning disrupts dd's routine the most. Then when she's had a late night she wakes late and the next day is out, and so on.

Things will get better for you soon, I'm sure.

ionesmum · 23/08/2002 23:13

Hi! just thought you'd like to know that dd is perched on my knee even as I type...

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