What to do about 21 month old DS?

[User24689]

Hi all. DS always been horrendous sleeper. Posted about him before. V short history is he woke hourly until he was about a year old, then went to two hourly but would not settle without boob.

Weaned him a month ago and he sleeps SO much better. He sleeps through some nights but most nights cries for me in the early hours, I bring him into bed with me and he twirls my hair until he falls back to sleep until morning. This is AMAZING, relatively speaking.

Two issues remain: one is he wakes up super early. Between five and six. Occasionally before 5. Can't get him back to sleep, he's raring to go. I'm prepared to accept this is just the way he is, unless anyone has any wisdom.

Biggest issue: he hates bedtime. We have set routine of bath, bit of quiet play, books and sleeping bag and then bed. He cries when he sleeping bag comes out. I take him into the room, sing him a song, sway him a bit then lie him in his cot. DH and I then take it in turns to go in and stand by bed, patting occasionally, asking him to lie back down etc etc but it can take an hour. All the while 4 yr old DD is waiting, exhausted, to go to bed because they share a room.

What do we do about this? I have never wanted to CIO but is this the only option now?

We put him down about 7.30 btw. He's usually asleep by 8.30. he goes down for his one nap somewhere between 11 and 1 and sleeps for about 90 mins. He is very active and definitely physically tired. He runs round the park after DDs preschool pickup every day, sometimes for a solid 2 hours!

Hopeful bump?

Hi @upthewolves I have a DS (1) who thinks that 3am or 4am is a wonderful time to be up & at em eventhough he's WAY too tired. I've done the PU/PD method with him first but he's too heavy now and from tonight on I'll be trying the CC it's a bit more genle than the CIO but it's going to be hard a few days. I don't think my answer is very helpful but I couldn't read and run so to say. hopefully our little ones soon sleep on and through the night

You could try shortening his nap to an hour?
Is there any chance that he cries when the sleeping bag comes out because he dislikes the sleeping bag? Or the cot?

A few thoughts:

1. between 5 and 6am isn't that uncommon for toddlers. My DS commonly woke at that time, started getting up later once he'd dropped the nap.

2. if he hates his bedtime routine, you need to reset it. Maybe use a blanket instead of a grobag? Start reading a different number of books (we did this and was surprisingly effective). Drop the singing or sing something different. Change the order in which you do things.

3. I'm not a fan of controlled crying, but you could try a halfway house. I used to stay outside DS's room for small periods (1 minute etc) and then lengthen them as time went on...

Thank you all @Peaches2018 thanks for the solidarity, can you let me know what you did and how you got on? :)

I have tried shortening the nap and cutting it altogether. For a little while, he seemed to be dropping the nap and went most days without it. That did make bedtime easier. But since he's been sleeping properly at night he seems to have picked it up again and now is impossible without it. It's odd, but I figured that this is him in a proper sleep routine. Which is good.

We went without a sleeping bag last week as it was so hot, just a thin blanket. But just coming into the bedroom sets him off it seems. Especially for nap time.

I have thought about taking the side off the cot and making it up like a proper bed. I'm just a bit nervous because he shares with DD who is in a high cabin bed and he can climb the ladder, just about. I don't think he would try it in the night.... But you never know. It might well be the first thing he tries on waking in the morning! Tricky.

But yes changing everything up in some way might hold the answer. Thanks for the ideas

Oh and thanks Allie I had thought that the early mornings might be expected. I guess it's just that if he isn't falling asleep til 8 or later, 5 seems really really early! My daughter (4) usually does about 11 hours overnight but he's getting 9 or 10 most nights. He does another 60-90 mins in the day but still doesn't seem like much sleep for his age.

Hi @upthewolves Well yesterday was very surprising I'll tell you!! Normal evening routine, normally in bed and have gave a little moan. I was outside his door, timer and everything ready!! He just moped a bit, banged around the cot bed a bit, suddenly sits down, lies down and goes onto his tummy and asleep
In the late evening he woke up to feed (we're in a bit of a growth spurt now I think) so I fed him and put him back to bed with a simple night night. He was fine for 10 minutes, got a and had a teeny cry. Put him down, rubbed his tummy while saying shhhh and I moved step by step to our bed. Within minutes both of us were asleep!

Today he fell asleep earlier in the morning and we went out so I have to see because he's fighting his sleep a bit by having a talk show in his bed while yawning every minute or so