Help me to sleep train

[MaverickSnoopy]

9mo DD3 has always needed a lot of help getting to sleep and recently the old tricks have stopped working.

Previously would give formula followed by a bf and then when she was asleep would put her in her cot. She now categorigally refuses her formula pre nap (has it in a beaker at other times) and so I end up bf'ing her but she won't unlatch or be put down at all. She will literally now only sleep in the day if held.

I cannot do this as I have a 3yo and 7yo and will soon also be childminding. I have a very small window to sleep train. What can I reasonably do with a 3yo and 7yo downstairs waiting for me?

She's just started self settling at night (perhaps from daytime exhaustion where she now not napping enough) but categorically will not be put down in the day - doesn't help that she's currently going through seperation anxiety.

I have tried the gradual retreat/disappearing chair but it wasn't working. Tried for an hour consistently for a few days and had to get back to my other children. I could have persisted but wasn't making any progress and felt that continuing would be fruitless due to other children cutting the gradual retreat short.

Have briefly tried leaving her for a minute and then settling and repeating but it just made her hysterical - probably due to seperation anxiety.

I know I need to be consistent. I have sleep trained 2 other babies and did so by being consistent but I feel that my time is limited.

Any suggestions? What have others done with multiple children?

Oh and I've been trying for the last couple of months to get her to take a dummy - just not happening.

Are you single? Can your partner help?

www.laleche.org.uk/letting-babies-cry-facts-behind-studies/

No I'm married - my husband is out the house at work between 6am - 5pm ish which obviously means he's not around when I actually need help. He puts the older 2 to bed so I'm able to dedicate my time to DD3 at bedtime - but ironically she seems to be self settling at bedtime. See has awful hayfever which is flaring up atm, but that's only been the last couple of days and this has been going on for a couple of weeks.

I know she needs the sleep because (hayfever aside) her eyes are red and she's unhappy. I have to do something because at the moment I don't really have any way to get sleep into her without holding her in my arms (oh and in a dark and silent room), which obviously impacts my other children and will stop me from childminding, or her napping at all.

I'm just stuck at how to do this logistically. I have other constraints (school run out of hols, space, health issues of my own) - I don't want to waffle on though.