5 yo still waking up most nights!!

[Anyonebut]

Hi,
I am really at the end of my tether after almost 7 years of sleep deprivation.
DS 1 was a horrendous sleeper, particularly as a baby. However, from around 3yo he started to improve gradually and by 4.5yo would reliably sleep the whole night.
DD 1 was not as bad as a baby (although the bar was not very high TBH), but still wakes up, anything from 1 to 4 times per night as a 5 year old. Some nights she does sleep through, this can be a few nights in a row, bit there seems to be no pattern of improvement and you never know whether or not she will slkep through, wake up once or wake up 4 times.
I had planned quite a few things for today and I'm trying to be a better parent and improve certain things, but after being woken up 4 times last night I don't have the energy to actually follow the plan.
Anybody else had this? What can I do?

What happens when she wakes up?

Watching this with interest. My 5 y/o DD was an amazing sleeper until she turned 3. Tried getting up and putting her back to bed but her tantrums at 2am weren't ideal in a terrace house...

What happens when she wakes up?

Whrn she wakes up I go back to her until she falls asleep again....

Hi I feel you. I really struggle myself getting back to sleep sometimes taking up to two hours other times I dont bother hence why Im messaging now! Woken at 3.30am with a 'nightmare', tried until 4.30 to sleep then got up and had a massive cry...I also feel like a letdown but surely a well rested mummy means a happy child - then why is it there are no articles about helping mummy back to sleep let alone why your child is waking every night! Sorry in full rant mode...only had 4hrs sleep and this is after a couple of weeks of frequent wakings sometimes even 3 times in one night! Very tired and frustrated...

I have had 1 night of uninterrupted sleep (from DD) this week by promising her something if she didn't wake me up, although, TBH I think it was a fluke because I have tried that before and it didn't work.
Unfortunately, like you @Tiredmummy2019, I then couldn't get back to sleep for almost 3 hours.
I don't know if my body clock will ever recover from this....

Have you sent her back to her room without following her OP? Its likely shes waking up as shes checking if you are still in her room

@OnlyFoolsnMothers, she doesn't get out of her room, but if I don't go to her, she sreams the house down....

i would propose going in there and settling her but not staying in the room until she nods off. Yes she will scream and cry and it will be a battle of wills but its the only way to try and tackle this.

I think you're right and I'm going to have to take a different approach. I guess niw its the best time since at least they are off school (will see if I can get DH and DS to wear ear plugs the next few days...)

good luck OP- i know sleep training is hard but if you know they dont physically need anything, i.e. arent thirsty or wet etc.. then the tears and screaming are just for show

Hello, I have no pearls of wisdom at all but didn’t want to read and run. I absolutely feel your pain. I have 2 year old twins and my boy is a terrible sleeper. My girl started sleeping through at 11months but we never felt the benefits as always having to get up with him. He started sleeping through at 18months which lasted about a month but what a joy that month was!! We thought we could get our lives back! It didn’t last....! Now, he wakes every night, crying hysterically till we bring him in to our bed. Some nights he’s wide awake for hours before we can get him back down and we’ve never worked out why, now we just accept that we’ve made a terrible rod for our backs and he’s waking purely because he wants to be in with us. But the alternative is to leave him to cry and no one to get any sleep (including neighbours). They share a room so we’ve never been able to do controlled crying with him because it would be too unfair on my sleeping daughter. Most days it feels like survival rather than living. I stupidly assumed we’d have our sleep back once they hit one year or thereabouts, and at this rate we’ve given up hope of ever getting it back. I feel like a useless parent and I’m at the stage where I’m embarrassed about the situation because it feels like everyone else in the world has kids that sleep. So... no tips to help you, but know that you’re not alone!!