5 month old fighting bedtime

[Candycats]

Looking for some advice please, husband and I are at the end of our tether

5 month old DS used to be a good sleeper until the 4 month regression hit. He now wakes at least 3 times a night but we can cope with that - the issue is trying to put him down at bedtime as he's constantly fighting sleep! We have had a consistent bedtime routine of change, massage and breastfeed in a dark, quiet room for weeks now. He used to fall asleep on the boob but this hardly ever happens now so husband walks around rocking him to get him to sleep. The problem is DS is now either crying and thrashing around in his arms or acting wide awake and babbling (despite the fact he's clearly tired) for hours upon end - yesterday this went on for over 2 hours. We're starting his bedtime routine as soon as he starts showing sleepy cues but maybe we're leaving it too late and he's becoming overtired? I try feeding him again when he starts getting upset to see if he's still hungry but he usually isn't. He is teething at the moment but even after Calpol on the bad nights he's still the same. We've tried white noise which doesn't seem to make a difference either.

Does anyone have any brilliant words of wisdom? It's exhausting and exasperating and we just end up getting stressed at each other

Very similar situation here - my daughter is five months and has just gone from being a good sleeper (would settle herself and sleep 11ish hours, maybe needing her dummy putting in a couple of times and one bottle max). However the last few nights she's just howled when we leave her to go to sleep and we can't console her without getting her out of the cot. Have ended up taking her for walks to get her to sleep and then gingerly transferring her into the cot. And then she's waking almost every hour 😭 I'm exhausted!

Sorry not to be more helpful, but hopefully I can get some tips too...

Five month olds don't know when bedtime is. Let them sleep when they want to, don't try to stick to a routine. It'll happen in their own time.

No words of wisdom but I wrote a near identical post only a short time ago and I also have a friend going through the exact same thing. It's fucking exhausting. 💐

Yep

Same here. Hoping he'll grow out of it soon!

With all due respect @Petitprince my daughter very much likes her routine. We don't stick to it rigidly but she's much happier when her day follows the usual pattern! She's definitely ready for bed when we're putting her down, she falls asleep within minutes when we resort to the pushchair.

I think for the time being we'll just do what we need to do to make life easy for ourselves... can't face sleep training!

Thanks for your replies everyone, I'm sorry there's a lot of us in the same boat but at least we're in it together! Fingers crossed this is just a really shitty phase!

How's everyone getting on? Things seem to be getting worse rather than better here 😭 takes a good 40 mins of walking to get her to fall asleep in the pushchair now. Plus she sometimes wakes up when we transfer her to her cot. The heat probably isn't helping! I feel like we have totally wrecked our old routine by giving into her. Wish we'd done sleep training or something. But can't really face it 😭

@detachablehoof we've had 2 good nights this week where we figured out rocking him/carrying him was just pissing him off (probably because he was too hot) so put him in his cot awake and patted his bum/rubbed his back until he went to sleep. Took a long time but worked! However tonight is a different story but understandable because of the ridiculous heat! Sorry you're having a hard time, hopefully once this heatwave is out the way things will get better 🤞🏼

@detachablehoof also I know what you mean about sleep training, the thought has crossed my mind so many times but I just can't bring myself to do it, feel like I'll scar him for life!

Please don’t sleep train, she’s way too young. You will just create even more problems for yourself and have a very distressed baby who doesn’t understand why she has been abandoned. (I say this as someone who has gently sleep trained at a much later age).

It’s very normal, DD is 20 months now and I still look back and shudder at the 5 month old bedtime struggle. It will pass, it’s a phase, just do what you need to do to get her to sleep. This heat and teething also won’t be helping at all. Just be consistent with what you normally do and it will gradually get easier again.

I found 5mo the absolute WORST for sleep - DS fought it so hard, every nap was a battle, bedtime was a battle, he'd wake for 2/3 hours in the night....nightmare! Around 6mo things took a huge turn and he massively improved. I think it's a developmental phase - it will pass! Good luck in the meantime.

I feel like we've taught her to be reliant on a walk to get her to sleep now though need to break the habit at some point.... but I guess I'll wait until she's stopped fighting sleep so much.

Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone though

Try just putting him down and leaving him to it, too much messing/patting etc sometimes annoys them! Teddy/blanket/dummy for comfort. Even crying can mean "leave me alone" not "pick me up"

I agree with TooMinty.

But it is difficult when you are used to picking them up and being able to cuddle to sleep. I only convinced myself to do it by realising that overall it worked out as less crying. Now he's 6 and can only sleep in complete silence and darkness, by himself. Unlike his brother who likes nightlight and audiobook and sneaking into our bed!