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6 year old DS always dreams of 'bad things'

5 replies

LMonkey · 20/07/2019 23:16

I wasnt sure whether to post this on Sleep, behaviour and development or even child mental health to be honest. This evening when I was putting DS to bed he told me that he has bad dreams every night. When I asked what exactly these dreams were about, he reluctantly told me that he dreams about people in his family dying, and then went on to tell me that there are strangers in his dream, bad men that hurt his loved ones. He talks about 'dreams' but it sounds like these are not just dreams but also thoughts while he is awake, from the way he is saying it. He said he doesn't like himself because of his dreams, and I reassured him that of course it's not his fault, and that our dreams are caused by things that we're scared of or that we've seen , or just completely random things. I asked if he had seen anything bad on TV that could have caused this and he said no, but he remembers seeing or hearing about something from a newspaper when he was little (my mum is the only person who brings newspapers in to our house, and perhaps she talked about an article in front of him, is the only thing I can think of).

This wasn't the first time this conversation has occurred, it has happened a couple of times before. But I never want to probe him too much on it, in case it makes things worse. Tonight though he seemed quite emotional about it and I can't quite convey how worrying and serious it felt when he was telling me, to the point where I was thinking, is my child messed up? Is he going to have psychological issues when he's older if this shit is in his head now?

Then I think is this my fault? I won't deny that I am one hell of a stressy mum. I seem to shout. A lot. I get extreme PMS and I am trying and struggling to manage this. I worry so much that I have f**d up my own kid and the damage is done and can't be reversed. I love both my kids so much but I admit I do struggle to deal with DS at times.

Any advice would be so much appreciated

OP posts:
Yellowweatherwarning · 20/07/2019 23:21

My dc have all had dream catcher hanging things since tiny. And ds used to have a pillow that unfolded to be a monkey. Told him it works to keep bad dreams away. Can you give him examples of things that are make believe and things that are real?
Explain the dreams are made up but not by him because he is asleep!
Worked wonders.

LMonkey · 20/07/2019 23:31

We've done dreamcatchers, night lights, nice music, the standard stuff to encourage nice dreams. I just can't help but worry, because of the specifics of what he is dreaming about and how emotional he was when he told me, that it is a far deeper and worrying problem.

OP posts:
LMonkey · 20/07/2019 23:35

Also just to add, i would find it very difficult to tell him that the things he is dreaming about are make believe or to even reassure him that it could never happen, when actually the things he is dreaming about are very real and do happen (even though I would never say that!) But at the same time I can't deny it either, can I?

OP posts:
Tiredmummy2019 · 31/07/2019 05:39

Hi I don't know about the subject of his dreams but I can relate to you on the getting upset and shouting at wakeups...Im working through issues of pretend nightmares for attention and how to resolve them...its very frustrating when you're so tired each day...

barryfromclareisfit · 31/07/2019 06:12

I’m sorry he has bad dreams. I’d co-sleep with a worried child, but you probably don’t.

Bad dreams. I can empathise. Last night I dreamed about Boris Johnson. Really. He was on the run from the police.

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