Balance between baby sleeping in daytime and going out and about?! Nightmare!

[gerbo]

I'm having real trouble finding a balance between going out (shopping for couple of hours/coffee/lunch with a friend) as it seems to throw my baby girl (15 weeks) out totally. She doesn't nap much anyway (50 mins stretches three times a day) and if we go out (say leave the house at 1130 and return at 3/4) it ruins 2 possible nap times. She won't sleep in the pram much, so by the time 5pm rolls around she's completely overtired and has a tantrum. What can I do? How can I encourage more napping? Am I being selfish to expect to be able to go out at this stage??????? Shall I only go out once a week? So frustrating! How can these mums I see around on Oxford Street shopping ec. do it??!! Advice????

Muslin over front of buggy to block out light/distraction?
Someone else will have more ideas I'm sure.

I would say you have two options. Either organise your days around her nap times if she is sufficiently predictable or just accept that you're going to have a tough evening on days when you want to go out. I always thought babies slept quite easily in prams because of the motion, but I don't know because I always carried ds in a sling and he would pass out wherever and whenever he was tired. Not very helpful, I know, but maybe try a sling?

Will she not even sleep if the pram is on the move? I think going out is hugely important to a new mother's sanity. DD needed rocking vigorously in the pram but would sleep in it. Will she not sleep on you while you sit in a comfy cafe having a coffee? I sometimes used to take DD in a sling and she would sleep on my front while I chatted.

I second the sling. I can only use mine for a ltd time because DD is guaranteed to nod off in it and stay nodded even when she should be feeding.

Hmmm - I would definitely try a comfy sling and also keep trying the pram for naps. (Is she facing you? maybe too much stimulation?) Definitely think you MUST get out and given there's often only a couple of hours between naps at this stage, you can't avoid being out at nap time!

I had the same problem my DD has never really like sleeping in the pram. Max she would ever sleep is 45mins in the pram but would sleep 1.5hours in the cot. She used to sleep so badly at night that I decided to sacrifice going out and work around her naps. Now she sleeps through her daytime naps are all over the place... but at least I can go out for lunch - I meet friends early say noon and then either be home or in the car by 1.30pm. All I can say its only for a short while.

I have the same problem with my ds, he doesnt sleep a lot in the day at the best of times (about 40 mins in morn then an hour after lunch and 40 mins in afternoon) but if we go out this all goes to pot! He is 24 weeks now and has had the same sleep pattern since about 12 weeks- The times I have driven home like a mad woman chattering away to him trying to keep him awake in the car or else he nods off for about 10 mins, wakes when I stop the car and then thinks he has had about 2hrs sleep!! There is no way I can get him to have a sleep in his cot then. I have just resigned myself to this fact, if I go out, I take the risk that his sleeps may be messed up. Sometimes I let him have a catnap at about half 5 if he is really grumpy but just for about 15 mins as this then keeps him going until bed time at 6.45ish but is not enough to make him wide awake at bed time
hth!

We need more info! under what conditions will she sleep in the pram? e.g. likes noise and bustle, needs silence, needs movement, no movement etc etc........

I had this problem with ds. Prams really didn't cut it for him for sleep and I have
to admit this was the main reason I found his baby months so difficult.

Ds slept so badly generally (including nights) that in the end I gave up trying to go out for more than 1-2 hrs at a time for a few months as when he got tired he was so whingy it was awful and he was tired a LOT.

It was incredibly restrictive and I'm not sure I'd do it again but ds's sleep improved a lot so my sleep was better and I felt more cheeful despite being indoors more.

Ds did sleep in the pram sometimes if he was walked for an hour or more, if it was really quiet (not easy to walk for an hour in the quiet when you live in a city) but it was never for more than 20-30 mins and he would ALWAYS wake up crying and unhappy.

I find his toodlerhood so much easier as we don't have to be so restricted by his need for sleep. Also my incredibly easily woken baby has turned into a toddler who sleeps through anything and even falls asleep in the car (again something he almost never did unless you had been driving for an hour or more and not always then). So there is hope

I too use dto see mothers out with sleeping babies and wonder how come mine didn't do that .

What I did in he end was try and always be home at least once for one of ds's naps and on some days I tried to be home for most of them. I have to say though my abiding memory of those days is the constant clock watching to see if I had enough time to do something before ds kicked off and I had to go home so he could sleep.

Wow - wasn't sure I'd get a response but thanks everyone - some great ideas.

More infor - she likes the sling but only facing outwards, which is stimulating, so she doesn't sleep. In the pram she jumps at each loud noise, which is weird as we live in noisy London and she hears noises all the tijme in her room, but sleeps through in her cot. So the max she ever gets in the pram is 45 mins.

Think I may try the sling with her facing me, and hope for the best. Think I may have to resign myself to her being grumpy then, as I can't stay in 24/7.

Good to know others are in the same boat though - thankyou!!