Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

16 week old sleep driving me crazy!!

5 replies

BlossomBlue · 17/07/2019 21:34

Hello, fairly desperate first time mum here.

My baby is a darling, and I love him very much, but his sleep (or lack there of) is driving me bananas!

Over an average 24 hours, he gets a total of 11-12.5 hours sleep. I know this isn't enough for his age, and I am so worried and desperate for him to sleep more.

He will go to bed (usually fed until he is nearly asleep and then put down to nod off on his own, but sometimes we do end up feeding him all the way to sleep or rocking him) between 7/8. He will usually manage a solid 5 hours, but after this stretch he wakes frequently, at least 4 times, and then wants the day to start at 6 ish. Previously he would sleep so much better than this at night, so I'm fairly sure he's having a sleep regression.

My tactic has usually been to feed him back to sleep for night wakings, because until recently I was sure he was hungry. However now I really don't think that he's waking due to hunger, so I'm worried about feeding him to sleep and reinforcing this sleep association. However at 3am I will do anything just to get him back to sleep! When he wakes up he's generally not crying, just awake. I haven't had success in settling him back to sleep without feeding or rocking.

So the night sleep is not great (in comparison to a few weeks ago where he'd only wake once maybe twice, and only to feed). But the thing that's worrying me more is the absolutely rubbish napping in the day! At absolute best, he will nap for 30 minutes. Often it will only last 15/20 minutes. I make sure that as far as possible all of his naps take place in his cot, with black out blinds and white noise. I generally rock/sway him to drowsy then try to put down just before he's fully asleep. Occasionally I manage to sooth him just by placing my hand on his tummy and it stroking his head while he's in the cot. Often though he will cry or simply not settle unless he's rocked first.

He doesn't sleep in the pram. He might sleep in the car, but only for 20 mins ish, then wakes up and SCREAMS to be picked up.

I'm pretty sure it's all to do with sleep cycles and him not being able to settle himself back to sleep when he wakes up. I'm just at a total loss as to what to do to help with this. He's not getting anywhere near enough sleep and sometimes he's so overtired he's beside himself.

I feel like I've really messed up his sleep for him and I feel a bit hopeless. I've asked various mum friends and they all seem to have babies who nap very happily!

I feel like I've googled to death and tried so much, but have got nowhere. It's really getting to me now. I feel like I'm letting him down.

Has anyone got any advice or experience please? Help!!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
KippaxMumof2 · 18/07/2019 09:25

What happens when he wakes from a nap after 15/20 minutes? Is he happy or does he wake up crying and tired? Will he feed back to sleep at that stage? Both of my babies used to regularly wake from naps at 30 minutes. If they were happy I would let them stay awake but if they woke up grouchy I would generally feed them and they would often drift back off again.

It sounds like you have well and truly hit the sleep regression. I wouldn't worry about feeding or rocking back to sleep at night time during the sleep regression. I know people talk about not reinforcing sleep associations like feeding to sleep but in my opinion, you have to do what ever it takes to survive the 4 month sleep regression! I fed back to sleep at night time with my first baby until they were 6 months old and then we started proper sleep training. I read somewhere that they aren't really old enough for proper sleep training until that age? Regardless of whether or not that is true, it only took us 1 night of training at 6 months to get him sleeping through the night!

BlossomBlue · 18/07/2019 15:58

@KippaxMumof2 thank you, you're right, it does feel like a case of survival! Poor poppet just had his 16 week jabs too, so for both of us feeding to sleep is 100% on!

After his mini naps he sometimes wakes up happy, in which case, like you, I think fair enough and get him up. But sometimes he wakes up crying and usually feeding and rocking can console him but not get him back to sleep.

Rationally I know this won't last forever, and I don't want to wish away any of the time while he's still my tiny baby. But after weeks of terrible sleep everything just feels so much harder.

OP posts:
londonmummy2019 · 20/07/2019 12:30

@BlossomBlue I feel your pain! I was in the exact same position as you when my DD was that age...she's now nearly 12 months.

DD would only ever nap for 30 mins or 45mins if lucky during the day..twice a day usually. I tried to feed back to sleep as well but no luck.

Her naps got better around 8 months - 90 mins to 2 hours. Sorry I know it seems a long way off but like me, it seems like you're getting ok sleep.

It will get easier!

BlossomBlue · 21/07/2019 12:26

Thanks @londonmummy2019 - it gives me hope! My mum keeps gleefully telling me what a terrible sleeper I was as a child, she reckons I was dreadful until I started school so I have seriously got the fear! 8 months seems a lot better than 4 years so 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

I write this as I am trying (and failing) to settle him for a nap for the one hundredth time today. He's slept for a total of 6 hours since midnight and it's 12.25pm 🤪

OP posts:
MixedCouple · 25/02/2022 10:06

I know this is suoer old now but for anyone else that comes by this. Bad Sleep is not inherited. I was am amazing napper and night time sleeper Hubby too.
Mum said I slept through thr night and put myself to sleep with no crying at 4 months. Same with hubby he also chill baby.

Our son on the other hand is not a chill baby he is hyper aware, sensitive, persistent and high needs. He needs to be parented to sleep (Dr Sears) I.e rocked, bounced. Walked, nursed. He needs that at night also - nursing suffices when he wakes every 1.5 - 2 hours.

The Sleep times is average snd just like adults some adults needs a lot less sleep. So text book may say an average but don't treat your baby like a textbook or apply what works for others for your baby.

My son is 16 weeks old and always been a little tricky with sleep and this is worse but gota roll with it - parenthood - it's what we signed up for.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread