How do I help my toddler switch off at bedtime?

[alltalknobaby]

DD is 2.5 and has always been a great sleeper. She sleeps all night and still has one nap after lunch.

At bedtime, her routine has remained unchanged for about the last 12-18 months - tea, bath, books and bed by 7.30. Her room is dark, she has a nightlight, her cuddly toys in bed, lots of cuddles before bed etc.

The last few months, she has started really struggling to switch off to go to sleep - it can take 2 hours of chattering, singing, playing, crying, shouting, needing a wee, needing a drink, etc - she is just totally wired. I try to cuddle or sing to calm her, but she can't stop talking, fidgeting, playing, jumping, and so on - it's like her brain is just still going 100mph. She is naturally very energetic, a bit hyperactive, and this does get worse when she's tired.

I've tried reducing her nap time so she's more tired, I can't cut it out altogether as she is desperate for a nap by 1pm. Even half a hour nap results in the standard 2 hours of bedtime messing about.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Have you tried making her bedtime later? Even half an hour later could make a difference, it did for my DD when we had similar problems.

Are....are you talking about my son??

Honestly I could have written this to a T.
DH and I always have tea once he's in bed so usually around 8:30ish and he will not switch off! 2.5 years old, very energetic, chattering, singing, asking to have a wee for ages!

Definitely following for some advice

Same! 2.5yo bounces off the walls for 2 hours before I can even get her into bed. Drives me bananas. I tried cutting out her nap and yes she went to sleep at 7.30 again, but the 3 hours leading up to it were one massive, over-tired, overwrought tantrum. I decided I’d rather suck up a later bedtime of 8.30 for a happier afternoon/evening.

What GMtobe said. A later bed time will do the trick, it really is best not to have too many strict ideas about settling down times. Children are individuals.

I'm reassured and exasperated at these replies I was secretly hoping someone would come along and say "duh! It's obvious! You need to ...". Sigh.

I've tried later bedtimes. 7 has turned into 7.30, sometimes it's 8, sometimes 8.30, maybe I just need to give up on the idea of having an evening? Urgh though. I am a firm believer in routine and in children going to bed at decent times, for their own sake but also, a bit, for mine

They will be dropping their nap soon, once it's dropped this stops, don't worry. My least favourite development was the in between nap/no nap stage.

Also, kids tire out quicker if you make them do "thinking," type things that use hand eye coordination- duplo, play doh etc. Things we think of as calm just kind of put them on hold, so no screens. After stories, have duplo time and they become aware it's hard/they're tired. Good luck

If eliminating the nap isn’t an option then don’t push it. They tend to drop it when they’re ready. My 3.5 yr old hasn’t napped since she was 2 but now on the very rare occasion that she sleeps during the day a 20min nap does the same damage as a 3 hour sleep so I just let her crack on snoozing and I enjoy the peace!

I found books in bed had to be changed to books in a low lit living room for us. Books in bed got her too excited, her imagination would run wild and I would spend an hour going back in while she asked a thousand questions about the stories.

I hope it all sorts itself soon. Good luck!

Honestly you are going through the awkward nap dropping transition! My eldest was the same. Any nap at all meant a 9.30 sleep time. I am afraid the only advice I can give is to just not allow a nap and accept a possibly hard work afternoon and an early bedtime (6.30) or let the nap happen but accept a late night!

Once the nap goes it will improve and normal bed time will resume I am sure so don't lose too much hope!!

It's nap transition I'm afraid. I'd bite the bullet, cut naps, move bedtime a bit earlier for a while if possible and you'll probably see an improvement within a week.

I’m afraid you are not getting “me time” with the 7.30 bedtime so why not accept a later bed time and not let it upset you? It isn’t the end of the world and possibly better for all of you.

Mine never went to bed at 7.30. 8.30 right from the start to avoid very early wake up times DH and I didn’t want! It’s also light outside and probably doesn’t feel like bedtime! Also wear your child out! Lots of activity before tea or bath. I made myself feel better by telling myself a child that’s awake is learning! Probably rubbish but we read for ages before bed and encouraged games and non active play before bed.

Thank you everyone for the excellent advice. So very helpful.

I am not keen on dropping the nap completely just yet - she desperately needs it still, the meltdowns start at 11.30 😬

She is very active at nursery and when she's home with us we make every effort to run her little legs off, lots of outdoor activity and fresh air. I will start introducing more "thinking" activities too.

Starting tonight we will try books before bath so that we are not stimulating her brain too close to bedtime.

Here's hoping 🤞🏻

No nap, honestly. My dd ( 2.y4m) is so hypo always on the go and does get tired after lunch but I just get her some fruit or start dancing with her or pop outside so she doesn't fall asleep and then she's fine, so then by bed time shes knocked! I stopped her having a nap a good few months ago. I put her to bed at 6pm ( tea by 5, wash or bath then pjs toilet teeth cup of milk )she's normally asleep by 6.15pm ( she wakes around 6.45am -7am) if she falls asleep in the car while out then it takes longer for her to fall asleep obviously, the nap is the problem am afraid ( in my opinion). Good luck

I'd say the opposite. I think she needs an earlier bedtime, I think what she is showing is being overtired. Does the bath wake her up, I had to move bath time for mine as it started to have the reverse effect. I would also keep the nap and then make sure she does something physical in the afternoon.

BubblesBuddy Mon 15-Jul-19 16:57:20
I’m afraid you are not getting “me time” with the 7.30 bedtime so why not accept a later bed time and not let it upset you? It isn’t the end of the world and possibly better for all of you.

Mine never went to bed at 7.30. 8.30 right from the start to avoid very early wake up times DH and I didn’t want! It’s also light outside and probably doesn’t feel like bedtime! Also wear your child out! Lots of activity before tea or bath. I made myself feel better by telling myself a child that’s awake is learning! Probably rubbish but we read for ages before bed and encouraged games and non active play before bed.

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I did much the same, it didn't bother me having little one around in the evening, we still did what we wanted to do and he often amused himself for a while. When he was falling asleep he went to bed.

We have a hyperactive 2.5 yo and she’s just the same. She generally messes around doing gymnastics in bed or finding spurious reasons not to go to sleep (“my hair hurts”) until 8:30 / 8:45. If she doesn’t have a nap she’s a nightmare - she carries on tearing round like usual but constantly hurts herself as she gets clumsy. I spoke to nursery about whether to cut her nap short or ditch it but we agreed not to. I think it’s still important for them to nap at that age, but I agree it’s frustrating when you just want some peace and quiet in the evening.

If it’s some consolation our 4 yo who no longer naps passes out at 7 - 7:30 while her sister messes around. Last night she even took herself to bed at 6pm and slept through until 6:30!