Controlled crying advice

[Finndod]

We are planning trying controlled crying this weekend as our last resort to help our little one (6 months) & ourselves get more sleep. He has been fed to sleep and/or rocked, every nap through day on me (45 mins max with frequent wakings sometimes & resettling required), night was in cot for most part of the night with frequent wakings (latterly hourly). Now he won't even settle in cot so we are co-sleeping but still waking 1-2 hourly and usually has boob to go back to sleep. Bedtime can be 2 hours to eventually get him settled after several waking up after being put in cot/back on boob etc.

1. Has anyone in this similar situation tried control crying?
2. Most of the night he is comfort feeding on boob to get back to sleep however still think at this stage he requires 1-2 night feeding- anyone else still fed through the night when implementing CC and does this confuse them?
3. Did you tackle bedtime, through the night and naps all at once i.e putting down awake and not feeding to sleep?
4. If you were successful with CC how long did it take to work? If I can even get past the first few minutes how long do u give it before u give up if they aren't sleeping (obviously going in at different timed intervals) but if they are not asleep in couple hours then do you stop?

Hopefully someone who has tried this method can help please...

I did cc (well , a slightly adapted form )and it worked very, very well for us...However ds was night weaned first, self settling for naps and a year old. I'm not sure it would work with a 6 month old because I don't see how you could be certain your baby didn't need feeding. I also think that going from bf on demand and Co sleeping to cc and fed by routine would be too much of a jump for such a young baby. Will your baby take a dummy?

I think a lot of members on here are against CC on a young baby, so I'm not sure if you'll get much advice on that front. However, have you tried the pick up/put down method?

My DD (almost 6 months) would only go to sleep for a while if she was rocked in her moses basket. Obviously, as time went on that became increasingly difficult to do as I already had back problems and it was too heavy to do for 15 minutes at a time. So one day, I just said I wasn't doing it anymore. So I tried pick up/put down (or at least my own version of it).

I lay her down in her cot when she was settled and due a nap. Walked away. She'd begin to cry, I counted to 10 seconds each time (just incase she'd resettle herself), then walked over, picked her up and rocked her until she was settled again (not asleep, just content). And repeat. The first time it took around 30 minutes, but eventually I put her down and she just dozed off. It will take a while for this to work in the long term, but it's really helped our DD as now it only takes a few pick ups on a bad day before she's asleep. Sometimes none at all.

I'd try this first. I'd also recommend having a process of elimination before bedtimes or naptimes. For me, I made sure that:

• all naps and night-time sleep happened in the same place
• the room was dark and had white noise on (if anything, just to minimise the noise of us walking around outside the room)
• she'd had her feed for that time of day/the day
• dry nappy just beforehand
• if she's teething, a bit of teething gel on her gums
• the room at the night temperature for her and her sleeping bag/blankets

I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm pointing out the obvious, but sometimes it only takes one little thing to stop him from drifting off. At least when you've went through everything and you're keeping it consistent, you know he's just fighting his sleep rather than something else bothering him.

By doing all of this I also managed to stop needing to feed to sleep, too. It's almost worth having a few tougher nights and resolving the niggles like feeding to sleep, etc, than needing to do it later on down the line. I also found a dummy to be priceless, although I know a lot of mums are against them. It's a personal choice- it just helps our DD sooth herself without needing a bottle 24/7.

Good luck, though! I know how tough and lonely those sleepless nights can be, and it will get better. x

I should of stated please no criticisms of using this method. Thanks

Unfortunately no dummy or bottle. Thank you so far for the advice. It was actually the HV who recommended this, although I know they are so little and need their mummy but I feel if this works it will be helping baba as getting up 6-10 times in the night is not healthy for anyone .

I moved my son to his own room at 7m as his nights were shocking. He was a lot better (for a while at least) I think I disturbed him, and as a light sleeper I woke easily from him and this helped.

I don’t think CC is compatible with feeding during the night, and I do think babies need feeding at night at this age. My daughter was a good eater and I still heard her tummy rumble for a feed at night until about 18m. I night weaned my son at 14m. Wouldn’t have done it before that.

I think six months is far too little for controlled crying, sorry. I don’t like it as a method at all but I understand you’re feeling desperate. Pick up put down might be more fair. Controlled crying a co sleeping baby seems like it might be very confusing.

Cc has worked for us with three children. And it hasn't been a terrible ordeal - literally one night of it, and that's that. I suspect we're lucky though! DD3 is proving a little more tricky and still needs night feeds, but generally I can pick up a difference in crying for milk vs crying because she's woken up accidentally. I've found with all 3 that getting them into their own room is the game changer. I react less quickly because it's a bigger hassle, and they're not disturbed as much and aware I'm so close.

I think if you're not night weaning then you need to make sure that your not feeding to sleep the first time, and preferably do something (quick but different) after rather than immediately putting to bed after a feed. That way once the self settling is sorted (from bed time controlled crying) you know that crying in the night will probably be needing an actual feed as otherwise they should self settle.

Admittedly I didn't do controlled crying as I was happy to rock to sleep, but breaking the feed to sleep cycle at bedtime massively reduced night waking, and at least i knew when a feed was needed.

I did CC with both my children but they were both just over 1 at the time. For me it was a miracle and worked in 1 or 2 nights. I hate it when people say it's cruel because both my children were so much happier once they started getting better sleep. I truly believe I gave them a gift by teaching them how to fall asleep without me picking them up etc. The transformation was really quite amazing. Also they didn't feel abandoned as I was there every few mins. They were just crying in anger because they wanted me to pick them up.

Not my experience but my sister does CC with her kids. With her first it worked beautifully and they have slept well ever since (now in school). With her second it seems to me they are constantly having to do it every time she goes through a development, gets a tooth etc etc. This is the reason I won't do it as I don't want to have to repeat it and all the crying every few weeks! :(