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How to get high needs baby into cot?

3 replies

Liland · 09/07/2019 08:48

Sorry this is long, wanted to include all the info :(

LO is 5.5 months old. He has reflux, CMPA and a feeding aversion, so we've created some bad habits out of desperation to just keep him fed and then keep that milk in. Sleep method has not been a priority as long as he's getting it and I'm getting it!

I'm trying to transition him to his cot. Right now, he goes down in his co-sleeper cot (tilted for reflux) if I go to bed with him, or goes down on the sofa (again, tilted for reflux) if DP stays up with him, at 7-9pm. He has one small dream feed at 12-1, then comes into bed to co-sleep with me after that as he doesn't settle well during the second half of the night.

He has no set routine because of the feeding aversion - he will only be fed when sleepy otherwise he will willingly go hungry. We're up at 5-6am, he feeds around every 3 hours, whenever he's ready for his next nap. This routine is disrupted by projectile vomit (usually once a day at a random time), then he wants feeding again within 30 minutes followed by a nap. He feeds to sleep, and is put down fine for naps (usually 45 minutes, once a day 1.5 hours) on the sofa (I'm with him all the time) or on me. It would not be possible to enforce the kind of bed times I see others have (6 or 7pm) without him missing a feed that he has no interest in making up later.

Now he can roll easily both ways and likes sleeping on his side or his front, his co sleeper is too small and keeping him up, as he doesn't have enough room to roll over. DP is also pretty keen to have us sharing a bed again. We're both working full time (me from home - my employers are happy for me to have LO here with me during the day) and we're both light sleepers, so we've been in separate beds since LO was born.

He hates the cot. He wakes immediately when I put him in it fast asleep when he wouldn't wake if on the sofa, bed or co-sleeper. He wails straight away. I'm scared to let him wail as he easily makes himself sick, and given how hard he is to feed, it's just a nightmare for me, and not nice for him. I'm also an unexpectedly soft touch (didn't see that coming) and hate to see him cry ever.

I don't know what to do or how to get him used to it. I didn't think parenting would be easy, but it feels like it's just one never ending battle just to keep him fed, and I'm really running on empty now. I've only in the last week managed to get him feeding with me sat down. Any ideas on how to handle this please?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
firstimemamma · 09/07/2019 08:53

No practical suggestions but didn't want to read and run. Hope things feel better for you soon Thanks

SlowMoFuckingToes · 09/07/2019 12:02

Get an Ikea cot and look up the hack to attach it to your bed. It worked really well for us and our two reflux babies. It will give him his own space and you and DH your own space but you still roll over to offer some comfort. Sleep on the cot sheet first so it smells like you. To get our used to it I used to shuffle into the cot with half my body.

Liland · 09/07/2019 12:14

LO doesnt sleep in our bedroom, I sleep in LOs bedroom until he is settled in the cot and past the SIDs guidelines age. DP would not be able to sleep in the same room as LO as he is too noisy. If co-sleeping with DP and LO was an option I'd just bring LO into our master bed!

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