Help! Baby will only sleep on me

[orchid1234]

My baby is 4 days old so of course I dont expect everything to be perfect yet but I'd like to get a couple of hours sleep! By this point I'm hallucinating that I'm talking to my partner when hes not even in the same room as me. Baby will not settle for sleep anywhere but on me, I've tried having one of my tops tucked into the mattress with him, putting a hot water bottle on the bed and blanket before placing him in. Had a good hour or so of this working in his moses basket yesterday but since this hasnt worked 😫 is there anything that's worked for anyone? I have a next to me crib though I wasnt planning on taking the side down, would this be something to consider?

I mean this gently, but could your partner not cuddle him to sleep whilst you nap for 3 hours?

Most babies don’t sleep well for several weeks (or longer) so if your ff get your partner to step in do a feed and rock to sleep. And if your bf, then get your partner to watch you when you feed lying down and remove baby when you’ve finished. Mine used to watch us sleep to ensure if I moved then baby was still safe.

Look at safe sleeping guidelines and co sleep. Honestly I was so against it but my 6 week baby refuses to sleep anywhere but in my bed and I’ve just accepted it for now for an easier life

Sorry I didnt mention that! He will sleep on my partner too and we did try doing 'shifts' but he fell asleep holding him so now I'm constantly worried about not being around incase he did it again

Set up a safe sleeping environment and cosleep. Sometimes that's all you can do. This is normal and babies won't be reasoned with.

Swaddling worked only for a week with my little one. Have you tried it?

I know you're knackered but your voice and heartbeat is the one he knows best. He feels safe with you and partner.

Have you got family/friends that could come and let you get some kip?

It honestly does get better and congratulations

Aw four days bless. Yes I went in the middle of the bed and co-slept with ds1.

Ahhh your partner needs to step up and honestly do proper shifts until he goes back to work.

Send him to bed for a few hours so he can return the favour. If you have family support could one of your mothers come around to hold baby and let you both sleep? Or a friend you really trust?

My husband also fell asleep looking after baby, I ended up asking the MW to explain just why it was so dangerous to him as he wasn’t listening to my concerns. He definitely took the piss and had several nights where he could have taken baby as he was up playing on his phone but I think around day 11 he suddenly realised just how badly his selfishness was affecting me. And then he stepped up and did the 10-1am slot. I managed on 4 hours a day for a bit then got 5 hours, getting one chunk of 3 hours made the difference for me though.

I have a next to me crib though I wasnt planning on taking the side down, would this be something to consider?

Yes! I don't really see the point of a sidecar crib unless you're using it to snuggle down as close to them as possible? It's not a perfect solution, because you still have to get them down onto their backs, with you next to them/around them rather than under them - but they're more likely to settle with you close (whether in a sidecar or bed-sharing) than on their own in a Moses basket.

Also at this point, assuming your partner is still off work, you need to work as a tag team! One of you has the baby, while the other either does the bare minimum of essential jobs (laundry if you're running out of clothes; make sure you're fed) or sleeps.

I have been looking into cosleeping but I'm honestly so scared to try it, especially on such little sleep but its definitely something I need to look into
I was going to try swaddling but for the 5 minutes he actually stays in the moses basket he likes to have his arms right up so I was worried about it frustrating him and getting him more worked up

I think I read somewhere ages ago that keeping their arms about their head is a way of regulating their temperature but dont quote me on that. Mine used to do it all the time.

Swaddling will probably stop him feeling startled. Even if you just swaddle the lower half. Everything's new to him and you. Really hope you get some well deserved zzz

I had some baby swaddle bags that hold the baby's arms up by their head, so in the position they naturally adopt but suppressing the startle reflex. The brand is Love2Dream Swaddle Ups. Seemed to work for my second. Good luck.