Handling bedtime gently with a 3.5 year old and 13 month old

[user1474565301]

Does anyone have any tips on how to make it easier to do bedtime with my 3.5 year old and 13 month old? I'm doing it on my own, as my partner works away 5 nights a week.

Currently, I bath them together, get nappy, pj's and sleeping bag onto baby, then pj's onto toddler. We read a story all together, then I feed baby to sleep while toddler waits next to me on my bed. My 3.5 year old girl is very energetic and gets hyperactive when overtired. Whilst I'm feeding baby to sleep, my toddler does anything she can to get my attention away from baby, including putting feet up on the wall, jumping on the bed, talking loudly, trying to jump on me, etc.
I'm trying to follow gently parenting, but this behaviour REALLY pushes my buttons and I often end up shouting, which I don't want to do.
How can I improve this situation?

You may have to put her to bed first? I put 2 and six year old to bed before 14 week old as it's less stressful that way x

Yeah my 3.5 yr old could not manage waiting quietly like this. And my 9m baby could never feed to sleep with big sister carrying on like that beside her! No wonder you feel shouty. We used to put big one to bed first and little one had to wait, her overtiredness was a big issue so now we are giving big one cartoons while I put wee one down. Not ideal but all we can do. I only have to do it alone one night a week tho...

Put the older one to bed first. Possibly feed baby to sleep in toddlers room?

I'd be putting older one to bed first - does the older one need you to fall asleep?

When I was still feeding DC3 to sleep DC2 was happy to fall asleep independently providing I was in the room which wasn't a problem as they were sharing. DC1 (who was 2 at the time) knew to stay in his own bedroom looking at books/quietly playing with toys in bed until I was available to come and sit with him whilst he fell asleep.

At first he'd come in and try and distract me much like the way you've described but he soon realised I wasn't going to engage with him other than to say 'go back to bed and wait for Mummy there please'. It took a few weeks but he gradually got used to it and now just waits for me in his room.