Can I ask your sleeping arrangements with dh/dp's?

[gebs]

My baby is 6 weeks old. I do most to all of the nights as my dh works and this is fine, luckily my dd has been very good with sleep so far (generally goes down in her moba basket after a bath at 8, sleeps til 1/2, then until 4/5, might have the odd bad day but fairly good at settling after a feed).

My dh and I have been sleeping in different rooms whilst he's gone back to work so he gets a good night. Is this common? I'm interested to know what others do. Now while dd is in a good place we all tried sleeping in the same room and he's left to sleep in the spare room after her first wake up. While it's lovely dd is good, i do miss my dh, but he doesn't see the point in us both being awake when dd wakes (he's a very light sleeper)

What are your arrangements?

I am grateful of sleep

But I do miss my dh!

We sleep in the same room but I take DD into the spare room when she wakes.
He sleeps through her stirring so it works for us.

Yes this was the only way for us. DP done Sunday-Thursday nights in other room for work and then took over for me on Friday and Saturday nights. Unfortunately this went on until 7 months old as my boy just wouldn't sleep more than an hour at a time :( by the sounds of it this won't be the case for you ! We made it through though and at 1 year DS is now in his own room

Does he get weekends off? I would insist he's in with you Friday and Saturday nights as he has no excuse then. That's what we did with dc1. With dc2 we have no spare room so no choice but dh soon rolls over back to sleep when I am feeding as is not feeling like he is lacking sleep.

When do you get a night off to sleep though? Does your DP not swap with you on weekends?

DP still in same room but i've done pretty much all night wakes for 15 months. Longest ever sleep has been 6 hrs 3 times in DDs life. I'm the working parent, DP is SAHD. It's been really hard but had to be this way because of bf and DPs health. If possible for working parent to have proper sleep on work days, and give SAH parent a break on days off that's amazing. Sleep deprivation is grim. As long as you try to look after each other it will be ok.

My husband works 9-5 office hours, so he does have weekends off. We've tried a few different ways at weekends and he has offered to look after her all night (she's formula fed) but luckily I've not felt the need yet as she is quite good atm. Plus if he was to do the night shift, I'm not sure we'd all be in the same room still. Last night was the first time being altogether since his paternity leave and i was hoping he'd be able to go back to sleep after the feeds but he's such a light sleeper he's slept the worse out of us all!

I feel bad I want him with us for my own needs (I just miss having someone sleep next to me, I sleep better with him here) but at the same time he's doesn't see the point in two people being awake for the feeds as he will wake up no matter.

We all stayed in the same room and my DH had earplugs, so he’d sleep through the baby grunting/being changed/etc but I could still wake him if I needed to.

We all stayed in the same room apart from the odd night DH stayed in the spare room if really tired, I did occasionally as well to catch up on sleep. DH would change her nappy while I done her bottle, always told him not to as he had work and needed to rest but he was desperate to help out and hated seeing me tired when he had to leave for work. He’d mostly sleep through her stirring etc so it was fine

We had a few nights where DH slept in the spare room especially if he was starting early - so up at 5am - DC is now 3 and has only just started sleeping through the night (although not last night 😬!) and I would often sleep in DC room

But I had to go back to work full time when DC was 20 weeks so we sacrificed "good practice" just to be able to get sleep (DC slept with us until a couple of months ago and didn't do cry it out/controlled crying etc)

I did miss the closeness of sharing a bed together at first but now sleep is the priority!!

DP commutes 2 hours each way Mon-Thur and is a grumpy sod on poor sleep, whereas I'm used to crappy sleep as an insomniac. So me and 9-week DD in bedroom Sunday-Wednesday nights, DP on sofa bed; he joins us Thur-Sat night (WFH Fridays). This gives him the energy to take a colicky baby off my hands in the evening the second he steps through the door.

But tbh he's as disturbing to share a bed with as DD! At least she sticks to her allotted sidecar crib space. DP snores, burritos in the duvet, clamps it with his arm if you try to loosen it, talks in his sleep, seems barely aware we have a baby when I prod him to do a nappy…

My kids are 5 and 2 and DP and I have slept in separate rooms for years as ours are such crap sleepers. DS (5) won’t sleep in his own bed at all now and so is in with DP every night. DD will go down in her own bed and even occasionally sleeps through but if she wakes she wants me and screams til she gets me. So she comes in with me as I don’t want to be up all night settling her again.

I’m used to it now tbh. I actually enjoy the nights that DD sleeps through and I get the bed to myself!

I think that’s a fairly typical arrangement. We were all in the same room withDC1 which was tough. I moved into the spare room with DC2 and that made life so much better. As he got older I began starting the night in our bedroom but moving through after the first wake up. It was probably several months if not years before I returned to our bed full time. Actually even now if one wakes I take them to the spare room!

My DD is 10 weeks and on a similar sleep pattern to your LO.
My husband is a heavy sleeper (DD can be screaming and he'll sleep through it sometimes) so we have been in the same bed since she was born. I do all the night feeds too as he works, now and then he'll get up early with her if I'm really exhausted but otherwise I prefer to do the night feeds as I'm such a light sleeper so I would wake anyway.
Not sure it would work but could your partner maybe try earplugs and then when baby wakes you could do the feed in the spare room? That would maybe minimise the disruption for him?