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Sleep

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Original poster

Very specific problem!

21 replies

SecondTimer2019 · 27/06/2019 09:20

This is my first time posting so please be gentle.

DS2 is 11 weeks old and we are having a terrible time with sleep.

Nighttime: he will generally go down reasonably easily around 7/7.30 or 8 if it's a struggle. Have to either feed him to sleep or rock in rocking chair. He will sleep soundly in cot until anywhere between 11pm and 2am. This is basically the only sleep I get.

When he wakes I feed him and pray he feeds to sleep. I hold him until fast asleep and put him down. After about 20 mins, he starts grunting and straining every few minutes until he wakes again (usually 2-3 hrs). I then feed him again but can't get him back in the cot so put him beside me in bed but neither of us really sleeps. I don't think he actually wants to feed, just something to suck. He stirs every couple of minutes and usually wakes fully by 5ish. I can sometimes get a dummy in but have to hold it there (tried different kinds but he can't keep it in).

Daytime: I haven't managed to put him down for a nap for about 6 weeks'. Even before that he grunted, strained and cried through every nap. He was having all naps in the sling but I was exhausted walking all day so am now managing most naps in the rocking chair (I don't get to nap).

He stirs all the time, wakes snorting and looking for boob and wants to feed during EVERY nap. I can't get him to have a proper feed when awake.

I struggled with oversupply the first 10 weeks. Although it has calmed down now, I have a very fast letdown, which he doesn't enjoy. I try to feed him on waking but by that point he's snacked so much during his nap that he doesn't want it. I have tried and tried to break this cycle.

I'm exhausted, often getting only 2hrs sleep a night and trying to keep a wakeful baby who won't feed to sleep quiet (I also have a toddler). My husband got up at 5am to rock him in the rocking chair but even that doesn't really work.

I don't really know what I'm asking. Why is he so uncomfortable and grunty? Does anyone know about lactose overload? How can I help (and me) get more sleep? He wants the nipple constantly during naps but I'm never actually sure he's hungry and he won't take a dummy. I am constantly doubting myself. Please help.

(,I thought he had a good feed before his current nap but he woke after 30 mins looking for boob and is now having lots more).

Argh!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 27/06/2019 09:23

OP posts:

badb · 28/06/2019 00:55

I’m sorry you haven’t had any replies. I don’t have much advice but my baby was very similar. People will tell you that constant feeding and not wanting to be put down is normal, which I’m sure it is for lots of babies, but mine wasn’t very content and seemed to be in pain a lot of the time, so I didn’t think that was normal. We went through the whole reflux medication process but honestly I don’t think it was that. I also have a very fast let down and I think it was giving him a lot of gas pain. Lots of people suggested dairy intolerance and I did quite dairy for a while but it didn’t make much difference. He did mostly grow out of it, but it was probably around seven months really before he did. Solids helped; learning to crawl even more so. He is eleven months now though and some nights he seems to still struggle with wind, will go rigid and stiffen up, eventually fart, and then settle again. We are seeing a gastroenterologist next month to get him checked out, so we’ll see. I would recommend the GP route to check for reflux etc anyway, to be sure. Lots of people have success with osteopathy (we didn’t).

He’s still a terrible sleeper, needs to be fed to sleep (which really doesn’t help the digestion issues he has), wakes every hour or so, needs constant motion when napping etc. I also have a toddler, so I empathise with you. According to my Fitbit I average 3hrs and 42 minutes a night. It’s horrendous.

Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 28/06/2019 03:34

Thanks for the reply. Not what I wanted to hear! Currently holding him in bed while he sleeps on me (silently, which I can't understand).

We've had gaviscon, but may go back to GP. I'm also trying colief in case it's lactose overload. And I've been dairy and soy free for about 6 weeks to no effect.

Ppl keep recommending osteopathy, so maybe I should try that, although I thought it was quackery...

Would love to hear what the gastroenterologist tells you. Although hopefully by then we will have seen an improvement!

OP posts:

Limpshade · 28/06/2019 03:49

I've had two reflux babies and the grunting and straining sounds familiar. IME reflux babies don't really "do" feeding to sleep - if mine ever did fall asleep, they'd wake up soon after upset, uncomfortable, vomiting, or all three.

Both ended up on omeprazole but even then I wouldn't "let" them fall asleep. Reflux babies need to be held upright for at least 10 minutes after a feed. It did mean I ended up doing a bit of rocking to sleep - I sleep trained the first one out of that at around 7 months (once I was completely sure the reflux was not still an issue) and the second one I did a gradual withdrawal method with at around 10 months (she's much more cuddly, whereas the eldest wanted to be left to get on with it and would get cross with all the comforting!)

Might be worth seeing the GP?

Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 28/06/2019 07:03

Thanks, Limpshade

I think I'll go back to the GP and see if they can prescribe something stronger than gaviscon.

I really appreciate the response. Sleep deprivation is such a lonely place.

OP posts:

Limpshade · 28/06/2019 07:27

I hear lots of good things about Gaviscon but it gave my first daughter constipation (didn't give it to the youngest) so that we were really just swapping one problem for another. Best of luck. I know it's awful when you feel you've spent all the energy you have, and it's not yet 6am. It's a platitude to say "it gets better" but it really does, honest. You're doing the hardest bit and you're still surviving! Make time for little treats - your favourite biscuits, a walk you personally enjoy, some window shopping, etc.

KippaxMumof2 · 28/06/2019 13:03

How does all the grunting relate to his poos? Does it tend to get better after a poo? Our baby can grunt and endlessly hunt for the boob if he needs a poo. This used to last for hours until we figured out why he was being so fussy. Now instead of giving him the boob straight away if he wakes up fussing shortly after going to sleep I spend a few minutes doing cycling motions with his legs and it usually results in a big poo!

peachgreen · 28/06/2019 13:21

Definitely sounds like silent reflux to me - my DD was the same (she also had a dairy allergy). Omeprazole and dairy-free helped massively - Gaviscon made things worse. Hope you get it sorted, it's horrible!

GenevaMaybe · 28/06/2019 17:41

My baby had silent reflux and a floppy larynx and she grinned and strained all night every night until I put her on nexium and special hypoallergenic formula.
After that she was much much better.

GenevaMaybe · 28/06/2019 17:41

*grunted not grinned! I wish!

Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 28/06/2019 19:24

The grunting doesn't necessarily seem directly linked to poo. Although quite often he'll strain while asleep in my arms and then fart. I had really bad oversupply initially and it made him so windy. I thought that now I'm no longer engorged it would help him. He's a lot less windy but still so unsettled at night.

Went to doctor this afternoon and got ranitidine. Fingers crossed it does something.

OP posts:

moreismore · 28/06/2019 19:29

Have a look at kellymom about fast let down-it can cause these types of problems

plinkyblonk · 28/06/2019 19:42

@SecondTimer2019 sounds like reflux my wee one was the same. We got gaviscon but it made her constipated. So we tried a thing called carabel it can be added to bottles to thicken the milk it worked wonders for us.

zombiethread · 29/06/2019 20:49

Sounds like my baby

Co sleeping is saving my sanity! He sleeps well at night but terribly during the day which results in a lot of overtired crying...
We started on omeprazole last week.. hope the ranitidine works for you!

MiniMaxi · 29/06/2019 21:00

I was going to say reflux too (or silent reflux if there isn't much vomiting).

Ask your GP for ranitidine - people often find it more effective than gaviscon

Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 06/07/2019 09:58

Well, it's actually got worse. He now only goes down for a couple of hours at night and the rest is a mix of trying to feed him to sleep or holding him in the rocking chair.

He's now refusing to feed. Barely fed all night and I don't know what to do any more. He's been on ranitidine for a week but I'm really not sure that reflux is the problem. He is incredibly farty. But I've no idea if that's the problem either.

Now just really worried about his growth. He's been a big boy up to now but I feel like he's not feeding at all. I think he has a feeding aversion from my fast letdown. He only latches on properly when already asleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 06/07/2019 10:03

And it's hard to get a hungry baby to sleep

Been back to the doctor but they just say colic and that he'll grow out of it by 3 months. Well, he's 12 weeks today and if anything it's worse.

OP posts:

peachgreen · 06/07/2019 11:20

Have you cut out dairy? This is exactly what my CMPA baby was like - a real feeding aversion.

Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 06/07/2019 11:42

Yes! For about 8 weeks now. Haven't really noticed a difference. I've been told to try eggs and wheat but I'm not sure I can handle that.

The thing is he's very happy, generally. Can a CMPA baby be happy?

OP posts:

Original poster

SecondTimer2019 · 07/07/2019 09:53

Did the feeding aversion go when you cut out dairy?

OP posts:

peachgreen · 07/07/2019 19:52

We were FF by then so it was easier (dairy is in eeeeverything, I feel your pain) but yes, within about a week it was gone. DD was pretty happy otherwise too though hated being flat on her back or tummy, always wanted to sit up. She just hated feeding.

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