Controlled crying

[AussieMum28]

Controlled crying - for those mums who have done it - how long did it take? Any tips or advice?
For those who hate the method, kindly don’t comment on here, I have tried all other methods and nothing has worked. Thanks xxx

How old is your baby, AussieMum?

I did a type of CC you could say. Ds now 7, had never slept more than 2 hours a night from birth to 1 year. I moved him into his own room at 11 months. Did the usual bedtime routine, he went to bed at 7.30 no problem, dream feed at 11pm then he would wake every hour on the hour until 5/6am. I started going into his room laying him back down, stroking his head making shushing noises. I left the room after 5 minutes just outside the door. If he started crying I’d go back in and do the same. Things settled in about a week. I never left him to cry himself to sleep or become inconsolable. There was a lot of crying though. He always knew I would come if he cried but I think he realized he wasn’t being lifted but he would always get comfort from me. It took awhile but we got there
I hope this helps

He's nearly 7 months and basically waking on the hour all night. He's a dream to put to sleep in the first place. He just can't stay there anymore! He used to sleep so well but since the 4 month sleep regression has been a nightmare!

Thanks OkPedro. I never wanted to go down this route but can't keep going like this. Nice to know a softer version of it can work too

I did it like okpedro when my daughter was 8 months old (by which time I was back at work). It took one night. My only regret was that I hadn't done it earlier.

About a week. First night is hardest, and you have to be consistent

I did it when DC was 2, and I did the Ferber go in, lay them down, go out, leave it five mins, then repeat up to 25 mins gap. Took three nights, night the almost broke DH and I and we actually ended up taking the next day off sick as we had had so little sleep over the past few nights.

We dreaded bedtime that night but DC went down and not a peep all night. Other than when they were ill that was it, all sorted.

Good luck!

Be consistent is my top tip. If you 'give in' and cuddle them, then that is absolutely ok and you haven't failed. You can try again next time. But be aware you'll need to start the process again. You don't need to leave them to cry if that feels too tough, try comforting them from standing over their cot, but not lifting them up if that is more bearable. Whatever works for you. No judgement! Good luck

I did it with DD at 14 months. First two nights were bad, third was better, then for about a week she just shouted for a couple of minutes before falling asleep. Then she started chatting to herself and no more crying. She's 5 now and we rarely have sleep issues. Best thing we ever did and she doesn't remember it at all.

DS is 11 months, we did CC at 8 months as he was waking every 30mins in the night, needed rocking in a very specific way (by me only) to go to sleep, and wouldn't let me put him down in the day at all. I was cracking up, especially when he started resisting sleep and head butted me, scratched me, pulled my hair, etc. He took to it quicker than DD, but we do have the occasional off day where he fights it. But mostly it was quick and he's so much happier for it!

(Our method was to comfort in 1 min intervals - so after 1 min, 2 mins, 3mins etc. We decided to repeat 10 mins if we had to, rather than going any higher, but I don't think we ever got above 7 mins with either DC.)

Thanks so much for all the stories and reassurances. I'm up with him now and he's crying but while painful, it's not the worst crying he has ever done and already he is going through periods when his cries quieten down before he realised he should be crying so gets louder again 😂. Here's to hoping it won't take too long!

Also, normally he has a dummy so I've taken that away as it's counterproductive to cc but can I still use it during the day if he is grizzly but not tired or will that just confuse him? He is quite a grizzly child so uses it quite often during the day otherwise I fear he'd cry all the time but I don't want to confuse him by giving it to him during the day and not at night?

Why have you taken the dummy off of him? You're making it a lot harder than it needs to be.
I did controlled crying with a dummy as it helps her to self settle. She also has teddy and comforter.

Deal with the dummy in the future when he is better at sleeping

Definitely let him keep the dummy as you are confusing him!!

But if I have to get up 6 times a night to put his dummy in, he isn't self soothing is he?

I did it last night and just now for his nap and he stopped crying before 9 mins last night and fell asleep within 10 and this morning cried for less than 5 and asleep 3 mins after that. He doesn't seem to be confused about it at all.

He also has Ollie the Owl and a comforter to help him settle.

You shouldn't have to do that with controlled crying. We did cc with our son at about the same age and he still had his dummy. Can't your son reach for his own dummy and put it back in? If he can't then he's probably too young for cc.

He's 3 days off 7 months old so he's not too young and no he can't find it in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to continue as he seems to be going ok for now.

Can't comment on the dummy, our DS never liked them, but we did sleep training at 6 months.

We did timed check-ins, so 2 min, 4 min, 7 min up to 14 min I think.the first night it was 90 minutes, 2nd it was 40, and got down to 5 min after 7 nights. We found getting daytime naps in the cot the most difficult. But that was going from where he would only feed to sleep at night and during the day it was being walked in the wrap, so a massive difference for him.

We don't regret it at all, life is so much better now for all of us. Have a look back at my previous posts and you'll see how desperate we were!

Even if your baby could find the dummy himself, they easily fall out of the cot or it's too dark. So I agree with you OP. I don't see a problem in tackling both together. I think it's good to teach a baby to have sleep associations, not sleep aids. If you do cc with a dummy now, when you want to take the dummy away down the line, you may end up going through a similar struggle. Just keep trying what you feel comfy with.

Thanks CkFa. He struggled to go down tonight. I ended up trying a bottle and he had a bit so might have been hungry. Let's hope he continues to be a star and we can get him sorted sleeping quickly!

Is there any updates on how this is going for you?? I feel like I'm in a very similar situation x

Hi BVtrix. My son is much better at sleeping now. He mostly settles himself though some nights be cries when we put him down but never more than the 7 min mark. Most nights I'm up just once to feed him. Sometimes he will need a little check in or to give him his comforter since he lost it but he's like a different baby over night. Best thing we ever did x