Help! My 2 year old won't go to sleep!

[BelfastSmile]

DD is 2y3m. She's always been a reasonably good sleeper, and has been in a bed rather than cot for a while.

In the past month or so, it has become impossible for me to get her to sleep. I take her up to bed, do the usual routine, and then she refuses to get into bed, screams and cries, jumps back out of bed, generally does everything but sleep.

With DH, she falls asleep fairly quickly, but with me it can take well over an hour. I don't want to leave her in her room on her own as she'll just run about, so I have to stay with her. Often DH ends up taking over and she falls asleep quite quickly.

She is clearly tired, but that doesn't seem to help. I've tried not letting her nap, but that was even worse.

What can I try? DS was a nightmare with sleep as well - he fell asleep ok, but woke up loads - and I feel like I've spent 5 years having no time to myself because all evening is spent dealing with wide awake children!

Following.... Wish I had adviceto share but my 2yo is exactly the same. DH manages better, but for me he's so restless. Can still be there at 9.30pm.

He's my third child, other two weren't as bad. I feel like I should know better but I am at a complete loss too! 😢

It's really hard, isn't it? I actually get to the point where I feel a bit weepy most nights. I just want her to get into bed, snuggle in, and go to sleep. Or lie there awake if she wants; as long as I can leave her!

Is she still napping?

Yes, she naps every day, usually for an hour or so, sometimes more. I can't keep her awake; she seems to still really need the nap. The length of nap doesn't seem to make much difference to her night time sleep; as long as she doesn't sleep past about 3pm (if she does, bedtime is even worse!).

Yes, get weepy here too. I get you. Being in a dark room makes me so tired and grumpy too, any evening I do get after is ruined by that really.

All I can say to myself is 'its a phase!' and soon enough we'll be able to bribe rationalise with them.

Or just get the DH to do bedtime which is my plan!

Also... On a practical level nap, no nap, busy day, quiet day doesn't seem to factor here either at the moment, when in the past those things certainly did impact bedtime.

I assume it is developmental or attachment related.

Hugs. Its crap.

I think it's the time of year - it's light much later. I would go through the pain barrier & drop the nap. I would also consider a slightly later bedtime - maybe try 8pm?

Has she had her second molars yet I found when my sons came in his sleep suffered. Although even now at 3.5 we still get the odd bad night x x

We went through this so I reluctantly dropped the afternoon nap, this made for a grumpy toddler in the afternoon but no probs with going to bed. Could try cutting the nap down to start with....

Yip that nap seems too long. I was having problems a few weeks ago. My girl is 2 and 2 months. I don't battle to get her a nap now as there's a battle at night if she has one. If she does nap, I don't let her sleep any longer than about 40mins. She often has 10/20mins sometimes no nap at all.

We started doing bed time stories which she loves and just cuddles in after and goes to sleep.

I can't stop her napping, though - she'll fall asleep in the car when I'm doing the nursery run, or in the pram, or just lie down on the floor and go to sleep, at about 2pm. A few times I've really tried to keep her awake, but it was a nightmare and made no difference to her sleep at night.

DH is reluctant to move her bedtime back as he doesn't want her running round the living room all evening.

We do stories at bedtime already, and keep it nice and quiet. Her room is pretty dark, though not as dark as it would be in winter.

I do think she's getting her second molars - she has all the signs: strong smelling wee, chewing fists, red cheeks, but no actual teeth yet!

Regardless of what DH wants - if she's not tired because she had a nap then she isn't going to go to sleep any earlier.... he needs to accept this & push back bedtime in the short term. Maybe let her play in her room rather than downstairs? What time are you trying to get her to go to sleep?
My DS stopped napping just after his 2nd bday and would drop off for nap about 3.30 & I just used to have to keep him awake otherwise he was awake til 9/10 pm.

She is tired though because the dh manages an earlier bedtime....

So I’d suggest seeing if your dh is any different.

My dcs settled better for dh because he didn’t allow pissing about. He was stricter than me.

We've had similar lately, dd is 2yrs 3m.
I've found the only thing that works for us is being firm and constantly verbalizing the routine. "After dinner its bath, books, bed ok" then revisiting it as we move through the routine "this is our last book then it's teeth, wee and into bed". Most nights will dissolve into crying and occasionally full tantrum after she's in bed. If/when this happens we put her back in bed if she's out, ask her if she wants to be tucked in, then say "it's bedtime, love you, I'll check on you in five mins". Door gets closed (has a night light) and we only go back at five minutes and repeat. Maximum time has been 45mins but usually only 15-20. For us DD is very much testing her boundaries and negotiating so not engaging in her battle at bedtime has helped. We also give her choices within set boundaries- do you want to be tucked in or untucked, do you want a pat or no pat, and some nights- do you want to sleep on the floor or would you like help back into bed.
But all kids and families are different!

My sons molars seemed to take a long time to come through. It's sounds like your doing everything right. I would carry on with your usual bedtime routine and daytime naps. My eldest still napped until he was three my youngest about 2.5 x

My 2year old started doing the same thing and health visitor advised tweaking routine slightly. I have a rigid routine of bath, book, bed. So I changed it to bath, massage with classical music then bed and it seems to have helped a little. Apparently it is a phase 😭 my boy is taking about 20 mins to settle but was taking an hour to an hour and a half x

Just to say completely empathise with the feeling weepy at night. Am in the middle of bedtime horrors with my 3 yo and it's so draining. Sometimes spend the day just dreading bedtime!
Hope you see a change/ find a solution soon.