My baby’s crying doesn’t wake me up at night. Tips?

[ECDad]

My newborn’s crying doesn’t wake me up at night, which makes me very nervous. My girlfriend does wake up every time, and I want to be able to do the same.

Have you had any experiences with this? How did you solve it?

No experience with this. If you don’t wake up, you don’t wake up! Could you pr girlfriend just give you a nudge so you get up and deal with it while she goes back to sleep? I think I remember reading somewhere that new mum’s sleep lighter and are more easily roused because of the hormones from the birth. Don’t worry, although newborns cry fairly quietly, that won’t last! I bet you won’t sleep through when you’ve got a toddler with ear ache

Just get your Gf to give you a hard prod in the back.
Works every time!

My DH was like you, he can sleep through anything. A few heel kicks to the back always worked for me.

It’s quite common with men, my partner didn’t wake up either! I just gave him a (sometimes violent) nudge

Thanks for these. She does nudge me during the night, but I find myself completely zoned out and confused about what is happening. I’m unable to make sense of what she says, although the messages are extremely simple (like “could you please change his nappy?”). Sometimes it feels almost like sleep walking or waking up drunk. Very strange.

I realise the initial exhaustion from little and interrupted sleep plays a role, but I want to find a way to deal with it.

Best way to deal with it is just to get up. You might always feel weird. You might start waking.

It doesn't really matter. What matters is you wake up/ are woken by your DP and get up to deal with your wee one.

I find myself completely zoned out and confused about what is happening. I’m unable to make sense of what she says, although the messages are extremely simple (like “could you please change his nappy?”).
I think that's normal, at least compared to my DP. I wake up when the baby so much as stirs and know she wants to feed. But when I prod my DP for a nappy change or to burp her while I sleep/run to the loo/hydrate/whatever, he wakes with a mad startle and a "Huh? Whaaaa? Is something wrong? Nappy, whaaaa? Wait, let me just..." then he'll fall asleep-ish again and need a second prod. Later, if he wakes up naturally himself, he'll start mumbling about needing to do a nappy, having forgotten that he has.

I put it down to the hormone thing; I'm breastfeeding and he's not. Hang in there: soon they stop pooing at night and there are no nappy changes!

Haha that does sound familiar. Thank you.

Soon enough she'll boot you into the spare room anyway because it's just easier that way.

@ECDad bless you for even trying!!
My DP needs a proper kick to even stir and then falls back asleep in seconds.

I think it's normal, especially if your DP is breastfeeding, to be more attuned to the baby waking and needing something

It’s a breastfeeding/ Mum thing (unfortunately). I used to get really annoyed with DH though, like he didn’t take any responsibility. Which I know was completely untrue. It’s just a natural thing and why fathers should never co sleep etc. I ended up taking over the nights as Dh couldn’t do anything anyway.

She’ll have to wake you up. You will get used to it.

Btw.. if you’re changing wet nappies in the night don’t bother. Pampers can absorb a lot of wee and it’s unlikely to be making your baby uncomfortable (just something I wish I had been told!)

I think you know your partner will wake up, so your subconscious probably tells itself you don’t need to worry about it.

We all feel confused and weird when we wake up in the night, it isn’t anything unique to you.

Good to know. Thanks for all of this.

I think Mum wakes immediately so baby often does get the chance to go into full-screaming mode which is required to wake Dad.

I would wake, and if I knew it was feed time just get on with it. If I knew it was a hungry cry I would kick DH so that he could deal with it.

And I usually had the spaced out, utterly confused feeling too - just had to get on with it. Sometimes I couldn't even remember having feed DC for 20-30 minutes. It's called sleep exhaustion and is a side effect of having a baby!

*doesn't
*wasn't

seem to have a problem with negatives this morning