First time mom routine newborn

[Momhope15]

Hi first time mom here and it's been quite a journey!
My baby girl is 3 weeks old on Monday and I am still figuring out what to do in terms of daily routine during the day and night. Is it diaper change, play, feed and sleep or diaper change , feed, play and sleep. I have seen the latter often online but don't understand how to put a newborn to sleep after playing as my baby usually (99% of the time) falls asleep on my breast while feeding ... and also what sort of "playing" do you do with 3 weeks old babies??

Errr I fed dd, changed her nappy and then sat on the sofa the rest of the time, either with boob out or eating. There was no playing in the early days! The most exciting it got was watching me wash up.

Honestly don’t overthink this stuff. Everything written is basically designed to make you feel like you’re doing a bad job. You are absolutely not! Enjoy your tiny baby. As they got older it’ll be easier because they’ll be interested in stuff. For now just relax

Play comes later. At 3 weeks “play” is you narrating as you change her nappy.

Eat, activity, sleep can work well once they start to wake up (circa 3 months for my very sleepy DD2!).

I hasten to add that with both my DDs it was more like eat/sleep, activity, eat/sleep.

Congrats on your baby. Enjoy the cuddles and couch-time.

I think I might have tried playing with my bang at this age and they didn't pay any attention haha! In fact, I watched a LOT of films/tv at this stage. Try not to overthink a routine at this stage, just go with what feels right and soon enough a routine will emerge anyway ☺️

My baby NOT my bang 😬

Three weeks is a bit young for a routine. Feed her when she's hungry, change her when she needs changing and put her to sleep when she's tired.

At the moment, she doesn't even understand day and night or that you and her are separate people.

I did nappy change then feed them cuddles and sleep. The 'play' is really just talking to them whilst they are awake or letting them look at interesting things such as black and white images (they can't see colour properly at that age)

As they get older you will notice they begin to spend more time awake and begin to pay closer attention to you and their surroundings which is when 'play' will become laughing, silly voices and facial expressions, showing them objects and talking about them etc.

For now just rest and cuddle lots :)

Mine was mainly feed, baby snooze on breast, feed, baby snooze on breast, nappy change, feed, baby snooze on breast....don't over think it, 3 weeks is tiny, all they really want/need are cuddles and milk!

My DD is 3 weeks also!
I think routine is set by them at the moment and constantly changes so there pretty much is no routine.
Agree with every one else that play isnt really a thing either this early.
When baby wakes I change her nappy and feed her and then she normally falls back to sleep or will have a bit of awake time and then fall asleep later.
Ive been overthinking everything and googling everything but im starting to realise there is no answer and every baby is different and trying to just go with the flow x

@Tayel I did the same! A couple of months in I decided I'd go with my gut for everything and that's served me well so far. The internet is a blessing sometimes but can also make you second guess yourself too.

Thank you for your replies.
Made me laugh some of your replies which haven't done for a while!! So thank you!
I guess it is too early for a routine but was confused about the order of everything that baby needs.
Also I am having trouble with burping. How are you meant to burp a baby at the end of the feeds when he is fast asleep? If I do too long she wakes up and have to feed her again. Which position is best?

My dad reminded me the other day that everything is new to a baby. So sticking the baby in the bouncer to watch you make dinner is play: "Look, it's a potato!"

The best toy is you: my 9wo's favourite game is to have a conversation with me. She lies on her back and coos, I tell her things (potatoes, what I got in the post, that she's an awfully nice baby), she laughs delightedly – especially when I repeat her noises back to her or sing little made-up songs.

I follow the order she sets, mostly: she wakes up rooting, I feed her. She wakes up crying, I figure out why. She wakes up content, we have a little chat or I give her a bath or put her in the bouncer and try to get some chores done. Feeding to sleep is fine; sometimes it gets interrupted by a giant poo, that's also fine. She sleeps on me; I eat chocolate and read the internet.

A vague routine is emerging, based on her awake windows being 45-60 mins long: first window of the day is nappy, new outfit, big feed, then she's ready to go back to sleep – I eat breakfast with her asleep on my shoulder. Next awake window she sits in bouncer while I shower & get ready. Etc. Repeat until witching hour, then bed all round.

I burp her by just holding her upright over my shoulder and wandering around, something usually emerges; I don't really have a technique!

You don’t necessarily have to burp her if she’s asleep and comfy. Having said that I used to burp DD1 sitting up, my hand cradling her chin, other hand patting her back. Id do it just as she dropped off to sleep so it would rouse her a little and then the parting would get her back off to sleep. It was a way of “kind of” avoiding fully feeding to sleep!

Patting, not parting!

I did set a routine from day 1. Nighttime routine most important (bath, read a story - even as a newborn, though I sometimes made one up - then feed then into cot awake but sleepy. During the day was looser but I wouldn’t let baby sleep too long. I’d wake baby up if need be. I was usually out and about during the day anyway so sleep was as and when. Lots of breastfeeding in public!
Getting you used to the routine is important too and will be a life saver if you have another one!

I agree with @squeekywheel .

At 8 weeks or so babies are ready for routine according to nhs guidelines.

For babies younger than this I personally think it should just be a case of responding to whichever need arises as and when. No need to stress about order or structure.

@Momhope15 try gently putting baby over your shoulder to burp ... will potentially fall back to sleep on your shoulder.

I sang nursery rhymes to my little guy from day one ( can’t sing but he doesn’t know yet 😂) and showed a few images ... mostly when he wasn’t crying from colic I would watch tv ... best binge watching time ever he is now 7 months and it took me a week to watch a movie 😂 (only due to the fact we play more / he naps upstairs not on me now so I have no excuse not to have a clean house / home cooked dinners etc and I am down to about 2 hours a day when I am not out visiting family )

His routine he fell into really he had no bedtime for the first 4 months he slowly went from every 2 hours day and night to about 3 hourly from 3 months and then at around 51/2 months he does blocks he has occasionally even slept through the night ❤️❤️

I think play at this age is just chatting to them and making faces. Even at 5 months my DS is far more interested in me chatting on, singing, kissing, tickling him than any of his "actual toys". He's so much more animated just playing with me.

I never winded if he went to sleep feeding... I only did that if he was still awake 🤷🏽‍♀️

Sorry for the language but when my DS was 3 weeks it was bollocks to a routine. I'm a first time mum and my day went feed wind change sleep cry in many different orders and I fit in napping, eating myself, going to the toilet, and wandering what I'd done to myself 😂 Anything else waited until someone else was there.
Don't worry about it you will figure it all out DS is 9 weeks today and I only started to feel more relaxed about a week or 2 ago and now it just comes naturally. Also congratulations!

@Momhope15 I personally will always try and wind even if baby is asleep just because I dont want her uncomfy. I do the sitting on knee and rubbing/patting back and also over the shoulder - i dont do it for too long and if she doesnt burp after a little while I will lay her down.
If she wakes from trying to wind (which if she is properly asleep she wont) then I just offer a little more milk to send her back off to sleep and will then lay her straight down after that because she normally only takes a few ml to drift back off so wont wind after a small amount of milk. (I bottle feed though)

I didn’t have a routine as such at this age but I did make sure dd went into her bed upstairs at 10pm regardless of when her last feed was and I went to bed with her. If she fed around 9.30/10 even better but if not we went to bed anyway.
I did this religiously every night sometimes meaning we were up again at 1030/11 but I then treated that as a night feed with low lighting and little stimulation.
I believe this helped her figure out the difference between day and night.
Other than that we fed and slept on demand. Playing consisted of me singing her a song and just lying looking At her and talking to her. I did this in whatever order she was happy with.
I thinks at such an early age you are both getting used to each other still and learning what works best for you so just go with it.

I spent much of DS1 first year desperately trying to nail the routine thing. They do naturally form patterns of their own but not for a little while, and then it’s best to go with them as much as possible. An evening routine is helpful, from 6-8 weeks as it helps you get some grown up time (though I used to dive into bed as soon as I could). Really with one very small baby the only routine you need to worry about is what your telly schedule should be, and what is a good time to get out for a bit of fresh air. Enjoy the feeding and snuggling, it won’t last forever!

I remember worrying about this with my first but we eventually fell into a loose routine. Evening routine from about 3 months, and day routine I found came when he was on solids as we had to plan things around his meals.

My daughter is nearly 4 weeks old and I'm so much more relaxed. She's fairly easy going. I just feed on demand and change her every few hours or when it needs doing. Rest of the time, she tags along with what we're doing with her big brother. She sleeps as we go along. Only thing I'm doing this time is taking her up for a bath or quick wash and into fresh babygro ready for the evening the same time as DS. We then go back downstairs and I shut all the curtains to get her used to day and night. I don't worry too much about play beyond talking, facial expressions and signing to them both. She's mostly fascinated about starting at the wall at the moment

I honestly wouldn't worry too much. Just chill out, enjoy the cuddles and watch TV. The routine and play will come soon enough.