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Sleep

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Original poster

Pick up, put down, what exactly is it and will it work on a 18 month old?

24 replies

yingers74 · 15/09/2004 20:40

My 18 month old dd who was a great sleeper is now waking in the night and refuses to return to sleep unless I stay with her, hence I sleep on the floor! I have heard about Tracey Hogg's method, but how does it work in relation to older babies/toddlers? I am thinking of using cc but would like to try this 'nicer' approach before I use cc.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

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prefernot · 15/09/2004 21:33

It didn't work with my dd at 15 months. She started to resist going to bed at night and for daytime sleeps and we tried doing pu / pd for a couple of weeks and it drove her into a frenzy of frustration. She couldn't understand why we were doing it and although we did it thinking it was 'kinder' in the end it wasn't at all for us. I think some other mums on here have had good success with it though so they may disagree. With dd in the end after 6 months of the problem getting worse and worse, we did a v. gentle form of cc and it worked within 3 days and 2 weeks in she was settling as well as ever. Even if you don't decide to do cc I do recommend you read the chapter of Richard Ferber's 'How to solve your child's sleep problems' called 'what your child associates with falling asleep.' It helped us no end to understand why the problem had started and how we had made it worse rather than better with all our well-meant interventions.

Original poster

yingers74 · 15/09/2004 21:56

prefernot, i will get reading! I am still hoping she will switch back into her good routine soon, so could be a few more nights for me on her floor!

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prefernot · 16/09/2004 19:58

She may well change on her own yingers but she may also grow to rather like you on her floor! I know exactly what you're going through, it IS a real shock when a good sleeper suddenly goes off kilter. We didn't find that dd went back to her old pattern, for us she got worse and worse and that's why we started to intervene. But you may be lucky, I think glitches do happen sometimes and settle on their own. If it doesn't, then don't hesitate to ask me for advice again. And I'm SURE you'll find that chapter of Ferber I mentioned will be more helpful than you know.

Original poster

yingers74 · 16/09/2004 20:45

prefernot, i really appreciate your kindness. dd slept throught last night, my fingers are tightly crossed for tonight! The ironic thing is that i did not sleep at all as i just waited for her to wake! So I am absolutely shattered now!!!

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prefernot · 17/09/2004 10:25

OH yes, yingers, I've done that too! I still do as dd's been through a phase of waking early so I find I'm awake at 6am and she sleeps peacefully til 7!!!

AGH

Original poster

yingers74 · 17/09/2004 11:23

the other night was a one off, was on her floor last night

am off to read up on cc now, poor dd

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prefernot · 17/09/2004 12:28

yingers, sorry to hear that . You may decide not to do cc but I think that bit of the book I mentioned earlier is just very helpful to work out what we're doing when we put our kids to bed. Cc can be tough and you have to be absolutely committed to it or you end up confusing the sleepless little darlings even further. We found it horrible for a couple of days and then it got much better. It's very easy to give in once you start but you can't if you want it to work so it's worth being really at the end of your tether and willing to do anything when you start it!

xxx

Original poster

yingers74 · 17/09/2004 20:08

Have started cc tonight. She knows something is up as she refused to settle and normally she goes off to sleep no prob and then wakes about 1am. So rather stressfully am starting early rather than having a bir of peace first

will let you know how it goes
am in for a very long night it seems

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debra64 · 17/09/2004 20:54

I very successfully used cc in two different types of circumstances, but have no idea whas pu/pd is! Can anyone elaborate?

Original poster

yingers74 · 17/09/2004 21:53

it is method used by tracey hogg the baby whisperer, from what i can gather you pick the baby up every time she cries and then put her down, and u just keep going until they settle! Don't know exact details.

dd has settled and am getting ready for bed and hopefully a quiet or at least non stressful night! from what i have heard, cc seems to be the quickest method

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Original poster

yingers74 · 18/09/2004 05:00

ok, is 5am. DD awoke at 4am, i went in to see her and then waited 10 mins. She cried a tiny amount(about 4 secs), then quiet, another 20 mins passed then a little cry and so on. My question is do I leave it or still go in? I have left it but this is largely due to indecision!!!

I think she is asleep now so fingers crossed!

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prefernot · 18/09/2004 12:20

yingers if it's a little cry and then she settles I would just leave her be, she may be half asleep when she's doing it? Doesn't sound too awful so far! The first night with our dd we had a horrible scene in the night when dd cried for 2 hours, 3-5am. We were literally on the verge of giving in but then she went back to sleep and the next night was much better. Although I hated doing it, I've never really regretted it as she goes to sleep much happier these days and we have far fewer tears.

Good luck!

Original poster

yingers74 · 19/09/2004 03:02

second night proving to be a lot tougher. She has been crying since 2am and shows no signs of letting up. Am in for a long night and am so tired. DH asleep!

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prefernot · 19/09/2004 15:43

Poor you. How did it go in the end? Are you following a particular method of cc? We did have a couple of dire nights too. But if you stick to it, it does work, I've never met anyone yet who when doing it by the book has said it's failed. Though I'm sure a mumsnetter or two might come forth to disagree!

How does your dd sleep in the day by the way? And what time does she sleep from and until at night?

Original poster

yingers74 · 19/09/2004 20:51

Well she finally gave up about 3.45am, but did small bouts of crying every 15-20mins until about 5.15. I did not go in though,it is hard work as you have to fight your desire to go in and give her a cuddle. All I can say is thank god for the internet. I read the bbc site and looked up pointless things while I was waiting!

I am following the method laid out in Ferber's book , tonight it will be 15, 20 then 25 mins. My dh thinks I may as well just sleep as he doubts she will cry non stop for 25 mins. I would rather just wait and see!

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prefernot · 19/09/2004 21:33

I hope it gets better yingers . I remember feeling like I was in a bit of a daze the whole time we had to do it with dd. We're going through a bit of a funny phase with her right now actually and although it's nowhere near as bad as what you're going through it does remind me how horrible it is to hear them cry and call out for you.

Hey, on a lighter note, I noticed you put your name down for the Christmas party at Coram's Fields. We can maybe chat in person and swap our sleep stories!

Original poster

yingers74 · 20/09/2004 16:05

that would be nice! I have heard good things about coram fields.Meant to visit during summer but never got round to it.
Last night was better, woke me at 3am, and cried a bit, not sure how long she went on for as I fell asleep!!!! i imagine (hope) she stopped as otherwise i would have been woken up, oh dear how bad am i?

Hope your dd's phase does not last long.

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prefernot · 20/09/2004 20:54

That sounds better yingers. I'm sure she must have stopped crying. Your internal mummy-monitor wouldn't let you sleep otherwise!

You didn't answer my questions about how your dd sleeps in the day or about how long her night is?

Coram's Fields is a lovely ramshackle kind of place with a little farm (a bit stinky) and some great sandpits and swings etc. Kids seem to love it and it feels very safe and tucked away even though it's so close to central London. Where about's are you based by the way?

Original poster

yingers74 · 21/09/2004 00:34

DD sleeps for 2 hours during the day usually after lunch. i am cutting that down to 1hr and 45mins now. at night she goes to sleep between 7.30/7.45 and we wake her around 7.30.

i am based in acton, west london, yourself?

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prefernot · 21/09/2004 20:41

That sounds like a great amount of sleep, a bit more than my dd does. What I meant to ask was does she go to sleep ok on her own in the day or do you have to stay with her? How was last night by the way?

I'm in SE London, close to Bermondsey, so not that close to you.

Hope things continue to improve.

Original poster

yingers74 · 21/09/2004 20:51

daytime nap is pretty good, cries a little now and again but otherwise good. Last night was not so good, started crying at 2am and just went on until about 3.30, she seemed much louder last night, it was pretty awful!

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Original poster

yingers74 · 22/09/2004 14:48

she slept through last night - hurray! fingers crossed for tonight although regardless what happens tonight am feeling better for the unbroken night!

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prefernot · 22/09/2004 16:12

Hurray Yingers!!

My dd was up from 2.30-3.45am last night but she has got a terrible cough ...

Original poster

yingers74 · 22/09/2004 20:23

sorry to hear that, hope she is feeling better. My dd has not settled very well tonight, she has been crying on and off since I put her down at 7.45. I went in once and it made her scream more so am trying to sit it out!

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