Is my babies bedtime too early??

[MissMoodyMoo]

So I've been getting a bit of stick off my relatives about how early my baby goes to bed as it limits social activitie. So she is 16 weeks and been in a decent routine since about 8 weeks. I'm really strict with her routine as it keeps her settled at the start I would start the bed time routine of bath/shower, bottle and bed about 6pm but for the last month and a half or so she makes it very clear when it's bad time which is normally between 5-5.30pm and is sleeping by 6pm-6.30pm. And from there she's been known to sleep right through to 6am and up for a bottle then back down until 8am but recently she's been getting up around 2am for a bottle then goes back down until about 8am but I think she's in the middle of a leap! Anyway my MIL thinks it's far to early for her to be going to bed as it limits us going to dinner with people (her) or relatives visiting after work (SIL) so they feel they are missing out on seeing the baby. We also co sleep so sometimes I can be in bed for half 5! And I know that sounds ridiculous but it really honestly doesn't bother me as I just lay and watch TV or read and I don't reckon it bothers my partner as he gets to catch up on his tv after work but majority of the time he works back shift until 10pm so we aren't really missing out on time together. I personally don't see the problem but then again I'm a first time mum and winging it!!

Mine had that routine and then he changed with different leaps.

My DD was the same at that age. It lasted until she was about 18 months old, her bedtime gradually (and naturally!) progressed to a later time from then.

Absolutely nothing wrong with it in my eyes. MIL and SIL are just going to have to get used to the fact that baby is the main concern now, not them. She's ready for sleep at that time, to keep her up any later would be quite mean. She's almost sleeping through (and to a decent time too.)

You're doing a great job! Ignore everyone else!

She's waking up once for a bottle and then sleeps to a great time...you're doing great and no, it's working for her. Obviously you'll change it if she waking earlier but it's working.

If it’s working it’s fine. Dd is 2.5 and still sometimes goes to bed at 6 and sleeps till 7.

Phases and stages change so often that eventually baby will have a different bedtime. I'd just be rolling with it. Tough shit if they want you to come out for dinner on an evening with a baby - your call.

Going to bed at half 5 and co-sleeping would not be something I’d be happy with so for me that would far too early a bedtime. But if it works for you then who cares, it sounds like you’re getting a decent amount of sleep which is good. Don’t change something that’s working because relatives occasionally want to visit.

I can't imagine this at all! DS goes to bed at 11pm 🙈 (not my choice!)

It's not really their business is it? You have all day and all weekend to see them. You need to do what's best for your baby. If that's her bedtime you would be cruel to keep her awake for them. I would stick with what you are doing. I would say it will have more of an impact on your relationship with partner if you are in bed so early when do you see him?

I couldn’t have done it. When they are that little they are really flexible and portable, there are years ahead when they are in school, that your life will be more curtailed. It sounds like she is quite high needs if she needs that level of routine at such a young age, so you probably don’t have much choice, so should stick to what works for you.

I would kill to be in bed by 5.30 and to not have dinner with my MIL. If that's the sleep the baby needs then that's what to do! What are you supposed to do, wake her up and make her cranky for the sake of socialising? This stage won't last forever, if it works for now it's fine.

Sounds normal to me - keeping a baby awake when they are overtired just so people can play with them (and thus make them more overtired) is just cruel, and sets you up for bedtime problems later on when they actually really need an earlier night, e.g. nursery, pre-school.

As a teacher I see lots of exhausted children in reception each year whose parents have never really instigated a bedtime routine, and so have had major issues trying to start it later on in life.

When I say I go to bed at half 5 I mean I choose to go upstairs with her and watch TV or read I'm not stuck upstairs I can come down let the dog out, make some toast and tea etc but then go back up as if she starts fussing for her dummy if she wakes up she will be up for hours so it's just easier to be there to stick it in her mouth to settle her back to sleep! I enjoy her routine as she's quite hard work during the day as she has a cows milk allergy and we've just switched to prescription milk so the first 14 weeks of her life it was hell she was constantly screaming and In pain so we were both exhausted through the day and really looked forward to bedtime at half 5!

Just keep doing what's right for you and your baby and ignore MIL/SIL. Say, "Thanks for the suggestion" (but ignore it); "No, you coming over after work/us going out to dinner doesn't work with our schedule"; and "Are you suggesting I wake a sleeping baby?" (incredulous laugh).

Do what works for you.

If it works for you then carry on, MIL will have to deal with it. Personally I couldn’t do it, I liked the flexibility when baby was that young, would sleep when we were out and about. I’d also miss time with my husband, our 11 month old is in bed for seven thirty every day which give us some time together to enjoy a meal and glass of wine or watch a film. Whatever works for you though

It’s up to you really but I do miss being able to go out at night with the baby especially holidays etc. My daughter didn’t really go to bed at a specific time every night until about 18 months old.

However if it works for you then that’s all that matters really! I would just say there are so many leaps and growth spurts sleep is forever changing in the first couple of years.

Plus it’s completely normal for a 16 week old to wake in the night for a feed 🙂

Just do what works for you. I'd have loved it if my DS had done that!

We are all winging it OP! If it works for you, do it! You sound like you have a lovely little sleeper on your hands. Enjoy the snuggles and don't let others make you feel bad.

Your family need to think about what is best for the baby, not what is best for them.

Do what works for you and your family unit op.

The opinion of your MIL or anyone else outside your family unit doesn't matter. Try your best to smile and nod along to judgement but then go away and just ignore it all!

You know your baby the best.

My ds went to bed early. He's nearly 11 months now and we still start the bedtime routine at 6pm, it's what works for him, my fiancé and me.

I'm still winging it after 2 kids. Sounds like a fab routine to me & very similar to my first at that age. I also got stick just like you and I bloody well stuck to it regardless of what relatives said.

My DS is 20 weeks and bath time is 6pm and he’s sleeping for 6.30. He sleeps until 6/7 with 1 or 2 wakes for a feed. He’s been in this routine since 7 weeks.