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Co-sleeping with older child

7 replies

worriedmammaof2 · 13/06/2019 00:03

I have a 27 month old and a 2 month old. The older one has always had a good routine, slept through from 11ish weeks once we got on top of his silent reflux and CMPA. His sleep has mostly been consistent apart from when he's had a reaction / reflux flare up / illness and this has resulted in gradual retreat style sleep training a few times. A few months before
The baby arrived he decided himself that he didn't want to sleep in the cot so we moved him into the other bedroom with a bed. It took a while to settle him in , trial and error with putting a gate up and bed guard etc and then in the lead up to the birth he became quite unsettled with one or two wake ups. This coincided with him being ready to drop the nap and tbh I think we made it worse as it was taking him ages to settle for nap, 1-3 hours to settle for bedtime and I think he just got sick of his room / developed anxiety. We never really got on top of it before the new arrival and this seems to have unsettled him further (fine during the day but wake ups at night). I was in hospital for 5 days and he got really attached to his dad but then wanted his dad to sleep with him / sleep outside his bedroom gate.

The baby has had a bumpy start - tongue tie which had to be snipped twice, silent reflux, a complicated circumcision and more recently meningitis. I'm absolutely on the floor with exhaustion and feel like jacking it all in and just co sleeping with them both!

Would I be mad?

The baby didn't feed between 11-6 for 3 weeks (he wasn't feeding well at all) but was becoming unsettled from 3-6 and only taking a very small feed at 7am. He seems to have picked up his feeding and I'm trying to time
His feeds so that he is just getting
Up once (around 3) between 12-7. I have my own health issues and sleep is my biggest and best medicine.

I feel like we have worked hard and done well with the toddlers sleep overall in his two short years but then whatever makes life easier at this time?

If we co-slept (eg if my husband takes one and I take The other) will we massively regret it? The funny thing is the toddler has always settled better alone and even during the worst flare up / reaction he did not settle with us sleeping next to him when very upset. So actually I'm not sure if it would even work. It could however work for night wakings though but I don't want to set off a vicious cycle. Also a bit concerned about it affecting my marriage.

Any experiences out there?

OP posts:
BummyKnocker · 13/06/2019 00:07

Do what works and whatever gets the family the most sleep.

My DD2 still comes into our bed - she is 7.

Pipandmum · 13/06/2019 00:18

I think you will just make things more difficult. He has made s step in the right direction and you will just be going backwards, not to mention how will this affect your relationship with your husband? And I thought co sleeping with babies was a big no no?

BummyKnocker · 13/06/2019 00:21

Co-sleeping with babies can be done very safely

MaxiPaddy · 13/06/2019 00:31

Be prepared to be ripped to shit for the circumcision.

OnceUponAFairyTime · 13/06/2019 00:44

You need your health to function. So if cosleeping with toddler = sleep = health then that makes sense to me.

Nuckyscarnation · 16/06/2019 00:57

@MaxiPaddy we don’t know why the baby was circumcised though do we? My DH was circumcised as a baby for medical reasons. It is needed sometimes

Nuckyscarnation · 16/06/2019 00:58

@Pipandmum it’s perfectly possible to co sleep safely with babies. DH and I co sleep with our twins and we’re all fineSmile

Do what gets you the most sleep op.

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