Has anyone else got themselves in such a crap routine?!

[cr1479]

My daughter is just over 7 months now and has always been a really bad sleeper. She had a period of being a little less crap when I bought a next to me and she had a "Purflo nest" which is similar to a sleepyhead.
Sometimes she would do big chunks of sleep (4-5 hours) on her own in that but would still end up in bed with me every night at some point.
She has outgrown that now so would have to go in her cot. She is just point blank refusing to go into the cot. I have tried so many different ways but no matter what I do she will just scream the place down. I have my 7 year old so can't let her scream for ages and also don't like the "cry it out" or anything.
So we are now in this ridiculous routine where she won't sleep at all on her own so stays down with us while we have tea and evening routine.
Then I take her up with us at about 9pm and get her to sleep (if she hasn't fallen asleep downstairs) and try to put her in her cot which I have next to my bed, which will inevitably not work so she will end up in bed with me. I have tried putting her down sleepy, awake, rocking her & putting her down asleep. I can sometimes get her to go down but she will wake up after a few mins and I can never get her to go back to sleep in there.
If I try to put her down at an actual bedtime like 7pm, I end up there the whole evening and don't have any tea or anything.
She sleeps in the bend in my arm, will not sleep laid on her own even in my bed.
She also wakes up so many times in the night still, around 5x.
My partner has to sleep in her room because she shares the bed. It's just such a ridiculous routine but I can't see how to change it.
Has anyone ended up in a similarly crappy situation and have they found anything that has helped? Or do I just have to ride it out?

Scrap all of it and make her new bedtime at 7.00. At 7, give her a warm bath and then a feed.

Put her in her cot and walk off.

Go back if she gets hysterical and comfort her but don't get her out of bed.

Make sure the room in which she has her final bottle is dim...barely light at all.

This is exactly the problem we are having with our 7.5 month old. It’s horrendous! So I totally get where you’re coming from.
He slept fine in his next2me cot, but now he’s outgrown it and in his big cot (still in our bedroom) he will not settle at all.
To be fair he goes down at 7:30/8 after a bath and feed (breast) and sleeps in our room in the cot until he wakes up hysterical about 10/10:30pm just before we come up to bed. He then won’t settlr at all, so ends up in our bed all night which means no one really gets any sleep. It’s a routine that I have no idea how to get out of!

We had a problem with the cot.
I wasnt prepared to let DS get hysterical.
What we did: first we did anything to keep him in his own room and cot - rocking, bouncing whatever. We also night weaned him. That took about a week.
Once we had done that we began gradual retreat. It's a long road but once u want things to change well that's the first step.