3.5yo with no dummy

[Treaclepie19]

So, we've been trying for 6 months/1 year to plant seeds of removing the dummy.
We tried the dummy fairy and he got scared.
This time we've decided it's gone and that's that.
He's taken to it well but it's been a week tomorrow and he's just struggling to get enough sleep. He finds it so hard to drift off without it that bedtime is now 2 or 3 hours (tried different times) and he's often up in the night too.

Anyone come out the other side? Is it just something they get used to?

@Furble well done! A great start :)

We decided to just go cold turkey with our just turned two year old and suffer a few nights of awfulness.....we decided that day too so no build up. Just go for it....it's the best way with a toddler who is super attached to it as ours was! She doesn't even talk about it now and it's been 5 weeks. Wish we'd done it sooner, it buggers up their teeth and the longer you leave it the worse it will be!

I’m too scared to do it- you’re all braver than me. Dd has just turned 3 and loves them so much. She doesn’t have it in the day- used to have them in the car but got rid of those a fortnight ago and was pleasantly surprised how easy that was. But I feel night time is a different kettle of fish. She has two- one to hold and one to suck and I have noticed on occasion, when tired, she’s sucking her fingers when watching tv or in the car and I desperately don’t want her to do that as I sucked my thumb for years and years and I feel that causes more damage. Don’t know. I just keep persuading myself out of even trying!

First dummy free night was a success. After taking a long while it’s settle he didn’t cry once in the night and slept until 7.30. We gave him loads of praise when he woke up. Will report back in a few days. Thank you for all the encouragement.

When we lost the dummies we put a radio in DDs room instead, and she felt comforted by really gentle music. It was a distraction from the lack of dummies I think! 6 years later and she still listens to music until she falls asleep.

Furble well done!
Our DS slept really well last night! It was night 8. Keeping my fingers crossed that he's used to it now.

I cracked last night and gave it back to her 😳 she slept almost instantly and for 12hrs, and was back to her sunny lovely self today. She went to sleep instantly tonight with it as well. I feel so shit for giving in but also so much happier for sleep and no bad behaviour. I don't know how I'm ever going to get rid of it now though.

Good to see you've had success, well done for powering on through!

cliffdonvillle tbh I don't blame you in giving it back, I do the same if it meant getting some sleep. Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure that given time she'll be willing to give it up.

Cliffdonville dont worry, it sounds like she's really not ready to give it up yet.
You're doing what's best for her right now, it's no use you all having no sleep.

I realised I said 3.5 but thinking it through our little boy is 3y 9m so actually much older!
He seems to have worked out how to sleep without it now, bedtimes are still longer but he's settling earlier and sleeping a normal amount generally.

I've taken the plunge and gotten rid of the dummies. DH and I were talking yesterday and decided that at 4 years and 2 months this is probably the best time to do it. We gathered all the dummies and hid them. We then told DS that all the dummies were gone and we won't be buying anymore. He was NOT happy but we said that if he goes a week without it he can get a toy. Which softened the blow slightly. Last night he wanted a dummy, and cried for it until about 10 then fell asleep. He woke up through the night a few times asking for it but eventually went back to sleep. He woke at 5 this morning, rather than 7 normally. And he has been in a foul mood all morning, I really hope this gets better.

@Nowthatsamiriacle well done!
We've had a few good nights but still not back to normal. It's only been a week and a half though so fingers crossed. I hope its a smooth ride for you!

@Treaclepie19 thanks I'm sure things won't take much longer to get back to normal for you, good luck.

I really hope so. I've just picked him up from nursery and he's screaming his head off. He is sooo overtired.

Well done @nowthatsamiracle and @treaclepie19 we are getting there.

We had night three last night which was the hardest so far as he cried for just over an hour. My husband really had to talk me out of going back in the room. He was fine this morning thankfully and besides waking a bit earlier he was fine in the night.

Just got to keep going!

My eldest daughter cried and cried for hers. She kept saying sorry, like she had done something wrong and if she apologised I would give it back. It was heartbreaking. But i had to be tough and not give in, and I'm glad I did as it only lasted one night.

Second daughter didn't bother at all. Put them in the bin at the age of 2 and she never asked for them. Rather annoyingly though, 5 years later, she still makes the dummy-sucking noise when she's sleeping. She also pats around the bed like she's trying to locate it, until she finds a teddy instead and then it stops. Makes a right racket 😂

My dd was very attached to her dummy when we got rid of it around 5 months ago (she was 3.5). Her sleep suffered too, she was okay going to sleep at bedtime but began waking about an hour earlier and dropped her nap completely. She was only napping maybe 2/3 times a week for a hour or so on the sofa but added to the earlier rising meant she was missing out on 10 is hours of sleep a week. The napping was quite hard as she knew she was tired and would get blankets, teddies etc on the sofa but couldn't just drop off anymore. She has gradually got used to it and has gone back to her normal waking time, the naps she would have dropped by now anyway I think.

Night 2 of no dummy is over, worse than night 1. Very tough. He was very upset, woke up 4 times crying for his dummy. Which is very unusual for him to wake atall during the night. His behaviour has taken a turn to, probably down to lack of sleep. I'm starting to wonder if I've made a mistake taking the dummies away now.

I’m with you @nowthatsamiriacle , you’ve got this.
I’ve been struggling with his behaviour over the past two days as he’s not really napped properly and has therefore been a bit overtired. He’s also woken when I’ve been up feeding the baby as it’s disturbed him and then he’s cried out. He seems upset at bedtime as well which makes me sad, is refusing a story and only wants a quick kiss and then says bye bye like he’s angry at us. I feel bad but now we’ve started I know we need to continue, plus I’ve got the added motivation of know that I really want his teeth and speech to resolve themselves rather than continue to get worse.

I’m just going to keep taking it a day at a time. Good luck to all the other parents approaching another dummy free night.

Sending strength to you all.
We're all knackered here. It's hard work. He's so grumpy in the day.

Day 12 here 😴

Sending solidarity to you all!
After cracking and giving DD her dummy back, she had it for 2 nights and then decided she didn't want it 😮
Sleep is still much worse than it used to be but it's slowly slowly getting better. Last night she was asleep by 745!

@Cliffdonville oh wow brilliant!
I bet it will help having had her decide not to have it.

We're getting earlier sleep now too. It's still disturbed but not to the same extremes.

My dummy obsessed three yo ds struggle to stay asleep for a couple of weeks after we hit rid of them but it honestly does get easier. The dentist told me at a check up a year later any impact on his teeth had reversed.
Oddly I asked him 12mths after the dummy fairy visited whether he'd still like one. He said yes and looked sad. I was very surprised as I thought he would dismiss them as babyish by then. My tip is don't ever mention a dummy again!

He does occasionally put his fingers in his mouth for comfort now and I think if we had got rid of his dummy earlier he would have swapped to being sucking his thumb which is harder to control.
We're going to go through getting rid of the dummy with dd soon too. I'm dreading it but we will then be a dummy free household!

Meh, we had a traumatic few years and while eldest DD I managed to drop the dummy at 2, the younger two only gave them up (at the same time) for bedtime a few months ago at the grand old ages of 4 and 6.

Yep 6!

And I don’t care, they needed the comfort, their teeth and speech and perfectly fine and they were happy.

As long as it’s not in the day I really cannot see the drama around it Vs a child’s comfort.

Day 10 here and we're really struggling, I was hoping that his toy for going a week with no dummy would spur him on but his sleep hasn't improved since night 3. He still wakes 3-4 times a night and can't settle. He's now started sucking his thumb too when he's watching tv or YouTube, even though I discourage it. I worried that this might be one step forward and two steps back.

We’re two weeks in and he seems to have gotten over the worst of it now. Daytime naps are very hit and miss still but night time is going really well, he settles without crying and doesn’t cry out in the night anymore. Think we’re nearly over the worst of it and very relieved too!