How do we fix this sleeping situation for 2yo?

[Mummy53757857]

I've been breastfeeding my DS to sleep since the start. I didn't mind because I had a hard time breastfeeding during the day, and it also got him to sleep so fast. He didn't sleep terribly well overnight but we're starting to see longer stretches of sleep now, 4-5h at best.

But breastfeeding is becoming a bit of an obsession for DS now, and is becoming a bit uncomfortable. DS has also started biting again and won't listen when I tell him no.

DH used to be able to put DS to bed with back rubs and singing, but DS is now pushing back and is always crying for me and bf. I try to leave them to it - DH is so patient, singing and telling stories and trying to calm him - but it can be an hour of weeping and trying to scramble out of bed. They usually resort to a bottle of milk which obviously isn't so great for DS teeth.

Sometimes DH gives up and I go in and am able to get DS to sleep fairly quickly. Others I breastfeed him to sleep in the hope it will be quick. I realise we are being very inconsistent but we are just trying to get through each night.

I know this is a situation of our own making. But what can we do now to fix this without resorting to controlled crying? (This and disappearing chair wouldn't work because DS would just escape from his cot. He accepts breastfeeding in bed, or needs to be pulled back in by DH multiple times.)

I meant to add naps used to be like clockwork, 12-2ish, but they've also recently become atrocious. As DS is taking so long to fall asleep, he is waking up later in the day and this is impacting his naps, pushing them as late as 3-4.

What would be the best way to turn to an early bedtime - to get him up earlier in the morning or to cut short his nap? Or both?

My 16mo is the same. Still bf and likes to bf to sleep. At about 9mo I got sick of being stuck in bed every night so DH started putting him to bed. But now he’s started to cry and won’t settle till I get in with him to bf. He’s not sleeping till 10pm, so he’s not getting up till 9-10am, and then he won’t nap till 3-5pm or sometimes not at all. And he’s starting to claw at me for milk, shoving his hand down my top and screaming if I say no. My chest is all bruised.

I’m not sure what the solution is. It’s obviously a phase like everything else. We’re persevering with DH taking him to bed and I come in if he won’t settle. I try to make him nap as early as possible after lunch.

What worked for me with DD when she was 2.5 was cutting down gradually so we went from a 15 mins bf at bedtime down to 10 mins then 5 then 2 until we were down to 30 seconds and eventually. a firm "no you're a big girl now boobs are for babies" After a couple of days she stopped asking and didn't seem traumatised by it even though I was so worried about the impact on her of stopping. Good luck!

I breastfed my daughter until just before her 2nd birthday and it was tough on me in the end so I can totally sympathise.

I did decide to stop the breastfeeding as I felt the situation wasn’t going to get any better if I didn’t and I temporarily introduced a bottle just to stop her association with me and comfort feeding/falling asleep at night. It was cold turkey though. Bottle or nothing basically. It was bad for the first 3 nights and I felt awful saying ‘no’ but it got easier and then she stopped bothering at all after about a week and then wasn’t even bothered by the bottle and slept through. It was worth it in the end.

Also 2 years old is a sleep regression stage so that might explain the sudden change in sleeping habits.

Also the time you put him down for a nap seems fine. He should still be getting a good hour and a half sleep at this age.

What time does he get up in the morning?