Advice for moving 6.5mo into own room

[MermaidTail7]

DD is 6.5 mo and has always slept in the next-to-me in our bedroom with the occasional co-sleeping session if she has struggled to settle from 4am onwards. She is not sleeping through the night and can wake anything from 3-6 times a night. I know I can get her back to sleep with a feed (she is BF) but the feeds are so short sometimes that I think they are for comfort rather than hunger. I also think that we are waking each other up in the night. DD is also getting to the point where the next-to-me will be too small soon, and as she is increasingly mobile it probably won't be safe for much longer either.

DD has an established bedtime routine where we use her room to 'prepare for bed' (nappy free time/massage/sleepsuit on) then we go into the bedroom for a story, and feed/cuddle to sleep. She goes to bed at 6.30pm. Unless we are out and about, I also do all daytime feeds and naps in our bedroom too.

DP and I want to move her into her cot, in her own room as her cot won't fit in our bedroom.

We know she is happy to sleep in a cot seperate to us as she has happily slept in standard travel cots in our room with us, but when I have tried to do the full bedtime/nap routine in her room she just won't settle. She won't settle for the feed, and if I have managed to get her to drop off she wakes up as soon as I put her in her cot, and screams the house down until she is picked up.

I really want to avoid bedtime becoming a battle, and I don't want her to associate her bedroom/cot with being left on her own, but we do need to get her in her own cot in her own room.

We'd rather not do CC if we can avoid it, but can anyone who might have been through something similar give advice on how they moved thier babies sleep association from one room to another successfully?

Have a look at Sarah Ockwell-Smiths gentle sleep solution and any of her stuff on sleep really. She's incredibly helpful and sensible.

I think in your shoes I would start by disassociating nursing with dropping off. Keep her awake for her feeds and pop her down while she's still awake, but in her familiar next-to-me in your room until she's used to being laid down in bed awake. You can stay with her, shush/pat/stroke her, but try and avoid eye contact and don't pick her up. It's probably also a good time to introduce a small comfort toy or blanket. Have 2 or 3 identical ones, and keep one in your bra (sexy stuff!) while she has the other in bed, and the third is somewhere safe for emergencies. Rotate them so she always has one that smells like you when she goes to bed.

When she's used to falling asleep with you there, full of milk, but not having been fed to sleep, try dropping a nursing session or 2 during the night. At 6 months 6 feeds a night is really excessive - you must be exhausted! Presumably you're still on maternity leave? I would either drop one or 2 feeds a night completely, or stretch out the intervals between them if you can until she's naturally waking less. When she wakes asking for a feed you don't want to give, keep the room dark, don't talk or make eye contact but again shush/pat/stroke/offer comfort item, without picking her up. It will take a while for her to get the message but it's not as harsh as leaving her to cry alone, and she will learn in time.

When she's learned to resettle without a feed, maybe after a week or 10 days, then move on to her room and the cot. Sooth her with the shush/pat/stroke/comfort item routine in there. Stay with her until she drops off. When she's used to that cut down on the sleep cues, so if you were shushing AND patting, drop down to just shushing with your hand resting on her while you sit or lie beside the cot. Then just shushing without touching her. Then no shushing but you lie beside the cot. Then you get her used to you leaving the room as she's heavily drowsy but not yet asleep. Finally you'll be able to put her down sleepy but still awake and she'll accept it.

My advice would be to crack on as soon as possible and try and get her in the new routine within 2 or 3 weeks as the 7 month separation anxiety is looming, and that's not a great time to start 'sleep training'. Loads of luck! You'll get there!