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Sleep

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Original poster

Diary of a dummy weaner....

49 replies

ratfly · 20/07/2007 17:31

I thought this might be a useful blog...

I accidentally started Ds (6 months) weaning off the dummy today. I just wanted to see if he would suck his hands if I left 1 arm unswaddled.

After 5 mins crying and screaming, asI lay next to him patting and shhing, I realised he wouldn't stick his fingers in his mouth, but just rubbed his face and eyes.

So I reswaddled him, and lay next to him to see what he would do without his dummy. Lots more crying and screaming. And after another 5 mins I thought that if I plugged him up (the dummy was actually within reaching distance), he would drop off in a second. But then all that screaming would have been for nothing. So I didn't replug, and so the dummy weaning started....

Another 5 mins, and every time he was dropping off he realised he didnt have his dummy and screamed. Poor thing! I carried on lying next to him (he was on my bed, don't ask why!!) and patting and shhing and eventually he went down.

Nap 1 - 15 minutes to settle.

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Egypt · 24/09/2007 07:56

good to hear, thank you. i have the ncss so may take a peek. dont mind a bit of cring but cant stand when it gets bad.

Egypt · 24/09/2007 08:06

cring?

Egypt · 24/09/2007 14:07

weeelll, took about forty mins to soothe to sleep tonight. poor thing. she was rooting around for the dummy. i shushed and patted and sang and once turned on her side she was happy, for a bit. then started again. poor thing, she did cry herself to sleep. i didnt leave her for more than 5 mins but being there was doing little for her. she was so excited to see me when i went into her - bless. feel so mean. but fingers crossed........

ImBarryScott · 24/09/2007 15:53

Well done for sticking it out. It's very hard. But our DD never cried for long after the initial shock of the first day, so I'm sure things will get better really quickly.

kiera · 24/09/2007 17:09

we didn't get ds1 off his night-time dummy until he'd just turned 4 , didn't want it to coincide with the arrival of his baby brother. in the end we had to as the dentist said it was making his front teeth stick out . I think it's easier when they are older and you can explain to them, we talked about it for a few days explained that he would leave them in a special box for the "dummy fairy" and he would get a present in exchange and the fairy brought him a really good present the next day! I had no problems with him having it when he was little as it gave him so much comfort and it was very easy to get him to nap, just pop it in. ds2 refused one (maybe cos he was bfed for longer) and was very difficult to settle to sleep, he has just turned one and only now will settle for naps and a bed-time without a lot of fuss. I am glad he doesn't have it but it did make life very difficult and stressful for a long time as he found it difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep.

Egypt · 25/09/2007 02:23

i dont know what to do for the best tbh. i might try her without it for a few days and see if it doesn make her sleep any better.

i gave her a dreamfeed at 10 then she woke at 2 for a feed (she still needs feeding every four hours - she was hungry) then she woke at 4, and wouldnt settle without. the thing is i cant let her cry at that time as dd1 would wake - nightmare. so i bf her again. now - there's me starting another sleep association isnt there?! she murmered at 5 but went back to sleep and woke at 720am. so a much better night than usual. ALTHOUGH she has done great nights WITH the dummy, she has never slept through. I don't know if it is the dummy making her wake more often on some nights or not. Guess the only way to find out is to try for a few nights to see if it improves. But then BF her to sleep isn't going to help is it?!

ImBarryScott · 25/09/2007 07:29

Hi Egypt?

Could you set yourself a deadline, and count it down? We decided to try CC for a max of 7 nights (though luckily it didn't come to that) and give the dummy back if there weren't significant improvements after that. This helped on night 1, the only really hard night, as I sat drinking wine and thinking "only 6 more nights...".

Also, what really helped was buying a Christmas style trolley full of chocs, cakes, crisps and booze, and having a couple of DVDs on hand, in order to make the time passing more bearable. Sad, but it helped on the (only) 4am hour-long screaming fit.

We also waited until DD didn't need a night feed. She'd only had one feed at night for several weeks, but we gradually cut this down in the time leading up to binnning the dummy. But we formula feed, and I know this is soooo much easier when ff-ing.

If DD is unsettled and it's driving you up the wall, I don't think there's any harm in giving back the dummy. You can always try again in a couple of months if you think you'll all be more ready .

Egypt · 25/09/2007 07:52

hi, thanks for your reply.

yes think i will set myself a deadline. the thing with bf is, you are bfding them to sleep in the night, which is in itself a sleep association. not really sure how to prevent this. dd1 didnt have a dummy but she woke in the night for a long time. she never slept through until she was 13 months and i just fed her whenever she woke for the easylife. she stopped on her own. dont much fancy 13 months of feeding throughout the night, but worse still waking more often than necessary to replug!

might read pantley's no cry sleep solution again to see what she has to offer on dummy weaning because i cant do cc - not in the night - with dd1 (terrible sleeper number 2) right next door.

rony · 25/09/2007 12:25

Very interested in this as I'm having dummy problems at nap time with 5 month old ds. He is swaddled with one arm out - he hated having both arms in and has been happy as larry like this for months. Up till now the dummy has not been a problem as he doesn't wake up when it falls out and it has really helped him settle at night time and for naps. But this week when he is going down for a nap he keeps pulling the dummy out, I think it's by accident as he can't seem to keep his hand away from his face, and he's at that stage where they just grip on to everything they can. So out comes the dummy and then he howls! I''ve resorted to holding his hand down to stop him doing it! I've tried taking the dummy away to see if he wants to suck his fingers instead - I think he wants to but can't do it properly so he's not satisfied.

Also I can't really devote a lot of time to settling him for naps as I have 2 year old dd who can't be left alone while I do that. So I need a quick fix!

ImBarryScott · 25/09/2007 12:28

rony, those are problems we had too! we ditched the swaddle and the dummy together in one fell swoop, to minimise the amount of disruption and distress for all.

rony · 25/09/2007 12:35

oh my goodness I don't think I'm ready for that yet!! particularly as I really don't want to wake dd at night and her room is next door to his - bummer! do you think it would work weaning him off the dummy just at nap times? It's not a problem at night as he doesn't do the hand thing then for some reason!

Also I wondered whether he might like something to hold on to, to keep his hand busy- like a soft toy or something? he really seems to have a desperate urge to hold on to something when he's trying to settle for his naps. He likes holding my fingers but of course as soon as I take them away his arm starts flailing around again and then he wakes up!

ImBarryScott · 25/09/2007 12:40

We do give DD one of these to cuddle as she falls asleep. Might work?

rony · 25/09/2007 12:44

oh yes he has a little bear a bit like that but I've never given it to him at sleep time - perhaps I'll try it. will let you know what happens!

Egypt · 25/09/2007 13:20

rony you sound like me! how is he sleeping at night? try the days first, that's where to start even if you decide on weaning it at night. I know what you mean about not being able to give your time to them when they are falling asleep. mt dd1 is 3 but is still wanting me, although i can leave her for a bit - she calls and just disrupts the whole thing!

well, update on today/night....dd2 had 3 naps today all in her carseat terrible i know, but its so easy to get her to sleep in that without the dummy, even without the rocking. she loves it. tomorrow i will try the cot. i put her down tonight after a last feed. she was wide awake actually and was quiet as can be ! she kicked about a bit and flailed her head around trying to get comfy, but had seemed to have forgotten about the dummy. after maybe 10 mins she got upset and cried. i went in and tried to shush her - but with dd next door and her not quieting at all, i picked her up and fed her again.. bad move? i think so. she calmed and just suckled for comfort. so i took her off still awake and laid her down. she went off immediately. no probs. is this ok? i mean its the boob that's settling her isn't it so is instilling another prop for sleep. but she was awake as i put her down. [fingers crossed!]

we'll see how tonight goes....

Egypt · 25/09/2007 13:29

by the way i can REALLY recommend the bear thing. dd1 had one and from about 9 months old or so she would grab it and rub it into her face and fall asleep. she's also chew on one corner - the one with the label and say 'nan nan nan' when falling asleep. she gave it up about 4 months ago. she is 3.4

trying one with dd2 now, but at only 6 months she doesnt seem that bothered, but worth giving to her now. the smell and feel of it will also associate with sleep. i am trying to get her to hold it when bf as well, to make it that more comforting!

Egypt · 25/09/2007 13:30

gawd my typing and grammar is crap tonight.

rony · 26/09/2007 11:48

well today I have given ds his little bear blanky (as well as swaddle and dummy like usual) and he has gone straight down for both naps without so much as a squeak!! Amazing! I think it gave him something else to do with his hand rather than trying to stuff it into his mouth and knock out the dummy.

Let's hope this continues....

ImBarryScott · 26/09/2007 12:08

Egypt · 26/09/2007 13:21

thats good rony.

i caved. knew i would. i just can't do it without dh around (he's away this week). dd1 (3yrs) needs me around that time too. i plonk her in front of the tv with her milk and put dd2 to bed. usually works like a dream, then i deal with dd1. but with the crying going on, and me up and down three flights of stairs - then the crying still going on whilst i try to put dd1 to bed, just does me in.

last night she went down after a bf fine then woke after 1/2 hour, wouldnt settle, routing for the dummy. i caved. she didnt have it the rest of the night. woke twice in the night after her dreamfeed at 10.

tonight - screamed for a bit - not long mind, went to sleep for maybe 15 mins, woke again, routed around, put her to the breast, dd1 shouts me and SHOUTS ME - so i lay dd1 down - screams. i come downstairs - deal with dd1, STILL SCREAMING , back up 3 flights of stairs, i can't soothe her. cave in.

pulled the dummy out after 10 mins of sleep. she's still asleep (1 hour later).

i just cannot do it.

saying that she hasnt had it for naps for 2 days.

slowly slowly

ImBarryScott · 26/09/2007 13:31

Oh, Egypt, it's so hard!

You did really well trying for a couple of days.

You can always give it another go at some point if that's what you want.

rony · 26/09/2007 18:42

oh egypt you poor thing that sounds like a nightmare.

sounds like you're doing really well if she's without it for naps - like you say, just take it slowly and try not to stress yourself over it.

Egypt · 27/09/2007 04:04

thanks.

i pulled the dummy out after she'd been asleep for a bit last night. she woke at 130 and 430 for feeds and went down without it both times. she just seems to need it to switch off that first time when she goes to bed. bless.

but i wonder, is she waking for food? yes she is hungry and drinks q a lot, but shouldnt she be able to go through by now? and if so, IS it the lack of dummy that's waking her?

who mentioned gaffer tape?!

slim22 · 27/09/2007 05:09

maybe time for solid food for tea?

Egypt · 27/09/2007 05:54

yeah, but thing with blw is they feed themselves - and very VERY little goes down until they master the act of chewing and swallowing.

blimey this is the thread with variety!

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