What does "drowsy but awake" really mean

[PandaMum88]

FTM here, so please excuse me if I sound like an idiot!!

I'm pretty sure we're currently in the midst of the 4mo sleep regression - and while I'm on the mindset "just do whatever we need to do to survive" - I am starting to worry about what we need to do to get DS in a better sleep habits.

Currently during the day he doesn't need the boob to nap, but I have to rock/bounce him to sleep. At night he feeds just before bed and sometimes falls asleep on the boob abs sometimes needs some extra rocking to fall asleep.

Now that he's waking up 4/5/6 times a night I'm feeding him to sleep each time as it's the only way to get him back down. Am I creating a rod for my own back, though? So he's going to need a feed instead of self settling?? And during the day, how do I get him to not need rocking to sleep?

Everyone keeps saying put them down "drowsy but awake", but what does that really mean?? DS doesn't have strong sleepy cues, so now when I think it's nap time I rock him for 10-25min until he starts falling asleep in my arms and then put him down. The rocking is what makes him drowsy...if I just laid him down his eyes would pop open and want to look around. So how am I meant to break the sleep association of rocking/bouncing if he doesn't get drowsy on his own??

Sorry for the long post..hoping it makes sense, as I'm so confused!

The best, best advice I had on sleep on MN was that your baby's sleep 'problems' are only problems if they become a problem for you.
We co slept and fed all night to get some sleep. I loved it.
But then DS started to only settle when cosleeping. I had to go to bed at 7pm andnit just wasnt tenable. He now sleeps in his cot. The sleep is great but fuck I miss the cuddles!!!

This ‘awake but drowsy’ state DOES NOT EXIST for about 99.9% of babies ime.

^^ this x1000.

I feed my 6mo to sleep, he wakes once a night for a feed. I lived in terror for ages after reading all the books and thinking he would never learn to self settle when he woke in thenight and wasn’t hungry. Total rubbish.

I have lost far more sleep through worry! Throw the books away and do what works for you.

I have said this on other threads but just to reassure you, the drowsy but awake state does exist for my baby, and he is pretty good at self settling. It does not make a BLIND BIT OF DIFFERENCE and he still wakes up multiple times every night! So I'd just forget about it if I was you!

I had a rock to sleep association on the go. I just slowly rocked less till he fell asleep just in my arms (held to sleep), then worked on getting him to fall asleep in his cot. It did do wonders for his night wakings, he went from multiple wakings to once a night.

'Drowsy but awake' for him meant eyes closed, arms still and stopped telling stories. Then I'd pop him in his cot, his eyes would flicker open then he'd go back to sleep.

He also never had a strong sleepy signal, I think that's because he didn't know what being tired was! Now he's getting good at sleeping, he definitely has signals that I recognise.

If you're happy, don't worry about the advice! If you're not happy, then you can work to fix it. 4 months is so wee! Most things suggest getting through the 4 month regression first though.